Deuteronomy 22:28–29 Why don't Church singles group encourage singles to get married?

Look at the reaction of their father, that tells you everything.

Depends on the spouse. With the right spouse, you will put up with a lot, just because of how you feel about them. My parents had their issues and fought, but they would never go anywhere without each other.

I have told Christians GOD has one standard about sex and and single person, no sex before marriage. (and we fail at that) You say no one on one dating, no kissing, no holding hands, no physical touching, no singles groups. I guess you think GOD's standards were not high enough.

I agree...

1 Corinthians 7:

25Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

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In those verse Paul was speaking to a church under persecution. We are not. This verse does not apply.

It seems confusing, but I think it might get clearer with this.
He is supposed to marry her.
His payment goes to the father if I remember correctly.
This is a lesser sin of fornication, not a capital crime. It is not excused. It's dealt with as it should be today.
Unfortunately, protecting a young ladies' virginity seems to be unimportant to most of the current generation. Present company of forum members excluded.

That is correct.

We are.

Does.

Perhaps you are living in happy-fuzzy land, but many of us are not. We are now nearer to the end than we ever have been before.

Just sayin' Don't mean to sound negative. I am joyfully anticipating the coming of the Kingdom.

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It's a matter of common sense. The problem is not with kissing and cuddling, it's what it can lead to. It's difficult in an age when casual sex is the norm. Girls need to know that they don't have to sleep with a guy just because she is "in love". She also needs to know that men who have no restraint are rarely good husbands.

Good churches are going to make sure that the members understand that fornication will send them to hell.
They can no longer live that way as they did before they were saved.
So they will teach them how to be careful to not fall into temptation.
Because willful deliberate fornicating will result in eternal damnation. Do not be deceived. That is why they are careful to teach them how not to put themselves in a position where it will be easy to fall.

Paul said much more about the benefit of remaining single. His advice is to those who are serious about serving Christ.

He said they would be happier if they were like him. And if they married they had not sinned but they would have trouble in the flesh.

Sure he said that not everyone had this gift and that it was better to marry than to burn but that was not intended to negate all the other advice he gave about the value of undistracted life of remaining single.

Let's not misrepresent what Paul said about the value self control.



Read 1 Cor 7

1Now in response to the matters you wroteA about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”B 2But because sexual immorality is so common,a a each man should have sexual relations with his own wife,b and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband. 3A husband should fulfill his marital dutya to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5Do not deprivea one another — except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves toA prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all people were as I am. But each has his own gifta from God, one person has this gift, another has that.

8I say to the unmarriedA and to widows:a It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9But if they do not have self-control,a they should marry, since it is better to marryb than to burn with desire.

25Now about virgins:A I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercya is faithful.b 26Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28However, if you do get married,a you have not sinned, and if a virginA marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life,B and I am trying to spare you.

29This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited,a so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoicea as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, 31and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.a

32I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord — how he may pleasea the Lord. 33But the married man is concerned about the things of the world — how he may please his wife —  34and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord,a so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world — how she may please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

36If any man thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage, and he feels he should marry — he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. 37But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own willa) and has decided in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well. 38So, then, he who marries his fiancée does well, but he who does not marry will do better.A

And if no one finds out they had sex? What happens then?
Did you read Deuteronomy 22:28–29 ? It's about 2 people having consensual sex. There was no real punishment, just get married and pay the father a bride's price. There is no sin offering or punishment. Paul encouraged those who had a hard time to marry. It's very sad churches put so many restrictions on singles dating. If they have sex, the church should just tell them to get married and the benefits of being married.

I had a friend who went along with no kissing before marriage. Shortly after she got married, I saw her at church. As she walked toward me I said, "How is everything going?" As she passed me she said, "If he doesn't like the way I kiss it's too bad" That is something they could have dealt with before they got married. Some people are just cold when it comes to physical touching. Do you really want to marry someone like that?

No born again believer in Jesus makes light of fornication.

