Trouble with friends
- Thread starter Kaylz
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I went back on facebook after a long break and did some catch ups with friends and fam I hadnt been in touch with for a while.
One of my friends passed away and I was trying to tell the other friends in her group. One was in my ladies Bible study and was now married with 2 children, we had been praying for her pregnancies and her job and house etc.
She was very thankful I had reached out to her as its not easy being married with children and she hadnt been able to get to church, and our group was no longer meeting.
But I think that bible study group was the one where I made the most enduring christian friendships. Yes we met at the group but then I make time to do activities with the ladies outside the group. eg we dont always have to hang out in the group.
I think what Seoul wrote about singles and those (expensive) christian retreats is quite true, you met others but then go your separate ways and never hear from them again, because everyone lives so far away from each other while if its a group within you own church and you can easily keep in touch because of the proximity to each other that is better, or you need to keep making the effort to see each other.
I think we cannot expect some friends to keep in touch daily all the time, but value the time that we do have (im big on quality time) while married people, since they see their other half every single day, as. they live in the same house share the same bed and do eveything together all the time ....seem to take that time for granted. I think it can be exhausting to live like that. Even Jesus needed some time alone.
However I think people do need to make the effort and also throw a party once in a while to treat their friends. Not everyone will make it but they will value the effort you put in to make time.
One of my friends passed away and I was trying to tell the other friends in her group. One was in my ladies Bible study and was now married with 2 children, we had been praying for her pregnancies and her job and house etc.
She was very thankful I had reached out to her as its not easy being married with children and she hadnt been able to get to church, and our group was no longer meeting.
But I think that bible study group was the one where I made the most enduring christian friendships. Yes we met at the group but then I make time to do activities with the ladies outside the group. eg we dont always have to hang out in the group.
I think what Seoul wrote about singles and those (expensive) christian retreats is quite true, you met others but then go your separate ways and never hear from them again, because everyone lives so far away from each other while if its a group within you own church and you can easily keep in touch because of the proximity to each other that is better, or you need to keep making the effort to see each other.
I think we cannot expect some friends to keep in touch daily all the time, but value the time that we do have (im big on quality time) while married people, since they see their other half every single day, as. they live in the same house share the same bed and do eveything together all the time ....seem to take that time for granted. I think it can be exhausting to live like that. Even Jesus needed some time alone.
However I think people do need to make the effort and also throw a party once in a while to treat their friends. Not everyone will make it but they will value the effort you put in to make time.
I am currently reading the book Best Friends Forever by Irene Levine. The main takeaway is that BFF is a myth when it comes to female friendships, and that female friendships are very fragile. The book focuses on breakups of best/close friends. Women are quick to withdraw or dump best friends quickly even over single events (book gives examples of, unintended insults, not attending a family funeral, forgetting birthday or other important dates, etc.).
Not mentioned in the book, but guys/husbands being dumped should take some comfort in knowing that women are quick to dump anyone.
The book says that women have "face to face" friendships which are more intimate and sensitive to betrayal than guy friendships, which are "side by side" which are more or less activity based friendships (hunting, sports, etc.). Men also have a competitive streak so they don't get too close.
Anyway, it is a great book and page turner.
Not mentioned in the book, but guys/husbands being dumped should take some comfort in knowing that women are quick to dump anyone.
The book says that women have "face to face" friendships which are more intimate and sensitive to betrayal than guy friendships, which are "side by side" which are more or less activity based friendships (hunting, sports, etc.). Men also have a competitive streak so they don't get too close.
Anyway, it is a great book and page turner.
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Ive attended funerals of friends family members whom Ive never met
more to support the mourner than to remember the person
But if she hadnt taken me she would have asked someone else. I was free at the time. when one of my close friends passed and her family had a memorial service in her tribal lands I couldnt go...I didnt have anyone to travel with and her family couldnt or wouldnt take me...her mum didnt like me or any of her friends
my sister flew half way round the world to attend her friends dads funeral.
I think funerals are emotional times for sure and not easy cos you never know when they may happen for most
more to support the mourner than to remember the person
But if she hadnt taken me she would have asked someone else. I was free at the time. when one of my close friends passed and her family had a memorial service in her tribal lands I couldnt go...I didnt have anyone to travel with and her family couldnt or wouldnt take me...her mum didnt like me or any of her friends
my sister flew half way round the world to attend her friends dads funeral.
I think funerals are emotional times for sure and not easy cos you never know when they may happen for most
