About rules on Christian dating

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
I would not be able to date in this world. I do not envy the youngsters of this age. Right now at 49 years old if I found myself single, I doubt I would be interested in starting from scratch with someone. The prospect of that is horrifying. It would be like shopping a salvage yard for the least damaged car. She would be doing the same. Isnt that a picture of desperation? Nah, thats hopeless. I would just go fishing instead.
Amen, brother.

Amen.

Living in the last days, for sure.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
I would never want to be the one to decide. I could never have peace being in a situation that was not completely of the Lord's careful planning and making. I would never seek a divorce. I would always blame myself for not seeking God's perfect will.

Psalms 127:1

“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”

.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
Think about where Solomon went before you follow his path.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
.



Below is a popular proof text.

1Cor 6:9-11a . . Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the
kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators . . . nor adulterers
. . . will inherit the kingdom of God;


Is that saying repeat offenders are lost? No; it's only saying that because
fornication and adultery are hell-worthy, then it goes without saying that
those practices are conduct unbecoming for folks who've undergone the
remainder of that passage which says:


"And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were
sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the
Spirit of our God." (1Cor 6:11b)


The Greek word translated "justified" can be roughly understood to indicate
that on the books, it's as though someone has never been anything but
100% innocent their entire life.


Here's something:

Matt 5:7 . . Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Not everyone is capable of feeling compassion, empathy, or sympathy. Most
can fake it, but not everyone can feel it due to a dysfunctional childhood,
military training, or faulty amygdalae, etc. Will the stone-hearted be lost?
Some will; but not those who are were washed, sanctified, and justified in
the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.


Rom 8:2 . Through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free
from the law of sin and death.


Here's another something:

Rev 21:8 . . All liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and
brimstone, which is the second death.


I sure hope you don't expect your peers to believe that you your own self
are capable of finishing out the remainder of your life 100% honest; viz:
zero deceit, zero deception, zero pretense, zero dissembling, zero cheating,
zero fraud, zero craftiness, zero insincerity, zero false impressions, zero
hypocrisy, zero fibs, zero tale-spinning, etc.


* An apparently little known fact among Christians is that when folks buy
into Jesus' crucifixion for their sins, and the return to life of his crucified
dead body; that's when God stops keeping a running account of their hell
worthy deeds.


2Cor 5:19 . . God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not
imputing their trespasses unto them.


The Greek word in that passage for "imputing" is logizomai (log-id'-zom
ahee) which means to keep an inventory; in other words: an indictment.


From that moment on, all sins committed by Christ's followers cease to go
on record as evidence to be held against them and become family matters
dealt with in the home rather than criminal matters to be dealt with in court.
_
Paul was telling them not to be deceived into thinking it was ok to commit fornication with temple prostitutes.
And he extends the point to any other kind of fleshly lusts that they used to do before they got saved but they don't do anymore.

He is reminding them that if they listen to these deceivers and practice fornication with the temple prostitutes they will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

He is discussing "what if they did that and then they repented and planned to never do it again." He is not saying that they won't be restored. That is not even the point.

He is saying if they live in the deception that they can do these things (not repent) and still be saved they will not be.

And I am glad it is in the Bible because God knew we would be dealing with this lie as we do today.

If you ask two young people who claim to be Christian why they are living together in fornication they will say that it is not fornication and they will give you their various reasons why. If you ask them if they think they are still saved they will give you a teaching that was told them using scriptures misapplied as to why they believe they are still going to inherit the kingdom of heaven.

If you ask someone who claims to be a Christian who was sober for years after getting saved and then started drinking again why they drink a 12 pack of beer on Saturday they will tell you an unconvincing reason why they don't get drunk and therefore are not guilty of being a drunkard.

What is all this? DECEPTION. So Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit told the Corinthians and all other churches and believers that would come after that "BROTHERS don't be deceived" because those who fall to this deception and stay in it will wake up in hell with eternal regret.

There is no one telling Christians who fall into a sin that they can't be saved, or can't find true repentance and restoration. That is not any kind of wide spread deception we are having to combat today.

We are combating the same lie that Paul did today. Everywhere people are saying "I can't be lost" while fornicating and getting drunk among other things. This is the same deception Paul combated and we can use this same scripture to help the deceived or those about to fall to stop themselves and not indulge in the old sins thinking that "after all, I can't be lost"

I realize that it is very likely that many who do this are not saved yet. But I also know that many who are saved are under attack to indulge and telling them that it is no big deal is not what Paul said. He said DON"T BE DECEIVE, if you do these things you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. Which is a must better word of advice to give people.

My version "you might wake up in hell with eternal regret" because you were lying to yourself thinking God would overlook willful presumption when all the while the Word is clear on this matter. BE NOT DECEIVED.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
Paul was telling them not to be deceived into thinking it was ok to commit fornication with temple prostitutes.
And he extends the point to any other kind of fleshly lusts that they used to do before they got saved but they don't do anymore.

He is reminding them that if they listen to these deceivers and practice fornication with the temple prostitutes they will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

He is discussing "what if they did that and then they repented and planned to never do it again." He is not saying that they won't be restored. That is not even the point.

