The sin of refusing sex

He is married...

I just sang those words with DOlly's voice in my head

Okay, Dolly.

Actually, I wasn't familiar with those lyrics, but I did a quick "Google" search.

Btw, I meant to ask you this the last time through...

Was that a reference to the Moody Blues' "I know you're out there somewhere" on your Virtual Dating thread (in one of your previous posts)?

That's always been one of my favorite songs...even though she's obviously found a great hiding spot wherever she is out there...lol.

I wonder what it is like to be so intolerant that you cannot see that you have completely misunderstood and do not give two shakes of a rat's tail about it either.

I am not really asking. I think you are best left to your own musings. God has said plenty in the Bible concerning marriage and that has been my point worded in different ways throughout my posts. Marriage has many components to it and you are welcome to consider but one.

You are not welcome to expect everyone else to take your word for it when I suspect most of us have a Bible and can read it.

I still cannot understand why you think you must address anyone else as some sort of person who does not believe scripture because they actually have a broader view of what scripture states and do not believe Paul expressed a doctrine to be conflated with salvation or any doctrine at all really. I am wondering if you take to heart that he also appears to have said women should be silent.

Or do you find exceptions there that are more to your liking? Personally I do not think women should just be silent but that is not what this thread is about. Whatever the answers to my questions might be, I don't believe I shall find understanding on where you have decided I have been derelict concerning scripture.

I shall gladly ignore you as much for your comfort as my own. cheerio.

I just took a quick peek at that thread.

138 pages of posts?!?

Me too. We have a Dolly license plate on our car in Tennessee. Very colorful.

Just gonna mark my spot here so I know where to jump back to, because 4 pages of lengthy post (I scrolled on ahead) is much more than I have time for right now, and I know Kala's quote was the place I seriously read to.

I LOVE Dolly!!

I'm now believing, because of your insistence,
That you use sex as a manipulation tool on your spouse....

You likely ARE the MOST guilty of this sin that scriptures discuss.


So you are exposed.

You manipulate those you claim you love....that's pathetic.

I believe it has to do with a woman essentially being in a submissive role during sex to begin with (regardless if whether or no she is "in charge", it is the man who is entering her), so when she feels expected/"forced" to have sex, it is like a double whammy. I have read, and heard this. There could be something psychological going on. Some women may not accept the submissive status of their sexual relationship; this type of feeling is confirmed if the husband is having sex just to fulfill his needs without much intimacy.

I like her. My wife loves her.

I can't find it

However, the "Not By Works" thread has 7,612 pages of posts

Not By Works - Christian Chat Rooms & Forums

Unfortunately that can occur and does. Of course it’s not applicable to every married couple, but enough to cause a marriages to dissolve. Again, sex is a very powerful blessing God has given and when applied in the the way it was intended to be, it really manifests into a unity(One flesh). When used inappropriately, it can cause much damage.

But submission is part of the Christian life. We even are to submit to one another. There is a fine line. I think you have probably read my posts about my sister and her emotionally abusive marriage. In fact I knew a "Christian" judge who sent a wife back to her husband who had raped her, I believe he later beat her up badly. So this is a very fine line we're walking here. But the OP made clear he was talking about healthy Christian relationships. A man who would rape his wife, that is not a healthy relationship.



Well it's up to a woman to teach her husband what intimacy is. If we are talking about a healthy relationship, we should be filling each others needs. A woman should say what her needs are to her husband, and he should be able to do the same. Sharing together they should be able to find a rhythm that meets each others needs.

Dolly Parton. He posted lyrics from one of her songs.

Considering I Corinthians 7, if you can live without 'burning' then you can be celibate for life. Some people think 'burning' has to do with wanting to have sex. That makes sense in the passage. Paul uses the term elsewhere to express his emotional concern over sin in the church, so it isn't specifically about sex. Maybe some people burn wanting romance, intimacy, etc., too, which is somewhat related to having a sexual partner in some ways.

Btw, the idea that you should fall in love and get married isn't exactly in the Bible. There are a lot of people you can fall in love with that you shouldn't marry, and for those in in an arranged marriages, then the husband still needs to love his wife, etc.

About the robot thing, I don't get it. When I think 'robot', I think of some moving thing made out of steel. Why would being a robot have sex at night? I'm thinking of that 'AI' movie, which I thought was kind of dumb, but still, I think of moving metal when I heard 'robot.'

laughingheart, post: 4251078, member: 245919"]Sin is about offending God. What about the sin of the husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church? What about the vows to honour and respect? If you love them and want their best, does demanding what you want despite the wishes of your partner, show love? Is your wife tired, ill, sad or overwhelmed? Be considerate. Help where you can and care about her. These are biblical mandates. Maybe it is time to look at your responsibilities towards your wife as an act of love for God. I am not sure how impressed God is with any of his children stomping their feet and demanding their rights. Love your neighbour/wife as you love yourself.

Click to expand...

On this and a variety of other topics, there can be a place for calling someone out on not doing what they are supposed to. If I behave in an unloving manner toward my wife, generally at some point she will point it out to me.

I notice with my wife's people-group, the parents are very insistent that their children honor them. This seemed a bit odd to me at first, but it is good if parents teach their children to do what is right. This is more obvious with children because parents are so influential on children, who can turn out really messed up if their parents...or someone... doesn't train them. But even in other relationships, insisting the other person do what is right isn't always a bad thing.

Somehow, early on I to this idea that being mistreated was noble, maybe because of Christ on the cross, martyrs, etc., but it wouldn't be good to let your children treat you badly. It is not good for them, and it is not loving to not teach your children to honor you. In relationships with your brethren in Christ, it can be appropriate to confront others. Leviticus says do not hate your brother in your heart but rebuke your neighbor frankly lest you share in his sin.

And when it comes to marriage, especially a Christian marriage, there is certainly a place for pointing out when your spouse isn't doing right. And if your husband or wife cuts you off from sex, confronting the spouse over that can be a very healthy thing for the marriage. Painting such conversations as stomping your feet and demanding your rights may not be very helpful.

Also, the way Paul puts it... agreeing to abstain from sex... does put the weight on the pro-sex side of things in the marriage. If someone has a lower sex drive than the other partner, there may be hundred reasons not to have sex. Some people seem to think there needs to be some special 'mood' for sex. I don't really relate to that concept, though some moods might enhance it. Having sex to fulfill a partner's physical and emotional needs, rather than just because one wants it for oneself, may be necessary to have a healthy relationship in this aspect of marriage.

As far as demanding sex goes, I modified the Braveheart line for this situation once, "I demand my rights as a husband." The guy who used it was slaughtering the nobleman who used the right of first night to adulterously rape his wife. I used it for something else, with my wife, once, and things turned out well. But that was being playful. I don't consider this to be sinful.

A former co-worker of mine said he gave his wife an aspirin and a glass of water. She said, "What is this for?" He said, "It's for your headache." She said, "I don't have a headache." He said, 'Well, let's do something..."

Apparently this was successful.