Do you/should you disclose personal financial information to extended family or close friends?

Just recently, a friend asked me directly, and unexpectedly, how much salary I made. I really was unprepared and didn't have time to think, so I told her my real salary. She is unemployed currently and so focused on job search and salaries right now. The last time someone asked me directly was when I graduated college, when we were all comparing salaries.

How would you respond if a close friend asked you about your salary (or other major financial information)?

Have you/would you ask someone else about their salary or financial information? Why or why not?

I can't recall any close friends asking me my salary. If they did, I'd probably answer in some sort of round about way or answer with a joke. "I make enough to afford such and such, but not enough to afford such and such." I can't see myself disclosing my exact information.

I have not asked anyone what their salary is.

As far as family goes...my family is a pack of heathens, no way am I disclosing how much coffee I have stocked up let alone my finances. There is only one person (not related) in my life that I'm close enough to that I might disclose that sort of information to if I felt I needed to, otherwise I keep all that info confidential.

If someone ask you what is your salary/rent/mortgage/weight, I think you can ask them the same question. There is no way to avoid the topic if someone directly asks though. With not- close people, it is easier to brush off. Same with close family, they'll just think you are weird but the relation isn't jeopardized. Close family also would not get jealous or try to take advantage. However, with others, they may be offended or begin to question the relationship.

Don't believe I've ever asked any such a thing.
Can't recall being asked, either. But whether or not I may answer would depend largely on who was asking. There's only a few people I'd be willing to give more details to. No one else needs to know. If they get upset or offended then that's proof of why they aren't closer, and someone I'd be willing to tell. So I'm likely better off without them.

I need to stock up on coffee too.

I might disclose some details of my income/worth with some family members if there is a good reason for doing so. With friends... all they'd get is vague information that doesn't provide any real details, unless there was a real good reason for giving them something real.

About a year ago I started doing a lot of research into personal finance, and joined a few chat groups regarding this topic. Being very naive and not really joining any other communities except churches, I was surprised to see that pretty much any group has the same toxic pushbacks. If you don't brag about how much you make, how much you have in your portfolio, or how your latest stock pick flew to the moon, you're a nobody and not a "real" investor. It's very much like what you see here on CC when others accuse anyone who doesn't think or act like them of not being a "real" Christian.

Excuse me while I roll my eyes like a pair of thrown dice.

I've had lots of people ask me personal questions about my finances in these chats, and even more so because I'm a woman (which is rare to see in some of them.) I tell them all the same thing I would say to anyone in real life: I was raised in a different time, when everything wasn't billboarded on social media, and my parents taught me to only talk about financial matters with my closest family and friends. So far, people have backed down when I give that answer.

And if anyone thinks I'm a loser because of that, well, they're entitled to their own opinion. (Just like the ones here on the forum over the years who have told me I'm not a real Christian.)

I think it's like a new fad in 2023 but started back in the 90's when real estate/rent ect. began to sky rocket. To me I would not(in my case) but it's because of my personal home situation. If the family members/friends ect. were different though there might be no way out of asking. Why I say this is that over the last 20 or so years it has become common for several friends/family members joining together as roommates in the same household and so it's possible to have one person making 75,000 a year and the other roommates/family members living below poverty in the same household. Bare in mind though that I don't know if the friend you mention is living in your house or not and that I'm only showing an example of a situation where family members or friends would have no choice but to ask about your finances,(one person can make good money while the other roommates could be disqualified because of the total income of the members in the house). https://www.joinproviders.com/state/texas/food-stamps-eligibility-income-limits/

My first thought is, "Why would I ask that of someone else?" I can't think of any reason.

But that is understandable. Maybe she wants to know what she should be aiming for. I wouldn't tell her what I make, but I can understand why she would ask.

Family ok....especially the ones that might have to deal with your estate should something untimely happen to you.

If no family then a long-time friend....one you CAN TRUST.

Half the time you can't trust family except to steal from you...same with friends. So being extremely circumspect is an absolute must.

If was a close friend I'd just be honest but if it was one of those forms that says what is your income and you have to tick a box so they can market to you an sell you more stuff I just tick the box that says none of your business.

The only time I ask people about their salary or people ask about mine is when I'm unemployed lol
It is usually on jobs being advertised anyway as they may tell you what the hourly rate is, or if its a full time professional job, what the start rate is, or what band or whatver someone is on.

Many jobs have a minimum and then there is a more they will pay but that may only come with experience, or if you are trained, but training will take a huge chunk of your pay because you actually have to pay for that anyway. So someone whos done med school has already spent a lot of that on getting trained up and are really on a high rate so they can pay it all back!

because i'm famous in the local area, people already have an idea of my salary. (famous meaning i'm a business owner). when someone asks my salary, i say, "it's enough for now". i wouldn't ask that $ because it's too personal.

When someone ask me, I reply "I have clothes to wear, food to eat, a warm place to live, and a car that runs. God has blessed me far beyond my expectations, so I make sure that he gets his share of what I earn.

I still think asking about salary is rude. Nothing good can come out of it, unless both make identical salaries. For a person who asks about salary, this topic matters to them and they have deep emotions about it.

It's an interesting question I think should be brought up more. I just don't get the secrecy with it and wouldn't care if someone asked me.

Personally I don't ask bc 1. It's taboo and 2. Typically I can tell by someone's job or what they own how much money they make. Granted there are those I think are in debt, but I'm not curious enough to ask directly.

plus it's really not my business unless they plan on moving in with me while they're in debt. 😆

I just think asking adds an unnecessarily complication to the friendship/relationship. A lot of people take pride in their job/career and equate salary with their value, so when they start comparing salary they take differences more personally. That's why God gave us the 10th commandment.

I think this issue affects everyone, even to a small degree, as there is always someone you know who makes more than you. It may not be flat out envy/jealousy, but there is at least some judgement. Such as, he makes a lot, why is he being so cheap.

Well why not just stop coveting what others have.
If you are unemployed you do need to know salaries of job you applying for to have an idea if its worth going for or so you can afford to live on it though. So its a reasonable question but you can find that out easily with an internet search on careers. If you are thinking of buying a business, you'd want to know the turnover.

If people just being nosy just say its not any of your business. Some people are spenders, some are savers. Some can live on the smell of an oily rag, some people hide their money in offshore accounts. Some have worked longer than others. Some people live beyond their means, and some people are misers. Some people are bludgers, its just a fact of life. If someones unemployed thats common too what with the economy tanking.

I dont think Christians ought to be judging others on basis of salary, but it seems to me rich people have no clue what hardship is or why poor people struggle. They seem to have this idea that poor people are or lazy and can just automatically find a good job if they wanted. They dont understand why someone with not much means might want to appear rich so people wont judge them for being poor! While rich people can be like Im hanging on to every cent for myself. lol

I had to explain to some rich christians that poor children do want to wear designer or label fashions that are really expensive so they can fit in with everyone else. These rich christians couldnt understand why poor children dont want to appear poor and be judged for being poor.

This is because rich people are big risk takers and make huge gambles, and know they can lose it all quickly. At least for people involved in business or finance.

I would be sure to give details of my financial situation to the person i had as the beneficiary in my Will,,