Gay Christian?

Temptation is not sin: giving in to temptation is the sin.

And no, the things I listed were not all from my former marriage, but rather, a compilation of stories people have told me over time.

Many married Christians are struggling with these things in their marriage.

Even thinking about someone other than one's spouse in that way is sin, as Jesus said lusting after someone in thought was committing adultery in their heart.

I applaud you for going through 30 years of marriage and never thinking about any woman but your wife. That's a most noble accomplishment!

But unfortunately, many married Christians aren't so fortunate and they are struggling. Back when CC was more active, the Family Forum was filled with people pouring their hearts out about sexual struggles in their marriage and how their spouses refused to go to church and counseling.

For all the married Christian couples out there who don't have perfection in their married sex lives (no sin,) they need genuine, effective help.

Let me give you a little bit of my background. I am from California and lived here most of my life. I was called to the ministry at 17, I was saved at 15 going on 16. my parents were divorced, and I was raised in an abusive home by many family members. I lived with Unvles &Aunts and Cousins. Most of them were older than me and abused me sexually. I had an identity crisis and low self-esteem. Many things happened to me over the next 8 years. When I started bible school, HIV Aids had just hit the bathhouses in LA and SF. I had two relatives who were of the first 100 To contract HIV full-blown aids. The COVID-19 reaction was bad, but you should have seen it then. We young ministers were the only ones going to the Homosexuals, ministering to them and leading them to Christ before they died; some were even healed. The hospitals were in full PPE, and no one could go into the rooms without a waiver at their own risk.

We put our lives on the line, and even their families would not come to see them out of fear. We showed more love than you will ever know and gave grace. I personally led my Cousin to Christ, who was married with two children, and a JW minister, who divorced his wife and went into Homosexuality and got Aids. That happens because of the sexual abuse that happens to him by his uncles.

Doug Franklin Met the Lord Jesus and asked God to Forgive him of his sins and died and went to be with Jesus. Sexual sin does attack all because the flesh cannot BE SAVED. The spirit that is producing a stronghold on people today is one of Murder, mockery, and perversion. The LGBTQ has spiraled into deeper depravity, as ALL sin will DO if unchecked.

The remedy is only the Blood of Jesus and the Cross. Sexual Idolatry is real and abusive, and destructive.

Playtime is over. My Cousin Doug asked because they had no mirror in his hospital room " How do I look?"

" Do I look like I am going to die?" he asked " Please tell me the truth; I know you will not lie to me" " No one is telling me anything, please!"

I said Doug, you look like you are going to die. Doug stood up, rolled his shoulders back, nodded his head, and said, " I knew it"

This was a JW minister who had studied longer than I did have a theological degree. I was a young Preacher of the streets first year Bible school. What Could I say?

But I told him about Jesus The Spirit of God came, and He asked Jesus to come into his life and forgiveness of sins. 5 days later, Doug ent to be with Jesus.

There is know here who can ever tell about how to love homosexuals Because many of us have and still do win them to the lord. To God be the Glory

actually, I do think about other women than my wife. My two daughters, and granddaughters and my mother too

Thank you for your service to these vulnerable people in need. I am very sorry for the things you went through.

In college, we had a guest speaker with AIDS. Her husband was a hemophiliac and he got it before blood donations were screened for HIV. Her husband passed it to her before he died and she was left with their young daughter.

This was in the days when no one got near someone with HIV. But God moved something in my heart.

I went up to her, thanked her for telling her story, and gave her a big hug. She started weeping on my shoulder, saying this was the first hug she had gotten in 2 years. My eyes are tearing up just remembering it. And I can only imagine how much your efforts meant to those people.

Thank you again for serving populations others may be afraid to serve.

I am honored to hear stories of people reaching out to the most rejected in our society.

So that verse does not say the marriage bed CANNOT be defiled. It's not like a man and a woman get married and their hormones shut down. They're still going to have all those urges they had before they married.

