Time To Vent Again

Oddly, just this morning, as I was having my morning coffee, I wondered why there wasn't a "support group" type Thread here on CC for those who suffer from chronic pain.

I can mirror much of what you explained about how chronic pain causes so much disruption in a persons body, mind AND spirit.

Those who were around in 2016 may remember when I was struck down with a severe reaction to Prevnar 13. My life ended the day I got that shot. A new life started. One which found that I would never know another day free of pain. And sometimes that pain was debilitating. And, at times, it still is. The following complicaiton compounded the pain, and the massive doses of "pain killers" the VA gave me did little more than keep my pain level just below the "suicidal" level.

I am still fighting this "deamon" of chronic pain, and I know that I will until God calls me home. It is life changing! I can also state with complete clarity that I would not be alive today if it were not for my faith in God and that He could see me through the suffering I live with every minute of every day!

Years ago, when I went on a "rant" on the BDF, some here would joke that I must be "off my Meds..." Truth is, that no matter the level of Medication, chronic pain can, on occasion, "flare up" or "spike" taking it above what the Medicaiton can treat. This most often causes one to not be in the best of moods... sigh.

I pray that God will continue to strengthen you, and that you see some periods of "new normal" low pain times. I have learned to cherrish such times, no matter how brief. Sleeping more than an hour or two is also a Godly blessing!

Hang in there! One day there will be NO MORE PAIN!

Father God,

We pray for all our dear brothers and sisters who suffer daily, even by the minute, from pains and ailments, whether seen or unseen, both physical and mental.

We ask that you would please touch them with Your love, comfort, and healing within this life according to what You will, for nothing is impossible with You.

We know you are a good God who cares for His children and captures every one of their tears in remembrance.

Please remember those who are suffering constantly with little relief. Grant them love and care, whether through Your direct touch or through others who can come to their aid. Please give them more times in which they know Your abundant love rather than the sorrows of this earthly life.

Please give them the strength to keep going, the peace that passes all understand, and the joy of the Lord in the midst of all their troubles.

By His stripes we are healed, whether in this life, or the next.

In Jesus Holy Name,

Amen.

? was anybody else hurt in the car accident?
The car may be written off but you are still alive, thank God.

Not many people survive car accidents, the road toll is scarily high in nz. I think they publish it as a reminder for people to slow down or at least be careful.

I was thinking, would we have your threads and posts if you didnt have your suffering and torment? Sorry that you are going through that, is that even the right thing to say to you guys...I dont know but I wish you knew that reading a lot of opinions, ideas, feelings and thoughts from other Christians is a BIG DEAL to those who are on the receiving end. Especially when you share what trials you are going through, and you speak from the heart, just know that you are not alone.

I still have days were I'm exhausted but I have to remember scripture says we will suffer. Jesus suffered hours of pain and misery where Paul had years of beatings, imprisonments, and a thorn in the side that never subsided.

It is in that scripture where I instantly broke the chains of bondage that pain had over me. It gave me the courage to let God move in me and show His strength through my weakness.

I know those days...sadly. I've spent the last two exhausted because I have not been able to do more than take a short nap in my recliner. The pain has been acting up, and that means I get no sleep. Why I haven't been on line I suppose. I don't like to post comments when my pain is spiking up because I usually regret saying something to someone that I would normally not.

It has eased up this evening, but I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight either.

I have been using my TENS unit almost constantly, ice packs, pain cream and a massaging pad that has heat..... They all work to ease the pain for a short period of time, and I take advantage of that time to sit in my recliner in the dark with the A/C on full blast and pray to get at least 30 minutes!

I usually don't say much about my situation here because I know there are others here who are suffering as much as, or mayhaps, even more than I. I know there are countless numbers of Vets who are suffering as I am, and worse. I see them every time I go to the VA Hospital. It is heartbreaking to see some of them, because I know they are not getting the medical care they deserve. Not because the VA doesn't care about them, but because the VA isn't provided the necessary logistics and trained caregivers to properly treat the Vets. The VA is overwhelmed by the number of Vets needing medical care. I know that those who have served me have been caring and dedicated members of the VA. From the Doctors on down the line to the Greeters at the doors. They will do whatever they can for you IF you just ask.

The only time I have been dissatisfied, even angry, is with the Nurse who stabbed me with that needle full of Prevnar 13. It took me about four years to fully forgive her, and not dream of STABBING HER! But, we are to forgive those who do us wrong, and it isn't always easy, but, as Christians, we have to do it.

During the worst time, I had Nurses and Receptionists and Therapists and Technitions who would walk with me where ever I had to go just to be sure I didn't fall, or need something. I wouldn't use a wheelchair because walking actually did help with the pain.

I remember one day when after enduring two Cat Scans and a 45 minute MRI, I was walking to the elevators to finally go home. I was on the 4th floor of the Hospital. As usual, I was walking close to the wall.......just in case...... A man in Hospital Scrubs came walking by me and then stopped and asked me where i was going. Told him I was going to the ground floor East Exit to catch the Shuttle to the parking garage, but wanted to find the deposit box for my Travel Voucher. He said not to worry, he would show me the way. I have no idea what he was doing at the time, but whatever it was, he put it on hold and we rode the elevator down, and he walked me around to where I could submit my Travel Voucher to be reimbursed for my fuel, and then walked me to the East Wing Door where the Shuttle Bus was waiting. I thanked him, and he stated he was happy he could be of service.