Now listen carefully to what Paul said in the New Testament

1 Cor 6 (yes the chapter before 1 Cor 7)
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous[a] will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,[b] 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

You used to do those things but when you get born again you would rather DIE than to do those things again and grieve the heart of Jesus.

Born again Christians love God with all their heart and they Love Jesus and don't want to deny him with sin like Peter did at his trial.

They say NO to temptation and flee from it as if it were a burning brand from hell itself.

That is why churches teach singles how not to fall. Falling into fornication Is a BIG DEAL

Falling into sexual immorality is a very big deal. Those who don't care are not yet born again.

Depends on the person and their restraint like Gideon said. Would you be able to stop at first base? Even as a Christian?

Anyone who thinks they should t
Please don't use Deut. to tell people who fall into fornication that they should now get married.

That is the worse advice you could ever give anyone in your church. Talk to your pastor and he will tell you that he would not tell people that.

Usually those who fall into fornication should separate and not see each other. They should focus on their love for Jesus and grow strong enough that they would never do that again with anyone else.

No one who has just fallen into fornication is marriageable material. You are locking in your mistake with an ungodly person by marrying them. This is not good advice at all.


I don't know if you know this or not, but most good Church Singles Groups are made up of individual members who don't want people there who think fornication on a date is not a big deal. They would rather those kinds of people stay at the bars and not come to their meetings.

It's not the CHURCH that is putting restrictions on them, they are the ones that come up with the rules. They have decided for themselves that they want there to be plenty of boundaries and methods in place that have been proved to be successful in insuring that they do not fall into the sin of fornication or get even close to it with any kind of arousal type heavy petting nonsense.

Not because the CHURCH put restrictions on them but because they Love Jesus and HATE SIN.

And many good Churches also have good methods in place to weed out those members who are just there to prey on vulnerable women. They can spot a lust filled snake in a New York minute and they will not allow them to join.

Many sold out to the Lord Jesus loving saints do not even like singles groups because they are notorious for weird people who's salivation is questionable. They prefer outreaches and ministries in the church as a means to meet people who are all about serving Jesus and others.

Singles groups are not very popular today because of the creepy people that ruin them.

This was an issue that could have been dealt with BEFORE marriage. Now it's much worse. They might not have gotten married.

I have had married Christians tell me, if a single Christian even thinks about sex, they have sinned. Try telling that to a teenager. They will laugh at you. If you're going to say, just thinking about sex is a sin, you might as well go out and have sex. Because you're saying there's no difference between thinking it and doing it. You don't understand what Jesus said in the Greek and the intention. You look at an English text and assume what the intent is.

It sounds like he was concerned that he would have no restraint before marriage. Kissing is not a big deal I dont think, now they are married they can practice a lot. Maybe its an oral hygiene issue? Ive never heard anyone dealing with this before, mind you I cant think of anyone who would admit it.

There is a wonderful mind transformation that takes place when we give our whole heart and mind to Christ.

We can actually think about things like He does.

We an have the mind of Christ. Do you think Christ sinned with impure thoughts about sex? No we don't have to either.

When I was a teenager I thought impure thoughts about sex everyday, and then at 18 I was born again and within a few weeks I was completely changed and never thought like that again.

I was so grateful to not be in bondage to perversion or lust thoughts. It really is one of the sins that Jesus gives people complete victory over when they pray, and ask him and do the renewing of the mind that they are to do as they follow scriptures and apply them.

I remember thinking that I would look at younger women as sisters and older as mothers with all purity, and I did that, not looking at their body parts, (would I do that with my sister or my mother) and soon it was a habit and I did not even think about doing anything other than that to this day. 40 years later.

The idea of looking at a woman's body parts would never cross my mind nor would I ever do such a disgusting thing. And yet when I was not saved I was a real creep like that. We dont have to stay that way. When Jesus sets us free we are free indeed.

Good for you, just don't apply it to others who have other callings.