The Banned Game

The pirahnas claim the lipsticks are being made from their scales and they were duped into attending ' 'charm' school surrounding Mosestaria, but it was really...some kind of fish farm auschwitz.

Yes something fishy IS going on.

Lanolinland is going Rubyland 24 hours notice to get their lipsticks back, or we are going to dump them in the previous Kings underwater volcano incincerator which is offshore from LanolinLand and half way to Rubyland.

Mosestaria gratefully accepts this humanitarian gesture of goodwill and peace from Hairy the Shittimistanian and his beleagured people, and moves to the next stage of their great leader's [May his eyes never weaken and his shoes ever shine] plan - the introduction of some more perilous creatures.

With the (arguably useless) toothless piranhas now teeming in the waters surrounding Mosestaria and bordering the badlands previously known as Rubyland, a natural predator is needed to make good use of the overabundant source of protein (for environmental purposes). Ideally, this predator would also be able to keep unwanted interlopers - such as all Jennymaesians, and the Madame President of Rubyland - from interloping.

Introducing, our newest, ugly-but-efficient deterrent around the Great Moat of the Great Mosestaria. The abundance of protein will allow our new guardians to breed most prolifically, without ever being in danger of starvation.

Met up with President Jennymae and President Lanolin, we have an alliance known as "the triangle"
We came across the predator swimming in the sea that runs through the border between Rubyland and Mosestaria. Well, lets just say we were hungry and my private chef made nice work out of this creature. The rest of him is filleted.

Okay, Madame President. You asked for it. All poor Geoffrey wanted to do was swim, nourish himself in the Great Moat of Great Mosestaria, and scare tourists, but you had to go and spoil it all by filleting him and eating him.

Well, Geoffrey was, as they say in the shark-world, soft. Introducing the Great Shark, to swim in the Great Moat, of the Great Mosestaria. I doubt you will be filleting this species so easily!

King Moses, I am afraid your great shark met with Rubylands resident shark "Grace" and well lets just say he will not be on your employee list anymore. You cant just feed him on all your tyres lying around and expect him to be strong enough for Grace

This is footage of him as he met with Grace, he did not have a chance

Wait, is Grace one of those poisonous sharks?! Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. It matters not - the Great Moat of Great Mosestaria is filled with many, many Great Sharks. You'll need plenty of "Grace" sharks to poison them all. Are they called "Grace" sharks because the expectation is that the predator will pray to give thanks to God before it eats?

No, her name is Grace because the woman who donated her to my land was called Grace so I decided to name her after her previous owner.

She is not poisonous, just highly skilled. She can take on all of your Mosestarian sharks. That is why we feel so safe in Rubyland. Also we have the addition of the lipstick missiles kindly supplied by the empress.

But Grace just got eaten?!? And you said that was bad for the Great Shark... So unless Grace was carrying explosives... How does Grace win in this scenario, let alone break even? You can't win by getting eaten..... Or Grace is a type of parasite, much like how Mosestaria views Rubyland?

hmm seems Geoffrey and Grace should have met on a date and had a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich and NOT eaten each other.

But it is too late now

This shark behaviour is getting out of hand, but I think it due to lack of jellyfish

Where have they gone?! I have my suspicions.

some intel to Rubyland

I heard Shittimstan has a huge stockpile of frozen tomatoes
I think they may be planning an attack of some sort but I am not sure where their allegiances lie. Never know where you stand with them sadly.

You maybe be able to use this to your advantage

The Lanolinlanders who visited Shittimstan in the last tomato melee saw they were keeping some back in the freezer. They go well with moa eggs but fried not poached.

Where is Empress @jennymae? I need to purchase some more lipstick missiles. That together with the tomatoes should be ample for Rubyland to finally destroy Mosestaria, esp after calling us parasites

We have been kind so far as to allow him to keep his country full of discarded used tyres but now it is time for us to overtake. Dont know what we will do with all the used tyres though. Maybe we can supply the world with backdoor mats?

