What Kind of Man Can God Trust With One of His Daughters?

You can still look. LOL. Oh man. Job would be shaking his head. He said, "I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look [lustfully] upon a young woman" (Job 31:1). Sorry, Job.

I'll keep family, friends, marriage, and everything else in their proper places. I can recognize friends and foes, 'good news and bad news', so I can protect the people and things I love.

Did you choose to never marry? I prefer to be independent and single (free and unfettered); but I also am aware and acknowledge that I need a helpmate and that God has one for me (though I have no idea who she is).

How did God get a hold of you in that mop closet? What happened?

It's never a good thing to be a nice guy before and especially after the Lord. I was a fairly nice guy (due to upbringing) until God got a hold of me and began to show me that I was walking in a false identity that was not who I really was and that 'nice' is no part of any man's God-given design or makeup. (Rather, nice is forced on men by any number of things including upbringing, culture, their moms, women in their lives, social pressure, trauma, etc.) I also don't believe that God makes women 'nice' either (rather, He makes women gentle which is often counterfeited and superimposed over by 'nice'); therefore, God certainly doesn't make men 'nice'. 'Nice' is the counterfeit of 'kind' for men (and 'gentle' for women). The Bible says, "Love is patient; love is kind" (1Corinthians 13), and the fruits of the spirit include "gentleness" (Galatians 5:22-23). There is no 'nice' in either passage.

It can also be reasonably asked what kind of woman can God trust with one of His sons.

I mean, somebody has to say it.

I know this thread isn't about that, but as it is often said, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Can you enumerate from that Ephesians 5 verse? I was asking what 'the man' looks like in character, actions, motivation, etc.

I already asked the converse here: https://christianchat.com/christian...er-can-god-trust-with-one-of-his-sons.206739/

I think everyone's flaw is a lack of godly fellowship and ministry. Without those things, everyone is floundering, unsure, confused, and in the dark. God gave everyone gifts that they are meant to use for others in the Body. When a fellowship functions that way, then they don't have any lack, all questions can be answered, and hidden things (eg. about family history) can be revealed. Do you have a group of people-- large or small-- that you fellowship with?

The most important thing in my mind is that he/his life reflects that of Christ.

No I dont, my family have moved away from the church and Im on the fence. Its what I hoped to also get out of CC.

what does that look like to you?

Okay. Well, fellowship was always meant to be had in person. (I'm not saying you need to be in a church, but face to face is the natural way to fellowship-- even if it's just one or two other people.) So, don't hope for too much or be disappointed if you don't get as much as you need/want online.

I think you got it in one.

Such a shame. All the rest of us don't seem to stand a chance against Mr. Ignore.

I'm curious to hear this answer as well.

Primarily because of something that happened more than once in my own marriage.

To me the answer from love on the reflection of Christ lies here in the following verses. (1 Cor 13:13:2-13)

I agree with brighthouse98. This is one of the scriptures that comes to mind when I think of Jesus. He is love, so why not start there.

You can see examples of these qualities as you read all the accounts that we’ve been given with Jesus.

Will we ever perfectly resemble Him? No, of course not, but we can try our best.

What examples? And what do those examples practically look like in a man?

Let me begin by saying that, with God as my Witness (that means something when I say it because I truly do fear God), nothing that I'm about to say or ask is being said or asked in any sort of antagonistic way. I simply have some genuine concerns, in relation to both men and women alike, which I'm looking to hopefully address for everyone's consideration.

Seeing how Jesus truly is our example in all things, and seeing how we're presently discussing the topic of marriage or what qualities a man should possess within the confines of the same, can we please consider the following?

Ephesians chapter 5

[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

One of the ways in which a husband is to love his wife, even as Christ also loved the church, is in direct relation to "the washing of water by the word" or in relation to sanctification unto holiness.

Please allow me to give you all an example from my own failed marriage in order to hopefully help illustrate what I'm trying to say.

When I was married, I was the furthest thing imaginable from some sort of "dictatorial warlord". In other words, I NEVER went around trying to browbeat my wife or children into some sort of submissive obedience. Instead, we regularly had family Bible studies together, and I fully trusted God's word and his Spirit, accompanied by and followed up with prayer, to lead all of us and to deal with any matters in our hearts, MINE INCLUDED, that might have needed to be dealt with. Ironically, I was ultimately hauled into a court of law, after having had a temporary restraining order placed against me, as I had been falsely charged with "multiple accounts of domestic violence and child abuse". Nothing could be further from the truth, and I was ultimately found to be totally innocent of the charges that had been falsely leveled against me in a court of law.

