Believe it or not, you are a Romantic!

Not all of us are "Hopeless Romantics" but I firmly believe that everyone has some romantic force within them that can appeal to someone(s) at one point in time or another. Being romantic comes naturally to some, while others have to work at it or discover it. So against the backdrop of Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages", lets get in touch with our romantic side and explore the special things that we might do for that special someone that says 'I care'. Hopefully, this will help reveal a thing or two about our softer sides, as we get to know each other a bit more.

For the benefit of anyone who might not be familiar with the 5 love languages that he (Gary Chapman) stated, they are:

• Words of Affirmation (e.g. kind words and encouragement, uplifting quotes, love notes, poems and cute text messages)
• Quality Time (e.g. putting down the cell phone, turning off the computer, making eye contact, and actively listening.
• Physical Touch ( e.g. holding their hands, touches their arm, giving massages, cuddling)
• Acts of Service (e.g. helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, putting gas in the car, shopping)
• Receiving Gifts ( gift-giving indicates love and affection. The gift may not necessarily be expensive items but it's the time and effort the gift-giver put into it).

*Please Note: There are no specific rules or limits to how many of these may be used as reference for any romantic moments you may choose to share.

Physical touch is the foremost love language for me. Here's one of the favorite things I do to make my partner feel loved and special. Once in a while when we go for a romantic dinner, I would excuse myself to the 'ladies' and upon my return I will walk up behind his chair and then slowly and gently tilt his head backwards and give him a light peck on the lips that I let linger for a good few seconds, followed by a warm and reassuring smile before I take my seat back.

Hoping for some interesting recounts of romantic gestures, so please join in for a bit of a light-hearted encounter.

Is this the same Gary Chapman who made albums that are in my music collection?

Also... No, I am not a romantic.

Just ask the people who endured my presence at the meet-up last April.

I think it needs to be said that these can also be used in non romantic relationships eg your kids, parents, friends, the milkman....

thanks for reminding us of the 5 love languages.

You're thinking of the guy who was Amy Grant's first husband, and no, it's not him (born 1957)
(that is, unless of course the music world has ANOTHER Gary Chapman, and you're thinking of him...... dunno, but this one is who I think you mean)

The 5 love languages author that op is talking about was born in 1938.

BIG difference between the 2.

Gary Chapman wrote a series and theres one for children, one for singles, one for teenagers, one for men, and one for workplaces

I dont think you need to read the couple version if you not a couple. Read the singles edition.

Absolutely! The milkman?? I don't know ............................(lol)

we dont get milk delivered but you can just show love to the sharemilkers by words of affirmootion

I have to slightly contest this statement. (Of course, how can I NOT contest most of what Lynx says!)

I would say that Lynx's Love Language is definitely Acts of Service. He spent a good amount of at the meetup in the kitchen making enough food for 2 armies -- and he really did seem to enjoy it. Even if he did swipe someone's loaf of Low-Carb bread by accident to make French toast when there were 4 other loaves available.

But Lynx's gig is definitely always trying to think of ways to help. One of the reasons he prefers to drive to meetups is so that there is a vehicle ready if anyone wants to see something in particular or needs to go somewhere. He will be more than happy to volunteer to drive you to or from the airport. He will cram half his house into his vehicle and bring it along if he thinks something will come in handy or make someone more comfortable.

Several years ago, I was working overnights and had a stretch where I was so sick I could barely stand without copious amounts of Tylenol (this was years before The Rona hit.) Lynx told me I should stay home, but I told him there was no one else to do what I was assigned to do and I couldn't put the whole crew behind, so I went in anyway. Lynx left me voice texts continuously throughout the night to help keep me going. We were in different time zones so fortunately HE didn't have to stay up all night, but whenever I was able to take a pause at work, there was a always a message to help keep me going.

He is also ALWAYS offering to help tech illiterate people I won't name (ME!!! Cough, cough) whether it's figuring out how to use your device or choosing the device from scratch. This is kind of his specialty. I've been in a few chats with him and can testify that he has literally helped dozens of people find phones and laptops specifically for their needs (no overpaying for features they wouldn't use,) while teaching them how to use them.

Lynx lives to serve.

And while he might not be specifically looking to meet anyone under the mistletoe, I know he would surely bring some along if he thought it would help somebody else.

Humph. Fat lot of good that did. Recalcitrant, worn out, stupid shocks...

