~Chuckle for the Day~

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TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,223
1,584
113
68
Brighton, MI
My sympathy is with the skunks. All they are trying to do is live their peaceable lives and humans keep making a big fuss all around them. It wears on their nerves.

I don't think I could have pressed tresspassing charges though. The line "Between the skunk spray and their threats of lawsuits, I think enough people have been raising a big stink already" would be too good for me to pass up.
All of our roads are Private and come under a special set of laws.
For anyone to go door to door they must apply for a permit. Police runs background check to make sure they are not violent crimials. Trustpassing is automatic response by the Police. Most of the homes in our neighborhood are armed to teeth and shooting those invading our area is encouraged. Residents are not proscutted. If they are on our road without a permit, it is Crimial Trustpassing. This set of laws has been supported by the Supreme Court. Liberals have tried to challenge them in court many times and lost every time and had to pay for our Lawyers.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,729
9,660
113
All of our roads are Private and come under a special set of laws.
For anyone to go door to door they must apply for a permit. Police runs background check to make sure they are not violent crimials. Trustpassing is automatic response by the Police. Most of the homes in our neighborhood are armed to teeth and shooting those invading our area is encouraged. Residents are not proscutted. If they are on our road without a permit, it is Crimial Trustpassing. This set of laws has been supported by the Supreme Court. Liberals have tried to challenge them in court many times and lost every time and had to pay for our Lawyers.
No no, I'm not saying you're wrong to prosecute. I'm just saying it would have been sooooo much funnier the other way.
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
37,975
13,627
113
I also, support the Skunks. I even pet them with no problems.
we've got an armadillo here, 2 years in a row. skunks were under the house a few years before that for a while. I made them a door.

they're my neighbors, as far as I'm concerned
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,886
4,347
113
mywebsite.us
Bricklayer Insurance Claim

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope...
 

Zandar

Well-known member
May 16, 2023
1,651
653
113
Hammer sizes by name. Small to large:

1 Loose fit.
2 Snug fit.
3 Tight fit.
4 Won't go.
5 OH, YES IT WILL!

 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,703
1,236
113
adam & eve had the perfect marriage. he didn't have to listen to her talk about men she had before him & he didn't have to put up with his mother!