Trouble with friends

I remember walking into a singles SS class after getting divorced and listening to the banter between them and thinking that I seriously don't want to return or turn into these people.

Then theres the whole procreation thing....

I remember walking into a singles SS class after getting divorced and listening to the banter between them and thinking that I seriously don't want to return or turn into these people.

I haven't had the greatest track record with Christian women as friends. I had a few that were close friends of mine in different stages of my life that ended because of men being involved in their lives.
My experience is that when they start dating a man, and this may not be exclusive to Christian women but it seems as though their friendships fall behind, whereas for men this doesn't happen as often.
I think it's hard to maintain a friendship when only one party is making a concerted effort, and when that is the case I move forward.

Has anyone had this experience, how did you handle it?

I've only ever been single so I honestly don't know the difference. How do married people think? What was it about the banter you heard from singles in that class that you didn't like?

❧

I haven't had the greatest track record with Christian women as friends. I had a few that were close friends of mine in different stages of my life that ended because of men being involved in their lives.
My experience is that when they start dating a man, and this may not be exclusive to Christian women but it seems as though their friendships fall behind, whereas for men this doesn't happen as often.
I think it's hard to maintain a friendship when only one party is making a concerted effort, and when that is the case I move forward.

Has anyone had this experience, how did you handle it?

Well, singles are consistently slightly flirty but never anything overt....always baiting for the "ego stroke".
Then there's the non-stop "resume building" for a prospective spouse. Guys doing "manly things" (except admitting to video games) and girls trying to improve their figure, appearance and reduce debts.

Married people don't do any of this. We tend to think "we" all of the time. We don't care about self improvement....really! We don't want more college degrees or reduced debt or increased savings. We are usually generous with compliments because it's a habit. We aren't constantly signaling "available " with somewhat flirty comments or manipulating for ego strokes. We look for activities that aren't so gender specific. We definitely have a high value on a good dinner and conversation. How trite is it for married guys to excell at barbecue(or cooking in general), care about lawn maintenance or shrubbery?
Married guys (the good ones) are all knowledgeable and involved about their children and know a lot about their discipline and achievements.

Where singles are ever ready to talk about themselves, married people talk about everyone and everything else except for themselves because their focused mindset is always outside of themselves.
I knew a single woman that had a huge strawberry across her face and neck and arms. But she was always pleasant and was the queen of bunt cakes...always concerned about feeding us during class. Out of everyone else in the singles class she was the first to get married. And she was up against three different "barbie" type women with impeccable dress, makeup, pedigrees and resumes. (I myself have never been interested in the cooking sort...I am a four star (French Mobile) five diamond class of chef . I can cook very well for two or two thousand. I personally have been a fan of the "smart girls" . (And it doesn't necessarily work out for me) So none of the barbies were to my taste.

But at any rate that should give you a starting point to begin noticing the differences.

Omy goodness did you have to pay extra for that oh so broad brush, lol

The friends that were real close to you when young may catch up with you when older, yes inevitably life gets in the way, but you just need to be open to new friendships.

I try not to be too clingy and shy away from those who claim I am their ONLY friend. That can be kind of possessive and unhealthy. I dont think its great to be jealous of a boyfriend as that friend chooses to be with him after all, if you dont like him or you think hes not good for her of course you can say, but accept that you really want the best for your friend. Dont be the kind of girl who insists on being married to her best friend!