And that has nothing to do with being a romantic, so my claim to be innocent of that charge still stands.

lucky milkman.. hmmm maybe me next job lol

Excellent report, Seoul! So very typical of you to never pass up on an opportunity to lift others up. Y'all must have had a 'grand old time.' Sounds like Lynx is a whole lot more than the cat that pops up on threads, every now and again. Romantic or not, true and real friendships are possible from this forum and that, in itself, is a blessing.

I think believers can just use all five of them especally in ministry because you when you dealing with hundreds of people every day, you not going to ask them 'whats your love langauge' but you still want to show each and every one that they are special and that you care.

I will give a few examples from my library. This is how a librarian shows love. And not just have a 'romance' section...cos I dont, I work in a school library.

words of affirmation - well this is the biggie in the library as there are words EVERYWHERE but you want each and every transaction to be kind, service with a smile. I now have a stamp that says Happy reading on it and I let the book lovers write on the windows and whiteboard what they like about the library

quality time - if you cant make it to the library for a session, the library can come to you. I have a timetable for outreach where go to classes and read with children. If I had more hours or got paid more, I could do this 5 days a week instead of 4. I dont ever let the phone interrupt a reading session (I dont even use my phone in the library) each child who wants to read with me never gets turned away

physical touch- books are tactile objects, we handle them carefully. I cover all of them. we have cushions and bean bags in the library because reading is a comforting activity. I also have a few sensory toys for children to play with and ...PUPPETS. also I get lot of hugs from the little people --- !

acts of service - childen can show love by tidying the library and being library monitors. I train children to be of service to others, as that is the heart of what a librarian does.

recieivng gifts - borrowers vould recieve prizes when they borrow a winning book. Even teachers get a thrill when they found out they won something. With the more 'greedy kids' if they win too many I just suggest they give their bounty away and make others happy. they love having something to give. They are just little gifts though nothing too extravagant, like stickers or a pot of slime. And also, duplicate copies of books of course. we get a lot of donations

I think a lot of believers need to find a ministry or do what God is calling them to do and especially singles need to look at how they show love in the good work God has ordained them and prepared for them to do.

5 love languages is a tool that can be applied in those situations too. Although i have read the one for children but I havent bought it for the school as i thought it was a bit too american and geared towards parents only. Also the original one I thought was a bit like ok, easy if you may speak the same language but which one do you decide to speak if you have different ones. Why not speak them all and mix it up. Be bilingual. or multilingual (english is one of thos languages that borrows from MANY languages...on some aspects its like a cannibal langauge lol)

though the main one I tend to gravitate towards is 'quality time'. I think with this one you must show that you are not in a rush but make that time special, like every second counts. Every second you read counts towards a greater understanding. Life might be too short to waste on bad books or junk tv. and enjoy that time you have with books because...with tight schedules and timetables that time is precious.

Nonsense. There is a preacher I like more than most on youtube he is country preacher out of Knoxville by the name of Charles Lawson. One of the things he said that really sunk in and find he has some wisdom in the words he said. He said if you don't understand what someone is saying or they make it complex or complicated. He said be sure they are making money off of it.

That is the case here for one romance does not mean the things that we are told by this world. Romance means Roman like. Has to do with the passions, attitudes, appetites, language, and such. Derived of course from a time that Rome was the worlds super power and had the heaviest influence upon the world and it's culture and attitudes.

Romance is also defined as a love affair a passionate, way intense affair that does not last but it is short lived. For one we would have to say that is not what folks are truly looking for but something lasting.

I would say that this 5 languages of love is nonsense is only one language of love it is God. In the beginning we were created in the image of God. His image is love in fact God uses that word to define who he is and more importantly what we would define as personality. God describes for us in the bible how that is his personality, his nature, his being.

So there is only one love language. Now there are aspects of love such as there are aspects of our personality. God defines these for us in the bible. I Cor 13 is one, John 3:16 another, For God so loved the world he gave. So we can absolutely say that when we love we give we can't help it. Because love is God's nature and personality and he has defined it since it is him. He has define it as love gives as God is love and he gives.

In fact when we read the word love we can replace it with God. Love is not puffed up, let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who humbled himself and took upon him the form of a servant and became obedient unto the cross. In fact our redemption, reconciliation, salvation and such in simple terms is fixing what is broken. We were made in the image of God. We were made to imitate him to image him the bible contains this language. Bible calls us ambassadors, servants, those are words to note that you image or represent some one else represent a kingdom that has a king.

