Women, women, women....

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Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,773
2,326
113
Mesa, AZ
#81
This is true - everyone has a choice... Hey the current Bachelor was a college & professional football player and is still a virgin...
Turns out in addition to how the male brain is wired (mental frequency of sex thoughts) there is also a physiological aspect as well (see below)...

Here is a study that debunked the old myth that men think about sex every 8 seconds, but it maintains that men do still think about sex more frequently than women...
So while on a case by case basis both sexes might have the same equitable choice to resist each individual sexual opportunity; but I guess the rationale could be made that men may have the added burden of having to say no to their more frequent occurrences of temptation that tend to crop up in their brains...

How Often Do Men and Women Think about Sex?
"We found that the median number of sexual thoughts for men was 18.6 and for women it was 9.9. In contrast, the average for men was 34.2 and for women it was 18.6. Statistical tests indicated that the number of thoughts about sex was not statistically larger than the number of thoughts about food and sleep. Men had more thoughts about all three of those areas than did women. These findings paint a rather different picture of men than does the urban legend of thinking about sex many times per minute. The typical men in this sample were thinking about sex once or twice an hour, and statistically no more and no less than they were thinking about eating or sleeping."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...12/how-often-do-men-and-women-think-about-sex

Why is sexual temptation a bigger problem for men than for women?
Physiologically, men typically have a much stronger sex drive than women. Men naturally think about sex more often and desire sex more frequently than women do. Especially when sexual intercourse has not occurred recently, the male body has a greater desire for the release that sex provides. This is then compounded by the fact that men are far more easily stimulated by sight than women are. Simply the sight of an attractive female is sometimes enough to trigger a male’s sex drive. If a sexual thought is not immediately forsaken (with God’s help), it can become a cascading river of sexual temptation, very difficult to resist.
https://www.gotquestions.org/sexual-temptation.html
Ahh...and then we arrive at the topic of taking every thought captive. I pray for help with this frequently. Still, these thoughts eventually get me. If the mind isn't going to do it, the body will.

I am 58 and still... ugh... I just wish God would remove it. Take it away. Kill it. Zap it. Sexual drive is an enemy to the single Christian. It is not a blessing.

Now, some might say, "Well, that's good. It forces you to confront your own weaknesses at self-control." True, it does. But, the same thing can be said about any demonic whispering in the ear.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,773
2,326
113
Mesa, AZ
#82
Well, I don't like to generalize because there are women who struggle tremendously with sexual temptation as well. I don't think I would talk in predator-prey terms because that invokes thoughts of sexual assault. Most guys that struggle with sexual sin are not sexually assaulting anyone.

When anyone, whether man or woman, is dealing with sexual addiction, it means they have basically engaged in some sexual activity often enough and for a long enough period of time that it has formed neuropathways in the brain. When a person orgasms, the pleasure center of the brain is activated, and there is a release of chemicals into the body that make that person feel good. If you do that often enough, the brain will say, "Hey, that felt good, let's make that happen some more," and it doesn't take a lot for a person to be triggered. So when I say neuropathways, think of a dirt road and the way two clear trenches begins to develop as cars drive over it again and again. That sort of thing happens in the brain. The "easy route" then is for the person to keep engaging in sexual activity when the brain triggers them to. It is no different than the way that drug or alcohol addiction works. Both trigger the pleasure center of the brain, both release pleasure chemicals into the body, and so on. That is why it is so hard for a person to break addiction by themselves. When they are triggered, they are basically battling against their brain giving them strong urges to do this thing. But the only way to break addiction is to have a sustained period of sobriety, and even then there is always danger of relapse. It takes a great deal of accountability, self-reflection, counseling, etc.

So that's why when I talk about addiction especially, it really is bondage for the person going through it. They are going through a constant cycle of doing something their brain strongly urges them to do, then strongly regretting it, then over time becoming depressed because of their powerlessness over this monster. I hesitate to say that people struggling with addiction are victims because there are steps they can actively take to fight their addiction, but there are certainly things at play in addiction that they cannot control.