My best friend at work is a gay man, raised in the Free Methodist church. He knows the Bible better than most Christians. He's very educated, intelligent man. He's also one of the kindest people I've ever met, very shy, and at times, withdrawn. He calls himself an atheist. He has never pursued a romantic relationship with ANYONE, male or female, because of his extreme shyness. In fact, the only reason he told me about being gay was because I kept commenting on the pretty girls we'd see at work (yep, I'm going to hell, too, for admiring the beauty of girls/women). He just blurted it out one day, and turned completely red faced. It's not something he ever tells people. But according to the experts here, my friend is going to hell for being gay.

Again, glad to be surrounded here by people without sin.

This point may have already been made. I believe it's possible for someone not be attracted to the opposite sex and maybe attracted to their own. It's a fallen world and there's different things that could contribute to that sadly. That doesn't mean it's right for them to pursue those attractions, not at all. I don't think those people should try to force themselves to be attracted to the opposite sex; instead, if they are believers, it is a time for them to deny one's flesh. A person doesn't have to get married.

But sin in always sin. "Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them."

He's not going to Hell because he is gay. He's going to Hell because he has not believed on the Son of God. Pray for him. And look opportunities to share the gospel.

He grew up in the Free Methodist church. He's read the Bible cover to cover. He KNOWS the gospel.
And he has rejected it. That is his choice. It's not up to me to shove the Bible down his throat. He owns a Bible. He still reads it sometimes. But he reads other books, too. And I'm not going to reject him for not being like me. If I had that attitude, I wouldn't have a friend in the world. And what an example that would be to him of how Christians behave. "Oh, you don't believe in Jesus Christ? Then get lost!"

I don't equate praying for someone and looking for opportunities to share the gospel with get lost.
God has obviously chosen you to be His ambassador in your friends life. I didn't suggest you cast your friend aside. I suggested you love him all the more.

This seems to be a touchy subject for you. Is anything else going on?

Not sure what point you're making and I don't want to assume. Can you clarify?



I've tried to take a different POV on your posts because of Seoul, my sister in the Lord. But again you accuse Christians instead of God. He is the one that has said homosexuality is a sin. You can lambaste Christians all day long, but I'm not the one responsible for what the Word says. It doesn't matter here who is perfect or not perfect, most here are former sinners saved by grace. Their sins are under Jesus blood. Not so for your friend. Your concern should be leading your friend to Christ, before anything else. Not clapping back at brothers and sisters in Christ for speaking the truth.

But it up to you to talk to him, pray for him and try and lead him to Christ. God put you in his life for a reason.

What do you mean? Saved? Free from the bondage of sin? Why wouldn't you want him to be a Christian?

You care more about having friends and not offending them than leading them to Christ? So you're going to be the stumbling block that won't give them the Answer, even though you know it? smh I don't understand.

Your story is unreasonable and hard to accept. First God made the opposite sex attractive Read of the beauty of Sarah and other women in the bible it is not a sin to look at a beautiful woman FYI most of us men had to see her before we married her.

Second, you said the gay man called himself an Athiest then you state "the experts here, my friend is going to hell for being gay. "


Does your friend get to go to heaven because he is the kindest person I've ever met? Jesus is not needed as long as extremely shy?

Or does he get a pass for being an atheist? If he knows the bible better than most Christians then he should know if you don't come to the Lord Jesus and repent you don't go to heaven you go to hell Jesus said that.
Without faith, it is impossible to please God Those who come to God MUST Believe that HE is and a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. Heb 11:6

Most read John 3: 16 and fail to read 17 to 21

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.

21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”

One thing at a time, lets start here. From day one as a Christian, I was warned against admiring the beauty of the girls in school, in our Bible study, at church - because that would be lust, and if you lust after a woman, you go to hell, you're guilty of sin.

Oh, okay, I'm supposed to gouge out my eyes cause they're causing me to sin. I'm a coward, i didn't have the courage to ask someone to rip my eyes out.

Of course, we are warned even more strongly against lusting after our own gender. So it's hopeless. I don't know how people get married. But if they do get married, then suddenly it's okay to get naked and do all the things you had been warned would send you to hell. I don't see how I could even enjoy such activity after being warned all my life that that would send me straight to hell.

