How To keep Her From Dropping the "F-Bomb" on You

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SteveEpperson

Junior Member
May 12, 2018
545
218
43
#1
Imagine you're on your second date with your dream woman, and things seem to be going well. The conversation is good, and the walk you are on is quiet and undisturbed. You decide to lean in for the first kiss, and she pulls away. "I'm sorry," she says. "I hope I haven't led you on, but I really only want to be friends right now."

She just dropped the dreaded word no man wants to hear from any woman they are pursuing right on your head. It's the horrible FRIEND label that will crush any hope of you and her ever having a romantic relationship, let alone getting married and having children.

At this point, she has relegated you to her long list of "guy friends" who will NEVER have any chance of getting past a handshake. At best, you will be her sounding board and therapist for when she breaks up with one of her REAL boyfriends. At worst, you will be her doormat, always there to be led by a leash to do her bidding.

So, what happened?

You'll have to retrace your steps way back to when you first introduced yourself:

-Did you flirt with her, or were you merely conversing with her as you would another man?

-Do you dress like a man or a teenage boy? (more on this in another post)

-Are you lighthearted and fun, or are you always complaining about the economy or how horrible the service is at the restaurant?

-Did you pay for the first date or "go Dutch?" Remember, the man ALWAYS pays. It shows you are generous and, at the same time, have your life together. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do.

-Did you look into her eyes at least once during the first date? Holding your eyes on hers for a split second more than is comfortable is even more powerful. But only once per encounter, for obvious reasons. It shouldn't be a staring contest but a natural gaze into the wonders of her soul.

-Do you smile? I mean, really smile. Or are you frowning and serious most of the time? Check out your smile in the mirror and see if you can't improve on it. The bigger your smile, the more inviting you look. Practice in the mirror until it comes naturally. If you can master this one thing, you will have an advantage over 95% of all the other men out there. Smiling is a serious business.

-Did you talk about romantic things on the first date, or did you go into a diatribe about how unfair "the dating game" is? The best things to talk to a woman about are vacations, travel, books she has read, the favorite part of her day, etc. Be creative!

-Do you seem too eager and available? When setting up the second date, only give a few choices for dates and times. Don't say, "I'm really available anytime. I'll work with your schedule." You should always convey that you have a life outside of pursuing her and that your time is just as important as hers. This is why I advocate for at least talking to more than one woman at a time. It doesn't mean you are some kind of player who has relationships with a dozen women. It simply means you have made contact or flirted with a few gals here and there. This way, if things go south, as they have here, you have seeds planted elsewhere. Nuff said.

-On the first date, did you simply say goodbye or shake her hand? NEVER EVER shake the hand of a woman you are trying to pursue a relationship with. After all, does a husband and wife shake hands when they see each other after a long day? Of course not! They always kiss and hug each other. Eventually, you will lean in for that first kiss. But if you shake her hand like you would with a guy, she will automatically reach for the big red button that says "F-Bomb!"


A quick warning

I know this is a lot of information to take in, and some of it seems a bit weird or silly, but I know from first-hand experience that it works—sometimes too well. If you practice and master what I teach, I'm convinced you will find the person of your dreams to marry. But there will be rare instances when a woman simply wants a quick fling. She may even offer to invite a friend or two. So, for obvious reasons, always be praying in the Holy Spirit to help you flee temptation and sexual sin.

Questions? Leave me a private message, and I'll get back ASAP.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful replies and responses.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,374
8,385
113
#2
Gotta give you props for the clickbait title. Good strat.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,209
4,698
113
#3
Imagine you're on your second date with your dream woman, and things seem to be going well. The conversation is good, and the walk you are on is quiet and undisturbed. You decide to lean in for the first kiss, and she pulls away. "I'm sorry," she says. "I hope I haven't led you on, but I really only want to be friends right now."

She just dropped the dreaded word no man wants to hear from any woman they are pursuing right on your head. It's the horrible FRIEND label that will crush any hope of you and her ever having a romantic relationship, let alone getting married and having children.

At this point, she has relegated you to her long list of "guy friends" who will NEVER have any chance of getting past a handshake. At best, you will be her sounding board and therapist for when she breaks up with one of her REAL boyfriends. At worst, you will be her doormat, always there to be led by a leash to do her bidding.

So, what happened?

You'll have to retrace your steps way back to when you first introduced yourself:

-Did you flirt with her, or were you merely conversing with her as you would another man?

-Do you dress like a man or a teenage boy? (more on this in another post)

-Are you lighthearted and fun, or are you always complaining about the economy or how horrible the service is at the restaurant?

-Did you pay for the first date or "go Dutch?" Remember, the man ALWAYS pays. It shows you are generous and, at the same time, have your life together. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do.

-Did you look into her eyes at least once during the first date? Holding your eyes on hers for a split second more than is comfortable is even more powerful. But only once per encounter, for obvious reasons. It shouldn't be a staring contest but a natural gaze into the wonders of her soul.