He is saying if they live in the deception that they can do these things (not repent) and still be saved they will not be.

And I am glad it is in the Bible because God knew we would be dealing with this lie as we do today.

If you ask two young people who claim to be Christian why they are living together in fornication they will say that it is not fornication and they will give you their various reasons why. If you ask them if they think they are still saved they will give you a teaching that was told them using scriptures misapplied as to why they believe they are still going to inherit the kingdom of heaven.

If you ask someone who claims to be a Christian who was sober for years after getting saved and then started drinking again why they drink a 12 pack of beer on Saturday they will tell you an unconvincing reason why they don't get drunk and therefore are not guilty of being a drunkard.

What is all this? DECEPTION. So Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit told the Corinthians and all other churches and believers that would come after that "BROTHERS don't be deceived" because those who fall to this deception and stay in it will wake up in hell with eternal regret.

There is no one telling Christians who fall into a sin that they can't be saved, or can't find true repentance and restoration. That is not any kind of wide spread deception we are having to combat today.

We are combating the same lie that Paul did today. Everywhere people are saying "I can't be lost" while fornicating and getting drunk among other things. This is the same deception Paul combated and we can use this same scripture to help the deceived or those about to fall to stop themselves and not indulge in the old sins thinking that "after all, I can't be lost"

I realize that it is very likely that many who do this are not saved yet. But I also know that many who are saved are under attack to indulge and telling them that it is no big deal is not what Paul said. He said DON"T BE DECEIVE, if you do these things you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. Which is a must better word of advice to give people.

My version "you might wake up in hell with eternal regret" because you were lying to yourself thinking God would overlook willful presumption when all the while the Word is clear on this matter. BE NOT DECEIVED.
Paul was very clear on this, they way to avoid it is to get married young. Your desires for bonding are much stronger when you're young, in your 20's. That is why in Jesus time people got married in their teens. It wasn't because their life times were shorter. Paul is very clear, it's control the sex drive.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
Don't believe the lie that people in the time of Jesus got married young because they didn't live that long. Paul did not advise people to marry because they might die soon. He told them "It is better to marry than to burn" He was very clear you marry to stop the fornication. Will it work in every case? Of course not. But it will make a difference to most.
 

Webers.Home

Well-known member
May 28, 2018
5,777
1,067
113
Oregon
cfbac.org
.
Gen 2:18 . .The Lord God said: It's not good for Adam to be solitary; I will
make a fitting helper for him.

The Hebrew word translated "helper" is from 'ezer (ay'-zer) which means:
aid.

Note that aid isn't spelled with an "e" as in aide; so that Eve wasn't meant to
be the man's Girl Friday, rather; someone to strengthen him. In other
words: woman's true role is a supporting role rather than a leading role; i.e.
domineering women are out of sync with humanity's creator. The same goes
for masculine women-- so called strong women.

In making a statement like Gen 2:18; God made it very clear right from the
beginning that human beings were not intended to live a celibate life. If male
human life was packaged in a box of software, one of its system
requirements would be Female Companion.

Woman's potential for companionship is the primary reason that God made
her— not for her sensual appeal nor for her reproductive value; no, for a
man's companionship; which is commonly expressed by cordiality,
friendliness, friendship, goodwill, kindness, civility, concord, harmony,
rapport, charity, generosity, compassion, empathy, sympathy, chumminess,
intimacy, affection, devotion, loyalty, fondness, and love.

From all that, I think we can safely conclude that a woman who tears her
man down instead of building him up is a broken woman; i.e. maladjusted.

* In Dr. Laura's book "Ten Stupid Things That Men Do To Mess Up Their
Lives" she lists trying to fix a broken woman. Well; if the girl that a guy is
thinking about marrying needs repairs, then I strongly suggest that he keep
looking, i.e. get out now; while he still can.
_
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
.
Gen 2:18 . .The Lord God said: It's not good for Adam to be solitary; I will
make a fitting helper for him.


The Hebrew word translated "helper" is from 'ezer (ay'-zer) which means:
aid.


Note that aid isn't spelled with an "e" as in aide; so that Eve wasn't meant to
be the man's Girl Friday, rather; someone to strengthen him. In other
words: woman's true role is a supporting role rather than a leading role; i.e.
domineering women are out of sync with humanity's creator. The same goes
for masculine women-- so called strong women.


In making a statement like Gen 2:18; God made it very clear right from the
beginning that human beings were not intended to live a celibate life. If male
human life was packaged in a box of software, one of its system
requirements would be Female Companion.


Woman's potential for companionship is the primary reason that God made
her— not for her sensual appeal nor for her reproductive value; no, for a
man's companionship; which is commonly expressed by cordiality,
friendliness, friendship, goodwill, kindness, civility, concord, harmony,
rapport, charity, generosity, compassion, empathy, sympathy, chumminess,
intimacy, affection, devotion, loyalty, fondness, and love.


From all that, I think we can safely conclude that a woman who tears her
man down instead of building him up is a broken woman; i.e. maladjusted.