I've been told that dating is wrong, I've been told that kissing before marriage is wrong. Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong. So if this is what it means to be a Christian, I can understand why some people turn away from it. It's just a bunch of rules - even though we are told we are to live by faith, not the law, the law is abolished. I'm not so sure about it. Us Christians seem to be very good at making rules for ourselves and others. So if the Christian life is just a bunch of do's and don't's (mostly don't's), what really makes us any different than the Pharisees of Jesus' time?

Do you know what defines a Christian?

I hope you're just being flippant and not being serious. There's nothing wrong with admiring and celebrating beauty. Lust is an intention to do what is forbidden. There's a very young and pretty woman at work I enjoy talking to sometimes. She is pretty, and I can admire that. I have zero lust for her as I have no desire to do anything salacious with her.

I find people (men and women) who cross that "mental thought line" find it very difficult to return back to simply enjoying beauty in the opposite sex without crossing that line >> habits develop.

How about you provide me with a Biblical response to your answer. I understand that you warned about admiring the beauty of girls
I have two Daughters. They both are Beautiful, yet I have self-control and do not go to a place that is inappropriate. My Mother is a Beautiful woman. The legalism of those who are religious has hurt many, I get that. But the word of God says not to look at a woman with LUST God did not say don't see them and who they are, and to desire a wife is a good thing. He who has found a wife has found a good thing, and is Favored by God. Prov 18:22

You have an unbiblical approach to understanding the word of God.


When Jesus, If the right I offend you, Pluck it out, it is better that one member of your body it removed than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Matthew 18:19
That might work, but if taking out your eye could keep you out of hell, Jesus did not need to go to the cross.

What Jesus is saying is to deal with the sin in your life, or it will deal with you. Give no place to the devil. Flee from youthful lust.

We make God unreasonable, Just AS EVE DID IN HER COMMENT found in Genesis 3: 3

Eve is speaking : 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’

God did not say not to touch it. He said don't eat of it. People with good intentions and are meaning well but just wrong. They put on people things they would not have placed on themselves. Jesus spoke of this in Matthew chapter 23 and read it in the NLT. Jesus gave one of the strongest rebukes to those religious leaders.


Kissing a girl that you are in love with is not wrong as long as it is welcomed. It is not wrong to desire a woman as a man. It is wrong to engage in sex before marriage. That's God's standard, not man's. Yes, in an over-sexed world that is perverted, even women have issues living up to the false narrative created on how women should look to be perfect.

That was created by men through pornography. NO woman could live up to that fantasy. It's a false lie; it will not satisfy and leave one bound and addicted to chasing unreasonable standards, just like the drug addict who looks for that first high and never gets it.

Listen, I love the Lord, and my life is not about a bunch of do & don't it is I obey because I love him, and He loves me. I have freedom, and I have used it wrong at times in my life. Everything God has said don't do was not because he did not want me to have fun; it was because he knew the pain it would cause my family or me and ruin my marriage and walk with Him. Is not that what a father is supposed to do? Protect His children?

I disagree. I work with very attractive women, many of them married one sits in my office daily. Each day I pray Lord to come with me to work; our conversations are good and professional, and even of our plans for the weekend with our families. We laugh and joke, but to ruin the wonderful help, she provides to me as her boss by inappropriate action would hurt her, my wife, and our jobs and families.

We must always count the cost of what happens IF. I don't work on pins and needles. I have an open-door policy to knock and come in, and the door has been closed many times and for hours in and out. Pray for her and her family as I dod all my staff of 25. 99 % are women. I would not change a thing. Have no fear. Guess what? When you date a girl, tell them how you see them and be real about your desires and tell them, don't let me cross the line. You can go to places to be alone but not alone; alone, go to the movies, restaurants, and parks. Day trips were no overnight go to her parent's home and invited other married couples double date. So many good things to do but we

Want to say GOD said, "don't even touch it !!! "

Okay let me qualify >> insert word "sometimes" and "often"

Gotta say that sounds like some convoluted logic to me... Saying one group of people are too often hypocrites (married Christians) doesn't necessarily mean one is justifying another group of people (homosexuals).