So getting back to the article about sexual freedom that you referenced earlier, having urges to engage in sexual activity is not an inherently bad thing. It's great for those who are married as it's one of the best ways for them to achieve intimacy with their spouse. But when people wander down that road and they are not married, it becomes a thing that is very difficult to control that will only cause problems for them. That is why the idea of sexual freedom, regardless of marital status, is such a dangerous idea.
I agree with the statement about generalization. There are women I've indirectly known who seemed to be the so-called "nympho". But, there are generalities among the TWO genders God created.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,403
3,644
113
#83
Ahh...and then we arrive at the topic of taking every thought captive. I pray for help with this frequently. Still, these thoughts eventually get me. If the mind isn't going to do it, the body will.

I am 58 and still... ugh... I just wish God would remove it. Take it away. Kill it. Zap it. Sexual drive is an enemy to the single Christian. It is not a blessing.

Now, some might say, "Well, that's good. It forces you to confront your own weaknesses at self-control." True, it does. But, the same thing can be said about any demonic whispering in the ear.
I hear you brother!!! Those struggles are very REAL... Over the past 6 years I have gone thru many phases and transitions in being able to continue to strive to battle said demons... I'm not sure I know the best sure fire - solution... I do recognize that 'stressful' times a certainly easier to deal with... Also, I find that having a 'purposeful' busy and productive and healthy life (style) is also a useful way to manage those natural human desires...
Good Luck...
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,773
2,326
113
Mesa, AZ
#84
I hear you brother!!! Those struggles are very REAL... Over the past 6 years I have gone thru many phases and transitions in being able to continue to strive to battle said demons... I'm not sure I know the best sure fire - solution... I do recognize that 'stressful' times a certainly easier to deal with... Also, I find that having a 'purposeful' busy and productive and healthy life (style) is also a useful way to manage those natural human desires...
Good Luck...
Agreed... but, despite my busy-ness and varied interests, I still find myself feeling that evil [unnamed feeling].

But, I will say this: God has given me something to aid in self-control and to ease the stress somewhat. 12 years ago, on June 16th or 17th, about 2am, I told God that I was going to surrender further than I have up to that point. I didn't know how well I was going to fare, but I told Him that I was giving Him what little I had. He honored that.

A bad, time-sucking habit that enabled me to willfully sin was removed instantly (in some small amount of fairness to me, I was pressured with intense anxiety if I did not pursue this activity; I almost could not rest without it). And, when I say "instantly", I mean just that. Also, the desire to perform certain auto-erotic functions was reduced. Something was taken from me after that prayer. I don't know what it was, but the result was an obsessive habit that completely and suddenly lost its grip on me, and a masturbatory habit that was reduced to about 50% its previous frequency. This time also saw me seeking God daily. I almost couldn't not do it. That feeling has since waned, but the habit it produced remained. I will not go a day without praying and reading or listening to God's word -- unless I'm blasted by a virus or something.

Nevertheless, what remains is still strong, and I truly wish God would address it one way or the other, instead of leaving me to be a rope in the middle of a tug-o-war game.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,403
3,644
113
#85
Agreed... but, despite my busy-ness and varied interests, I still find myself feeling that evil [unnamed feeling].

But, I will say this: God has given me something to aid in self-control and to ease the stress somewhat. 12 years ago, on June 16th or 17th, about 2am, I told God that I was going to surrender further than I have up to that point. I didn't know how well I was going to fare, but I told Him that I was giving Him what little I had. He honored that.

A bad, time-sucking habit that enabled me to willfully sin was removed instantly (in some small amount of fairness to me, I was pressured with intense anxiety if I did not pursue this activity; I almost could not rest without it). And, when I say "instantly", I mean just that. Also, the desire to perform certain auto-erotic functions was reduced. Something was taken from me after that prayer. I don't know what it was, but the result was an obsessive habit that completely and suddenly lost its grip on me, and a masturbatory habit that was reduced to about 50% its previous frequency. This time also saw me seeking God daily. I almost couldn't not do it. That feeling has since waned, but the habit it produced remained. I will not go a day without praying and reading or listening to God's word -- unless I'm blasted by a virus or something.

Nevertheless, what remains is still strong, and I truly wish God would address it one way or the other, instead of leaving me to be a rope in the middle of a tug-o-war game.
Agree!!! Prayer is key! Being able to give all our burdens to HIM is imperative to persevere especially with this spiritual battle…
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#86
women, women women...
why 3 women?

is one not enough lol