Anyhow, to the best of my recollective knowledge, there were only two times when I actually directly confronted my ex about her wickedness, and, on both occasions, we were lying next to each other in bed at night.

On both occasions, I softly and gently asked her the following question:

"You know that you're doing evil, right?"

Now, to the uninformed reader, that might sound antagonistic, but it totally wasn't. My ex was doing things that I literally could have had her arrested for, and she wouldn't have been found innocent of the charges if I had chosen to do so. Anyhow, on both occasions when I asked her that question, she looked down in shame, and answered "Yes, I know that I'm doing evil. GOD has shown me that many times, and I know that I need to change."

Please notice that she said that GOD had shown her that many times, and he had. In other words, as I've testified here before, there were many different occasions when my ex came to me and told me what GOD had shown her in a dream, or in a vision, or what he had directly spoken to her, and I knew that it truly was GOD who was showing her and telling her these things. Again, one way in which Christ shows his love for the church is via "the washing of water by the word" or by correcting us for our own good that we might be sanctified unto true holiness before him.

Now, here is my question:

Women, what would/do you think of a man who would seek to wash YOU with the water of the word as your husband if the situation warranted it?

Let me qualify my question by emphatically stating that I know that there are A LOT of horrible men out there, and that includes many men who profess to be Christians. In other words, there are many men who will totally ABUSE portions of scripture like this one now being considered while turning it into some sort of justifiable excuse to DOMINATE OR ABUSE A WOMAN/THEIR WIFE. I've personally met more than my fair share of these types of men, some of them right here on this website, and I've regularly stood them to the face or rebuked them for their MISUSE of such passages of scripture as this one.

That said and meant, a true Christian man is going to truly care for his wife's soul, and there are inevitably going to be times when he's going to have to say something in a sort of corrective or sanctifying manner in order to potentially help you BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES YOU AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH.

Would this offend/anger you?

I've seen plenty of women who are appalled at even such a suggestion as their husband seeking to help them in their sanctification process, and, again, that includes some women right here on this website.

Far from being any sort of "dominator" myself while I was married, my ex was the one who repeatedly tried to dominate and manipulate me. She was an antagonist/brawler extraordinaire, and, during one of her explosive outbursts towards me, she screamed:

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WASH ME WITH WATER!!!"

In her mind, she was referencing what we read in Ephesians chapter 5, but she was totally misrepresenting what was actually said there. In other words, she was (mis-) quoting that as if to say that I should be drawing a bubble bath for her (and I oftentimes did, btw), and not as if I should actually care about her soul and her sanctification process.

Anyhow, when she shouted that at me, God immediately spoke to me, and he told me to ask her the following question:

"Why does something need to be washed?"

She didn't answer.

He told me to then ask her the following question:

"Why does somebody wash their clothes?"

Again, she didn't answer.

He told me to then ask her the following question:

"Why does somebody was a dish?"

Once more, she didn't answer.

Finally, he told me to ask her the following question:

"Why does somebody wash their car?"

Dead silence.

Of course, the correct answer to all of these questions is that something needs to be washed because it is dirty.

Anyhow, my point is that my ex not only hated when Christ himself sought to cleanse her FOR HER OWN GOOD, but she was appalled by the thought of me ever even considering to do the same or of me actually loving her as Christ loves the church.

Being the type of husband that God actually ordains a man to be isn't easy...and part of the reason for that is directly related to how a wife responds to a truly godly man. Again, I'm NOT talking about the aforementioned ABUSIVE JERKS, but I am talking about a Christian man who truly loves and cares for his wife.

Anyhow, if you're a man who is the type of abusive and dominating jerk that I mentioned earlier, then you need to repent.

At the same time, if you're the type of woman who is appalled at even the thought of a godly husband seeking to wash his wife by the water of God's word, or appalled by a husband who would truly seek to love his wife as Christ loves the church, then you need to likewise repent.

For whatever that's worth.

Your ex sounds uh... extremely crazy.

The name 'Jezebel' means 'unhusbanded'. When a woman is unwilling to submit to her husband-- not just because of the influence of others (eg. social media) but because deep within her she sees him as unworthy of her submission and devotion-- that woman is under the influence of (or should I say 'spiritually allied with') 'the Jezebel spirit'. Nothing less.

