"Finding the right one" - MEH... Wrong Question?

Most of humanity ask ourselves "is he/she the right one for me?" or "when will I meet the right one?".
I believe the mature Christian should be asking "am I the right one for him/her" or "am I ready to be the right one".

If we can go into the dating scene, and life in general, asking the latter, I believe our focus will be in right place.

Curious what other think.

I think you need to start with a Christian having your same beliefs. For example, having a home church, join some groups and mingle. I would pray first, of course, so the Holy Spirit can guide and see if there is that special chemistry with another there.
I know this is very basic, but it can be applied anywhere.

More times than not, I'm thinking I'm not good enough, or have too many problems to marry. 🤷‍♂️

Not all people think about this..most Christians are thinking of getting right with God before anyone else. Thats certainly true for any new believer.

For me it's even more basic. "Do I really NEED the right one right now? Does she really need me?"

I'm real big on understanding why I do something. If I go looking for a date because I think I need to find someone, that turns love into a commodities market.

Like any self respecting feline, I would rather curl up in a tree and take a nap and wait to see what happens in life. I may have a girlfriend tomorrow. I may not meet her for another twenty years. But we'll see what happens.

God said "it is not good for man to be alone" HE made it plain.
Sure, some are given the gift of celibacy, but alas, I am certainly not such a one.
That said, you are 100% correct in that thinking you need find someone is putting carriage before the horse. And while God uses all things for our good, I am choosing to put HIM and HIS work within me, and then through me, at the forefront.

I think the right one would be a wife that encourages me to grow in my love for God.

The right one for me would be somebody who likes cold temperatures.

I don't like it very cold myself, but I decided long ago that I would rather be cold and wear a coat than be hot and not have any remedy.

Alternatively the right one for me would be someone who likes warmer temperatures, but is willing to wear a coat.

That one would be a keeper for sure.

There is compromise in most relationships.

Well... There IS a third possibility, but it is a very distant third possibility: a woman who prefers warmer temperatures but does not mind at all if I walk around the house bare butt naked all the time.

Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen.

Another option, in the spirit of compromise, she would join you.

its a vice versa both as you grow in love with God all the more you gets closer to each other🙏

Well spoken bro. Totally agree.

I believe the "mature" Christian should not have an either/or attitude about it.
It seems to me being one sided, on either side, lacks wisdom.
A person eager to be a "good spouse" and thinking of what they have to offer will often lack foresight into who they marry and risk ending up with a user, or even an abuser.
The person focused on what they get out of a spouse is the one using the first type.

Rather a person needs to be balanced in knowing what they have to offer, as well as knowing what they want/don't want/to be careful of.
A one sided view only reveals half the picture.