Dating an older man: How old would you go?

I am sure I did say earlier to use common sence correct, I think that would cover it.

Someone's got a bug in his underwear

(immitates british accent) Sir we are not a mused........

lol

I am.

Back when I had my set of rules and my list of what I was looking for it was not more than 10 years older or one year younger. I grew up with a friend that married a man 25 years her senior and they worked out fine for many years over 20 or 25 years. The problem he died when she was middle aged and she has missed him terribly since he has been gone.

Even though about three years after he died she remarried but still posts how much she misses her dead husband. This is the main thing I can see as a problem with marrying someone so much older.

My daughter is dating a guy 12 years younger than she is she is 42 he is 30 they have been about 5 months and they seem to be doing fine.

I went on one date with a man that was probably 40ish and I was around 24. He kissed me goodnight and it was like kissing my dad I didn't like it at all the one and only much older guy date I ever had.

The three guys I was ever serious with my first husband was 10 months older than me, my daughter's father was almost three years older than me and Tourist my current husband is 17 days younger than me. So I pretty much stayed in my age group.

Its only because boys mature later than girls that theres such an age gap. Girls at 16 are reading Shakespeare, while boys the same age are still reading Captain Underpants.

I see

Huh?

I was six and reading Charlotte's Web. I was reading much more complex stuff by the time I was eight.

But now I seem to have regressed. Today I am reading a gross generalization of gender roles by a girl who seems to have a very dim and stereotyped opinion of men.

Time to find a new author to read.
Check out Christianbook.com

When I was in my 20s, I said 5 yrs older. When I approached my 30s, I said 10 yrs older was ok lol.

Hubby is almost 4 yrs older than me.

His ending remark was referring to Lanolin and the post he quoted.

I guess I'm kind of an odd one out in that I'm a woman who wouldn't mind dating or marrying someone younger. At least I think... It would all depend on the person and circumstances.

I'm an Asian gal who grew up in an all-white town and was constantly hit on by much older men. This has pretty much continued throughout my life, and I never once got an inkling that they were concerned at all about me. I'm certainly NOT saying that all older men are like this. But for me, the ones who tried to talk to me wanted what they saw would be a young, submissive, exotic trophy to show off to their friends and take care of their every whim and need throughout the rest of their old age.

Not once did they ever ask about my own dreams, ambitions, or needs. My first question to an older man who was interested in me would be, "How do you plan to make sure your younger widow would be taken care of after God calls you home?" Now I'm certainly NOT saying in anyway that it's about money or materialism. Rather, I'm looking at motivation. In my view, someone who is concerned about their spouse both in life and after their death is heavenly-minded; someone who hasn't even thought about that is most likely only looking for what they can get out of the relationship while they can and are alive.

And a funny thing has happened. The years have passed by in a blink of an eye. And now I find it's younger men (usually around 15 years younger) who try to talk to me, which is a bit startling. Several years ago, one told me, "It's not too late, you know. We could still get married and have a family..." And I will forever be grateful to him for giving me that little glimpse of hope, even though it didn't work out.

But now I'm the one who thinks about things such as, If I met a man with a family (which is most likely at my stage in life,) would I be able to contribute to taking care of their needs? If something happened to me, would I have something to leave to them to help out? My focus has shifted from worrying about what someone is trying to get from me to worrying about if I have something of any substance to give or leave to someone else.

But I've also had a few dates with younger guys who were on the fence or didn't want to have kids, were very career-minded, and were looking for someone grounded and more mature. It was interesting to get a flicker of what life might look like as a childless but ministry-focused couple.

I think the most important thing to me now aside from faith is life experience, and how they handle responsibility or problems, and that can come in many forms at a variety of ages. Some of the guys I've met who were 15 years younger were more responsible than guys I met who were 10 years older. And of course, sometimes it's vice versa -- it all depends on the individual.

In the end, I know it's all in God's hands, and I pray constantly that He will not only let me know what His specific instructions are for my life, but that He would also give me the strength to actually follow through with them.

Oh ok

Not sure whom we're talking about here, but if me, I was replying to Canadian.

If not, then carry on

you would think on a Christian site, it would be the one place international relations wouldnt fall apart lol

Well it's your fault for being from Canadia

There were many older men at the retirement village I worked at.... but there were also older women there too. I think they were outnumbered though. Because women live longer.

Also they put the age up to 70 and the younger ones complained.

Could be worse, could be from the states lol

That's true. Then you'd actually have to live in the country that is the reason you have not been invaded.

...and it's working out great for the both of you.