"Finding the right one" - MEH... Wrong Question?

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HalleluYAH

HalleluYAH

New member
#1
Sep 21, 2022
17
12
3
#1
Most of humanity ask ourselves "is he/she the right one for me?" or "when will I meet the right one?".
I believe the mature Christian should be asking "am I the right one for him/her" or "am I ready to be the right one".

If we can go into the dating scene, and life in general, asking the latter, I believe our focus will be in right place.

Curious what other think.
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#2
Oct 23, 2018
13,226
10,760
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#2
I think you need to start with a Christian having your same beliefs. For example, having a home church, join some groups and mingle. I would pray first, of course, so the Holy Spirit can guide and see if there is that special chemistry with another there.
I know this is very basic, but it can be applied anywhere.
 
Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#3
Apr 15, 2019
1,140
775
113
#3
More times than not, I'm thinking I'm not good enough, or have too many problems to marry. 🤷‍♂️
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#4
Not all people think about this..most Christians are thinking of getting right with God before anyone else. Thats certainly true for any new believer.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
27,704
9,636
113
#5
HalleluYAH said:
Most of humanity ask ourselves "is he/she the right one for me?" or "when will I meet the right one?".
I believe the mature Christian should be asking "am I the right one for him/her" or "am I ready to be the right one".

If we can go into the dating scene, and life in general, asking the latter, I believe our focus will be in right place.

Curious what other think.
Click to expand...
For me it's even more basic. "Do I really NEED the right one right now? Does she really need me?"

I'm real big on understanding why I do something. If I go looking for a date because I think I need to find someone, that turns love into a commodities market.

Like any self respecting feline, I would rather curl up in a tree and take a nap and wait to see what happens in life. I may have a girlfriend tomorrow. I may not meet her for another twenty years. But we'll see what happens.
 
HalleluYAH

HalleluYAH

New member
#6
Sep 21, 2022
17
12
3
#6
Lynx said:
For me it's even more basic. "Do I really NEED the right one right now? Does she really need me?"

I'm real big on understanding why I do something. If I go looking for a date because I think I need to find someone, that turns love into a commodities market.

Like any self respecting feline, I would rather curl up in a tree and take a nap and wait to see what happens in life. I may have a girlfriend tomorrow. I may not meet her for another twenty years. But we'll see what happens.
Click to expand...
God said "it is not good for man to be alone" HE made it plain.
Sure, some are given the gift of celibacy, but alas, I am certainly not such a one.
That said, you are 100% correct in that thinking you need find someone is putting carriage before the horse. And while God uses all things for our good, I am choosing to put HIM and HIS work within me, and then through me, at the forefront.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
27,704
9,636
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#8
The right one for me would be somebody who likes cold temperatures.

I don't like it very cold myself, but I decided long ago that I would rather be cold and wear a coat than be hot and not have any remedy.

Alternatively the right one for me would be someone who likes warmer temperatures, but is willing to wear a coat.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,704
9,636
113
#11
tourist said:
There is compromise in most relationships.
Click to expand...
Well... There IS a third possibility, but it is a very distant third possibility: a woman who prefers warmer temperatures but does not mind at all if I walk around the house bare butt naked all the time.

Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#12
Lynx said:
Well... There IS a third possibility, but it is a very distant third possibility: a woman who prefers warmer temperatures but does not mind at all if I walk around the house bare butt naked all the time.

Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen.
Click to expand...
Another option, in the spirit of compromise, she would join you.
 
cv5

cv5

Well-known member
#14
Nov 20, 2018
23,778
8,614
113
#14
HalleluYAH said:
Most of humanity ask ourselves "is he/she the right one for me?" or "when will I meet the right one?".
I believe the mature Christian should be asking "am I the right one for him/her" or "am I ready to be the right one".

If we can go into the dating scene, and life in general, asking the latter, I believe our focus will be in right place.

Curious what other think.
Click to expand...
Well spoken bro. Totally agree.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#15
Sep 17, 2018
4,094
3,196
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#15
I believe the "mature" Christian should not have an either/or attitude about it.
It seems to me being one sided, on either side, lacks wisdom.
A person eager to be a "good spouse" and thinking of what they have to offer will often lack foresight into who they marry and risk ending up with a user, or even an abuser.
The person focused on what they get out of a spouse is the one using the first type.

Rather a person needs to be balanced in knowing what they have to offer, as well as knowing what they want/don't want/to be careful of.
A one sided view only reveals half the picture.
 
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