social torture

I was thinking this recently how I dont really like to be invited to social events
Whether its to dinners, potlucks or prizegivings or things were you have to perform or wear uncomfortable outfits. You might know one person but they could be the host and would be too busy to look after you and wont go with you. ANd you have to figure out how to get their on your own and you cant really leave when you want.

People know each other already but then you have to introduce yourself all over again or explain your life story to a stranger. (sometimes people are nosy and want to know all about you) or make small talk. If theres too many people it just gets overwhelming esp if you have a quiet voice or nature.

Church can be kind of like this. It can be like being the new kid at school too.

I dont know if anyone has tips of navigating social life you would think I would just be ok slotting in with strangers by now. but theres probably all these faux pas you end up doing like talking too much or not talking at all, not wearing the right clothes, not being being to excuse yourself if you are bored. Or falling asleep. Eating too much or not enough. Who knows all the rules to these things anyway? I never went to charm school. lol

That's a problem in a big church like Harvest. Many have said they sit, listen to the service and walk out alone to their car.
What they've come up with is 'small groups' many still on zoom but every few months there is a koinonia (food, sing & game time) where we're in person. That way no one is left out as we just group together. Even smaller churches could do this, some groups are for couples, singles, mothers, widows etc and as it turns out a super thing.
This is like my seventh yr in sm groups and when I go to church I usually bump😂 into someone I know from groups.

Lanolin, can you open a topic about New Zealand so we can discuss the Pros and Cons of New Zealand?
Thank you.

yea I prefer the small group fellowship. I think I can handle the big sunday services more if I am also part of a small group (but dont always feel I need to attend the larger fellowships all the time) its just at the moment I havent really got into the small groups regularly, and the church I was in had kind of disbanded their small group after covid.

Small groups are generally not more than 10 people. As two ladies did come and speak with me cos they knew me from that. Its usually a wednesday night thing right?

I dont do the big zoom thing anymore actually havent had one all year lol
The novelty wore off a bit but its great some churches got into it.

I had this idea that all of us who attend church esp a sunday service write our names on bits of paper and when its time for worship or a group sing everyone gets out of their seats hat gets passed around we all draw names out of a hat and we are in that group of 2 or 3 or have to find that person and get to know them and have just one thing they want prayer about. Rule being it cant be someone youve met or known before.

Or maybe thats just what everyone already does at other churches I dont know.

Lanolin, can you open a topic about New Zealand so we can discuss the Pros and Cons of New Zealand?
Thank you.

what? um ok I but it wont be in this forum should I put it under...Conspiracy and Corruption or Miscellaneous forum?

Hmm, yes, well... My church is probably smaller than yours and I already know everyone there, but I've been doing something similar.

I make it my custom to have no customary seat. I sit in a different random place in the sanctuary every service. I get stale and old sitting in the same place in the same pew time after time.

I remember one time I went to this church I'd never been to. I was a little early and set down somewhere in the middle but on the outside aisle. So just sitting there, I felt like someone was staring at me and I look behind and there's an older couple standing in the aisle looking at me. I looked at them a second and turned back around, but they didn't budge and pulled up beside me looking at me. I finally asked them if they needed to get by and stook up and they said "you're sitting in our seats". I said I wasn't aware of that and stepped in the aisle and they seated themselves. Then the man said "you're welcome to sit down from us", but I told them I'd go them one better and sit in one of the other empty rows. "More hymals", I said "I need two to sing in stereo" but they didn't get it.

I remember one time I went to this church I'd never been to. I was a little early and set down somewhere in the middle but on the outside aisle. So just sitting there, I felt like someone was staring at me and I look behind and there's an older couple standing in the aisle looking at me. I looked at them a second and turned back around, but they didn't budge and pulled up beside me looking at me. I finally asked them if they needed to get by and stook up and they said "you're sitting in our seats". I said I wasn't aware of that and stepped in the aisle and they seated themselves. Then the man said "you're welcome to sit down from us", but I told them I'd go them one better and sit in one of the other empty rows. "More hymals", I said "I need two to sing in stereo" but they didn't get it.