I never chased women, even before I was 'saved'. I did what I had to, but I didn't chase. I was always 'looking for something more', and I couldn't understand why the boys and men around me were always chasing. High school and then college friends and friends outside of college would talk and complain about women. I had no idea why they cared so much because I didn't have the struggles they had: I never had to spend lavishly on women, pay their rent or bills, or any of the other things guys were struggling with. I kept things simple and shrugged off all the relationship chaos and 'fighting'. However. God cares about this Wall of Enmity between the sexes, and the issue kept coming back to me almost every day. That was when I started to purposefully look at it.

Solomon said, "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman" (Proverbs 21:9). He also said, "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand" (Pro. 27:15-16).

While other factors can be at play, the Wall is the primary reason that women are automatically contentious (which is now also manifesting in unnecessary competitiveness) with men. The Wall is the hidden headquarters of satan, if you will, inside a heterosexual relationship. Until this very legitimate issue is cornered, tackled, arrested, addressed, and prosecuted, heterosexual relationship issues will continue to remain confusing and mysterious. I've personally known two Jezebel ministers who God spoke to. I mentioned one several times before (a pastor's wife in a church in Rochester, NY in 2006). Both of them heard from God, and both of them refused to do what He told them to do if they didn't agree or like it. Their 'submission' to God was like their submission to their husbands (both had pastor husbands by the way): only when it benefited them in some way. So, it isn't strange or uncommon for God to speak to or even minister through wicked people. It's in the Bible (eg. Balaam and Judas Iscariot) and is not meant to confuse you as to who is 'right with God' and who isn't. God speaks to everyone because He wants to save everyone. But some people just don't want to be saved: "I have a few things against you, because you tolerate that woman Jezebel... I gave her time to repent... and she would not" (Revelation 2:20-21).

The fact is that your comment asks questions (without asking questions) that would require several threads to address. There is so much that christans need to talk about, but most christians are spiritually immature and do not want to grow up, so I often see the same topics (or sometimes frivolous topics) being beaten like a dead horse over and over. If spiritual immaturity was an issue back when God was closer in experience to the churches, it's no surprise that it's a much greater issue now:

"Although by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to reteach you the basic principles of God’s word. You need milk, not solid food" (Hebrews5:12).

A lot of christians aren't interested in topics that aren't 'fun' (or whatever)-- not to mention that much of what I'd be writing would be controversial to some people and scandalous to others since much of it would be 'new information'-- so it's often a waste of time to broach such topics. There's a lot more to be said and a lot more to be learned, a lot more to be uncovered and a lot more to be gained.

Witchcraft ran in her family for generations, and that was definitely one factor. In fact, I cast many demons out of her (and her mother) in Jesus' name while we were together. Real demons. Real manifestations. Real deliverances. Real results.

Another factor was that she had been sexually molested by her own father repeatedly between the ages of 5 and 6 years old, and that obviously caused a lot of psychological damage to her. I did everything in my power and beyond my power to help her.

The ultimate factor was simply her own free will. Again, God himself was showing her what the Christian life is really all about, and she simply saw the cost as being too high.

Well, I don't know if you see me as one of them or not, and, quite frankly, it doesn't matter to me either way.

I'm no dummy, and I'm well-informed/well-versed, by the grace of God, on a whole host of topics.

That I can tell you for sure.

Not in a boastful way, but, again, I'm no dummy.

If you don't believe me, then just ask Satan.

In a very real sense, I've lost respect for Satan as my adversary.

I mean, with all of our past battles behind us, you'd think that he'd know my actual weak spots by now.

Instead, he comes at me with pretentious people who literally are an insult to my intelligence.

I don't know.

Maybe he has dementia or something...

Live for him, want examples?? You got it!!(Matt 14:14-21) next Matt 15:22-28 Mark 6:34-42 and so many others!! These are just some examples of love being poured out to the people. Man,well those believers preform the same acts today. I in Christ Jesus have shown as many as you have the very same kind of love, so I do not understand your mindset on this. If your methods were correct, you would not have lost your wife, you cannot make them slaves! Not being mean here, but why promote a failing mindset??? But ok.

[citation needed]

Seriously... Where DO you get all these "facts?"

Who said anything about making anybody slaves?

Certainly not me, so don't waste your time trying to pin that "failing mindset" on me. In reality, those types of thoughts have never even entered into my mind.