When Does the Man or the Woman Pay on Dates?

The question is actually a little more complex and can also be: What are the best rules around who pays on dates and outings?

I think there are ways to work out who pays on dates and outings and how it all works out-- ways that are fair and agreeable, at least most of the time, to both parties. What are your thoughts?

If I ask the man out, I definitely pay. For instance, if I ask a guy to go to a theme park with me, which I've been known to do, I will insist on at least paying for his ticket and am fully prepared to pay for everything. I do very much appreciate it though if he offers to help with gas and food.

If the man asks me out, I always offer to pay my own way. I like a bit of old-fashioned chivalry if he insists on paying, but that also means I would definitely pay the next time we went out.

If he's spent a lot of time during the date talking about women who have used him for money, I pay for both of us because I don't want to be "just another gold-digger" to him. But I also usually don't go on a second date because I can't change his mind about how he sees women if he believes that's how all or most women are.

These days, more often than not, I just pay for both of us up front, no matter who asked, just to save any hassles and also to hopefully be a blessing to the gentleman.

wots a date?

Haven't seen wisebeardman in some time, so SOMEBODY had to do it. And it's true for me.

To me it is on the one who asks.

But always a gentleman move (if you have money) to offer to pay.

If you have no money and not sure who is paying then just communicate the fact that you are short on cash and offer to do something that doesn't cost anything.

She will either be up to that or may offer to pay. If she offers then go ahead.

This thread topic comes up a lot. Every time it does, a song runs through my head:

If her daddy's rich
Take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor
Just do what you feel

There are no "rules".

However, in some subcultures, people expect that the man pays for the dates (even all of them), but that's a cultural expectation, not a rule. Personally, I think that's silly in a time when most women earn their own living and often make more than the men.

It is a gentleman"s act to pay for your date if you are a man... I don't think it is cultural... I dated an American and he paid for our dates.... He didn't ask not even once to split the bill 😊 although I don't mind if he'll ask me...


But here's the thing...it is quite a turn off if you are dating a very calculative guy... 😁



I am a Filipino and I don't wait for men to pay for me...but I appreciate those who offer and I admire those kind of men 1000 handsome points 😊



Most women will understand if you can't afford that much or if you don't have money at the moment 😊 most of them will be happy to pay for you 😊

If someone asks you out on a date that kinda implies they can afford to pay for two meals And women can easily pay and should with the whole gender equality thang. Hey if youd like to go movies but you just started your new job? You pay for the tickets and I will get the snacks

its something thats negotiable
Because of transport and parking costs, who is driving, and whether you can afford it.

I think the best thing would be if a third party paid or it was free lol. Then those that get to go can just enjoy themselves without worrying about all this.

Set up a dating fund in your church
the first 3 dates are free lol.

If by then you havent sorted it out well at least you enjoyed 3 free dates.

If it's the first date, which I imagine the man proposed, the man usually pays and the woman should graciously let him because it will validate him and make him feel valued. Subsequent dates can be paid for which ever way they see fit or agree to. I would usually say I can only come on the second/third date if he would let me buy............................drinks/meal/tickets etc.