I dont know the whereabouts of Empress @jennymae ...she's not even showing up on my marauders map

But I do know that you can make sandals and shoes and boots out of spare tyres.
Lanolanders will buy them because our land gets muddy and we need ones with good grip

The Empress has been busy investigating what Mosestaria is doing with all those used tires. Turns out to be a front hiding way more shady stuff, which is to be expected (we’re after all talking about Mosestaria here😂). Jennymaesia has been tapping the Mosestarian phones and managed to come across a very private conversation between the Mosestarian ruler and an old hag known for compromising lipstick missiles. They are using old tires to make people believe they’re used cars salesmen. Unfortunately they forgot to add any vehicles to the make believe business and the Jennymaesian secret lipstick service now has the old hag in custody. She is being interrogated as we speak and has already admitted to the felony charges of making green lipstick. As a result a Blush Unit has been sent off to Mosestaria to track down the ruler and bring him before the Empress.😂

Beware of the Mosestarian pox, a disease that makes the brain believe that a kindergarten is a mighty country. Very contagious.😂

Jennymaesia usually doesn’t deploy the military on a kindergarten. Maybe we will send a preschool teacher to get things straight in that not so well organized place.😁

As with all civilised countries, Mosestarians consider the use of green lipstick to be a crime against humanity. The women who are tainted with it will never kiss again, and men who see it become completely densensitised as to the difference between beauty and ugliness. The Mosestarian Law of War Handbook therefore strictly prohibits the use of such weapons. As the Law of War Handbook was written by Moses the Young(er) (May his pot be ever black and his kettle ever blacker), it is highly doubtful he would be involved with a hag engaged in breaking his own rules.

Mosestaria also questions the validity of the claims of Jennymaesia about the capture of this hag - how did Jennymaesian security forces manage to cross the Great moat of Mosestaria, kidnap a Mosestarian grandmother, and bring her back to Jennymaesia without being eaten by the Mosestarian Great Sharks or poisoned (or detonated?) by the Rubyland Grace sharks? Mosestarian wise men suspect this may be a propaganda effort to defame the good name of the popular Mosestarian Chieftain, Moses the Young(er) (May his cup be ever filled with milk and his teeth be ever whiter). The hag (if she even exists at all) is probably a twisted, old witch working out of a Jennymaesian garage, who was working with Jennymaesian secret services on the prohibited weapons from the start.

The hag actually was once a resident of Rubyland. She crossed the border as she had a flat tyre and wanted to steal one from Mosestaria. However once she crossed over we would not allow her to re enter Rubyland. She is actually not that old but living such a tough life in Mosestaria she has aged quickly. Moses works her to the bone cleaning up after him and cooking his food. Poor woman.

Madame President of Rubyland seems to know much of this hag, as does the Empress of Jennymaesia. Yet neither of these leaders have explained why said hag was of no consequence to either power until the Great Moat of Mosestaria was dug, when she allegedly appeared in Mosestaria carrying out crimes against humanity, not to mention the laws of the Great Mosestarian Chieftain Moses the Young(er) (may his eyes ever shine and his mighty toenails be ever trimmed). And then said hag was miraculously kidnapped from Mosestaria by the Jennymaesian secret lipstick service from under the sleeping, whiskery noses of the Mosestarian military, and without so much as disturbing one of the millions of Great Sharks or Grace sharks in the Great Moat of Mosestaria.

The Mosestarian Association of Wise Men are calling this story a Hoax Hag. Next thing, the two powers will be saying the secret Jennymaesian lipstick service whisked old hag away via broomstick to avoid the sharks on the return trip...


Artists impression of the collaborative Jennymaesian and Rubylander propaganda

Shittimistan's newly appointed (forced into taking the position) defense minster Hairy has worked on a program that should leap frog any and all other moat defense measures..... Leaving Shittimastan to be "well armed" to the tune of eight! Bwahahahaha.........

I know the hag as she was my next door neighbour. I dont know how the Empress knows her??
I may need to breed a few of these Octopus's in the sea of Rubyland. They will be handy against the Mosterian sharks.