* In Dr. Laura's book "Ten Stupid Things That Men Do To Mess Up Their
Lives" she lists trying to fix a broken woman. Well; if the girl that a guy is
thinking about marrying needs repairs, then I strongly suggest that he keep
looking, i.e. get out now; while he still can.
_
First Corinthians 7:8–9 says, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Paul addresses the distinction between the married and the unmarried and states that sexual fulfillment is a primary reason for marriage: “Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” Marriage is God’s plan for the fulfilment of sexual desires, and any sexual expression outside of marriage is sin
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
not sure what the problem is.
are you not advising couples to marry in your church, I think for many, marriage is too expensive and that is why they fornicate. (used to be called living in sin) although christians would probably just fornicate with one person only, not several.

Not sure what the solution may be other than make it easier for couples to marry each other? Or at least get their own room/bed
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
not sure what the problem is.
are you not advising couples to marry in your church, I think for many, marriage is too expensive and that is why they fornicate. (used to be called living in sin) although christians would probably just fornicate with one person only, not several.

Not sure what the solution may be other than make it easier for couples to marry each other? Or at least get their own room/bed
I think churches should push marriage to slow down fornication. Instead they push this purity before marriage, that Paul and Jesus never pushed. Both of them talked about marriage to control fornication. Just make sure the person you marry has the same drive as you.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,543
17,020
113
69
Tennessee
not sure what the problem is.
are you not advising couples to marry in your church, I think for many, marriage is too expensive and that is why they fornicate. (used to be called living in sin) although christians would probably just fornicate with one person only, not several.

Not sure what the solution may be other than make it easier for couples to marry each other? Or at least get their own room/bed
I got married in Las Vegas at the cost of $60 for the marriage license. Why would marriage be too expensive?
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
I got married in Las Vegas at the cost of $60 for the marriage license. Why would marriage be too expensive?
I got married on a JP carport for about the same price, and we are still to this day married. We were young and didnt have much money.
If ya have a good church family they will help ya have an actual wedding in the church for little to nothing.
 
Jul 14, 2019
214
122
43
It's good to have rules to flee fornication. Those who love God keep themselves. We always had the third party rule, where you had to have a friend with you. It's too tempting to sin if you are alone.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
Have you noticed it's mostly married people pushing the dating rules on singles. They pust rules they never followed. They're married, enjoying each other, yet telling singles YOU have to stay pure. No touching, no one on one dating. They talk about putting Jesus first, when you're single. I tell them, I guess Jesus wasn't enough for you, you got married.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
It's good to have rules to flee fornication. Those who love God keep themselves. We always had the third party rule, where you had to have a friend with you. It's too tempting to sin if you are alone.
You cannot really know the person if you don't date one on one. No third party when going to dinner and a movie. If you cannot control yourself in those situations, get married.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I think churches should push marriage to slow down fornication. Instead they push this purity before marriage, that Paul and Jesus never pushed. Both of them talked about marriage to control fornication. Just make sure the person you marry has the same drive as you.
do they?

I dont know, maybe its only in america. How old do you need to be married in the US? Girls usually statrt menstruating round 9-14 years old. So they can start having babies then but its not advisable. Boys into men sort of develop around 13 years old.

You want these young adults marrying as soon as they start fornicating?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,543
17,020
113
69
Tennessee
I got married on a JP carport for about the same price, and we are still to this day married. We were young and didnt have much money.
If ya have a good church family they will help ya have an actual wedding in the church for little to nothing.
Absolutely, by all means take advantage of any resources available. Actually, the process of getting married is only as expensive as you allow it to be. The real expense is setting up the household. Even if you decide to forego the marriage and live together instead you will still have the same expenses. Without commitment the relationship will probably eventually deteriorate leaving broken lives in the process. By commitment, I mean a life-long commitment. Do not enter into a marriage with the idea that you can simply get a divorce if things don't work out.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
It's good to have rules to flee fornication. Those who love God keep themselves. We always had the third party rule, where you had to have a friend with you. It's too tempting to sin if you are alone.
Initially or if you are a teen, but a relationship must develope so after a few dates with friends you have alone dates. I don't recommend movies because you don't talk, but dinner, hobbies, festivals (like ren fest) those carnivals with the ferris wheels and such. Do the things she or he likes to do. Its gonna get rough if she dont like fishing but you do. Or horses or what ever.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,543
17,020
113
69
Tennessee
Initially or if you are a teen, but a relationship must develope so after a few dates with friends you have alone dates. I don't recommend movies because you don't talk, but dinner, hobbies, festivals (like ren fest) those carnivals with the ferris wheels and such. Do the things she or he likes to do. Its gonna get rough if she dont like fishing but you do. Or horses or what ever.
I used to go on dates to drive-in movies but unfortunately, there are not many of those left. Brings back many memories. Even going to a movie you can still put your arm around her and share the popcorn and Pepsi. Two straws, one cup. More intimate that way.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
After about 3 or 4 group dates its time for one on one. Participating in each others pastimes and hobbies is essential. Spending quality time with them one on one is essential and that can be done with out sinning.