I didn't even ask his name. Truth is, I was worn out and just wanted to get to my car and drive home! As I was getting on the Shuttle, the Driver asked me if I knew who that was that escorted me to the Shuttle. I didn't, but I knew he was a Doctor or Technician because he was wearing Scrubs. The Driver said......you just met the Head of Surgery!

I was surprised. I can imagine that the Doctor had way more important things to do than to walk all around the VA with me, but, he walked with me with a smile on his face, and kind words spoken. I say this to say that in my experience, the people who work at the VA are doing so because they actually care. Lord knows, none of them are getting ritch.....

Any way........praying for you Brother, and all here who are suffering in their own way...

May God bless, touch and keep you!

Chronic pain is exhausting. On days like today, I wonder whether I can make it to the end of the week. It allowed me to be still long enough to contemplate my beliefs and grow such humility to understand the underlying psychological problems people face. I suffered years of anxiety and panic attacks, and then the car accident left me with chronic back and nerve pain.

I stay free from anxiety most days due to my reliance on God, but that took years to mature.

Most days feel like a physical hell of torment, yet I can't help but encourage others. Surrounded by people but yet you can feel alone as, in the end, it is only you who can push yourself forward. No one can do it for you. That is a lot to carry when I'm exhausted. I try to collapse my mind into the hands of God, but it is impossible to physically do so as I am not near death even though I am trying to relearn how to live and resist the melancholy spirit of pain.

It took a long time after the accident to accept my new reality. I was grieving the old me and felt he had died mentally the day of the accident. I did not know how to move forward, but thankfully God found me and called me out of that tomb. I was brought to life mentally and spiritually even if the physical wasn't healed.

But now I know what it means to suffer, what it means to be different, what it means to be transformed. I may be venting here, as days like this draw me inward and those around me are so used to my circumstances I no longer know what to say other than I am not okay. But what can others do? Nothing. So why talk about it? Why must I put a damper on your day just because most of my days are not good? Where instead, I receive joy by sharing the joy I have and watching the joy in others.

I suppose what weighs is I am the sole provider working a job with limited opportunities to make the same wage, but this job as a labor blue collar job only breaks me down more. It can feel as if my eight people household all depends on me, so I suck it up and go to work, but wondering is this going to be the day when either my body completely fails, or my mind slips into darkness. An everyday battle awaits within the mind as Satan tries and tries to defeat me. So far, due to God's grace and security, I continue to be fulfilled in ministry.

Anyways thank you all for those on this site who have always been encouraging. I do not get to vent like this often. So thank you.

I'm not sure. I hit my head on the my driver side window and I remember being worried about them. I saw smoke coming out their van, then saw car seats. I eventually made it over to see it they needed help but it was like tunnel vision. I can remember my spine making this tingling feeling up and down it but didn't think anything of it at the time. I was young and dumb. I denied medical assistance, went home and slept off the bruises, aches and pains. Then a few weeks later the chronic pain began and a long journey of medical care with basically pain management.

I have no idea if those people are good today. I do remember them denying my assistance and saying they were okay. I was never sued because the police officer listed in the report put the blame on a power company.

Their truck was parked on the corner of the road and as I tried to ease out far enough to turn, the van didn't have enough time to stop and swerved but still made contact with my driver's side fender. It broke the motor mounts, sent my truck a 180° into the ditch, blew out the tires, and turned the frame into a crooked C.

Really though I am blessed they swerved and didn't hit my driver side door. It is kinda strange watching in slow motion something you believes is about to ram straight into your door. I can't forget that part because just remember the front end looking dead at me and so I panicked trying to break but then in a split second hoping to get out the way I hit the gas, so somewhere in between one of our actions, I believe saved my life.

Ironically, living in denial I spent 2 years rebuilding that truck with a new frame and everything just trying to reassemble the image of my old life.

I built it, painted it and drove it for years but it didn't fix the problem. The truck looked new but I wasn't the same and needed to be repaired myself.

I am happy to say that I have had two very good days. Praise God for that. My pain level has settled down to its normal level, and I am able to rest, and, most important, to be physically able to do my chores!

It is amazing what the human body can adjust to though. Given time, it will adjust to injuries/pain which inflict it, and be able to survive. I find it funny in a way that I have learned to survive with a pain level of 7. That is not the norm for people, and for many, it would be debilitating. However, after six years, my body has learned to deal with that level of pain. Now, best to remember that THIS LEVEL is with my being MEDICATED!

I do not want to discover what I would feel like IF I came off of my Meds.....goodness

Anyway, I am praising God that I feel well enough to do my chores, and sleep at least three or four hours a night! I also am praying for all those here who are suffering with Chroini Pain Syndron as well. May God touch your body, spirit and mind!