We were created in the image of God to represent him to operate as he does. We fell, Christ has come to fix that and return us to what he created us to be to image, to represent, to operate in his image. Again the bible contains such language, follow me as I follow Christ, let this mind be in you, we are dead to the flesh but alive unto the spirit, be made over after Christ. The bible contains this language and is God's plan to fix his broken creation and again have it in his image operating and representing him.

Man makes things that are simple such as love, which is only one language into the complex such as it is 5 languages to show how wise they are then to sell you their program or book. Like Lawson said if it is complex or complicated be sure someone is making money off of it.

Romance in our modern terms I would say is affirmation plain and simple. I think woman love romance for that reason it is daily affirmation. Women in my experience really have no problem with if you love you give. Time and again I have seen gals when they go shopping for example. They will go out to get themselves something. They will walk by the clothing rack for children and even though they had no intention that day to buy something as such. They will buy so, reason being is that child is on there mind and they buy cause of need or to bless. It is out and out love, plain and simple.

Same thing concerning a man in their life same scenario they are going for themselves pass by a sports team shirt and think my man loves this team and buys it for him. Reason being he is on her mind and what she sees reminds her of him as he is already on her mind. Women do this in so many ways daily and without real thought of the process they just love and a certain person is on their mind so they get something to give them cause they love them. Because love gives it can't help but do so because love is God's personality and so it has to operate as he doe because it is him.

So with that said I find romance as we use it today as nothing more than affirmation for a gal. Cause she knows how her day is filled in thought of her love for a person in this case her man. So she likes affirmation to just show her she is loved as much as she loves. Which I do agree that as a man it is hard to out love a woman cause every affirmation I give just makes her fall deeper in love and the deeper she falls the more I am on her mind and the more she gives in every way with the most important being her respect which as a man I need and crave the most.

So I find affirmation or we will use the word romance frees her because she is secure and that security breaks down walls so she can give more and just blow my mind to the extent that God has placed that nature of him inside of her. In the end as a example a daily example of using her to show how much more he loves me cause she is but in his image but he is the very image he is love it is his very personality and nature and is greater than us and our imaging of him.

So I find saying love is more than simply God and his very nature and to make it more than what it is to come across as wisdom, is foolish as love is God and the sum total of his personality as he has defined himself as such. God needs no formula as he is just him and man likes to make it a formula, a book something he can make himself look wise while he makes a buck. Which is nonsense. The more we become like God and image him the more we will love as it is who he is and when we are like him we can't help but be like he is. The best way to give and show love or to be romantic is to become more like God as we will love more and of course affirm more that we do in fact love. The more of him we become the more like him we will reflect him.

God is light, which he then describes us as a candle not to be hidden because we reflect him and the more we become like him the more we image and the process of fixing what is is broken so we are made over into what we were created to be a image a refection of him and his majesty for his glory.

In closing let me say that this is no indictment of the author Chapman as I have no clue who he is, is more a indictment against academia as a whole to take concepts and make them a formula to sell their wares and to do so to be applauded for their wisdom. However, do find it nonsense for him to say love is 5 languages when love is a person and who he is, his personality as he has defined his personality.

I dont think words of affirmation are what women crave when its really Jesus being the WORD that counts.
Flattery becomes totally insincere when its done too much and as a means to an end.

Surprising when it stops after someone has got what they want. God only really wants our thanksgiving.

As for Rome. havent been but I guess when in Rome you do what the Romans do. Or you could just read the Book of Romans. Which has several pieces of advice for a new believer although the LOVE chapter is actually in Corinthians.

The other treatise on love is in 1 John.

The 5 love languages book has sold very well though along with the Boundaries book series in christian bookshops. I just think books like those are kinda hybrids for people who cant handle a lot of scripture all the time. When I read the stuff about touch its like all the men go 'oooh thats my love langauge cos I cant keep my hands to myself' Even though the Bible says its good NOT to touch a woman lol

You get a milkman where you are?

Well, I guess this only proves that people show different faces depending on the venue.

1 John 4:8b~ God is Love

Wow. You're making a reptile pensive...

Actually the converse seems to be one of my hallmarks. People keep commenting that I'm always the same, that I never change.

Some of the people who have made the comment are on the forum. You may know them.