-Do you smile? I mean, really smile. Or are you frowning and serious most of the time? Check out your smile in the mirror and see if you can't improve on it. The bigger your smile, the more inviting you look. Practice in the mirror until it comes naturally. If you can master this one thing, you will have an advantage over 95% of all the other men out there. Smiling is a serious business.

-Did you talk about romantic things on the first date, or did you go into a diatribe about how unfair "the dating game" is? The best things to talk to a woman about are vacations, travel, books she has read, the favorite part of her day, etc. Be creative!

-Do you seem too eager and available? When setting up the second date, only give a few choices for dates and times. Don't say, "I'm really available anytime. I'll work with your schedule." You should always convey that you have a life outside of pursuing her and that your time is just as important as hers. This is why I advocate for at least talking to more than one woman at a time. It doesn't mean you are some kind of player who has relationships with a dozen women. It simply means you have made contact or flirted with a few gals here and there. This way, if things go south, as they have here, you have seeds planted elsewhere. Nuff said.

-On the first date, did you simply say goodbye or shake her hand? NEVER EVER shake the hand of a woman you are trying to pursue a relationship with. After all, does a husband and wife shake hands when they see each other after a long day? Of course not! They always kiss and hug each other. Eventually, you will lean in for that first kiss. But if you shake her hand like you would with a guy, she will automatically reach for the big red button that says "F-Bomb!"


A quick warning

I know this is a lot of information to take in, and some of it seems a bit weird or silly, but I know from first-hand experience that it works—sometimes too well. If you practice and master what I teach, I'm convinced you will find the person of your dreams to marry. But there will be rare instances when a woman simply wants a quick fling. She may even offer to invite a friend or two. So, for obvious reasons, always be praying in the Holy Spirit to help you flee temptation and sexual sin.

Questions? Leave me a private message, and I'll get back ASAP.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful replies and responses.
As someone who's written a few threads on CC over the years, I want to give you major props for the head-turning, creative title and all the work you're putting into these!!

I've had times where I put more work into writing an opening post than I did on my college papers, so I know how much effort this really takes.

Kudos to you!
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,387
2,389
113
#4
Wait a minute, what walk? I've read your threads and the second date was going to the movies to use up about to expire coupons. I'm still not sure this gal knows she's on a date. But I am sure you're likely to get shot down if you're trying to kiss her after two kind of maybe dates, unless she's really into you.
With women these days you'll be lucky if you get a nice calm polite answer in this scenario.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,480
2,545
113
#5
Friend Zoned:

Who cares.
Move on.


.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,387
2,389
113
#6
I know this is a lot of information to take in, and some of it seems a bit weird or silly, but I know from first-hand experience that it works—sometimes too well. If you practice and master what I teach, I'm convinced you will find the person of your dreams to marry.
You say this, yet in your other thread you sure made it sound like you're currently single. Makes people wonder how many times you've found a person of your dreams to marry and what happened to those dreams.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,209
4,698
113
#8
But what if friend zone is the answer?
I was thinking this too.

A lot of us have had experiences where we were friendzoned and it hurt like hot poker through the chest at the time.

But later on, we came to realize that not only was it for a good reason (and might have been because God was saying no,) but could have very much been a blessing in disguise.

And so maybe the next time we're friendzoned, we might not take it so personally (and even take the time to ask God if this is His will.)
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,387
2,389
113
#9
I was also wanting to mention that sometimes when a girl says friends it means she wants to get to know you better before getting into the physical stuff rather than a nope you have no chance not ever. If you really like the girl might be worth asking for clarification, if she's trying to say slow down turbo or if she's saying not if you were the last man on earth.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,209
4,698
113
#10
I know this is a lot of information to take in, and some of it seems a bit weird or silly, but I know from first-hand experience that it works—sometimes too well. If you practice and master what I teach, I'm convinced you will find the person of your dreams to marry. But there will be rare instances when a woman simply wants a quick fling. She may even offer to invite a friend or two. So, for obvious reasons, always be praying in the Holy Spirit to help you flee temptation and sexual sin.

Questions? Leave me a private message, and I'll get back ASAP.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful replies and responses.
Steve,

I genuinely have to smile and appreciate your eagerness and willingness to help others (offering to answer any questions, etc.) I think you have a genuine and beautiful heart towards truly wanting to help singles.

But may I please ask, and feel free to give me a good verbal lashing if I'm out of place, but I believe you mentioned your son in another post. If "you're convinced what you teach will find the person of your dreams to marry," may I humbly ask... Why this didn't work with your son's mother?

Now I realize there could be a whole host of reasons. Maybe you weren't Christians before you developed your fool-proof method. Maybe there are other situations I shouldn't even ask about, so as I said please feel free to put me in my place. I once dated a man who was never married to the mother of his youngest children, and she had passed away by the time I met him.

I'm in a lot of Financial Management chats and I can't help but thinking that what you are conveying, while I'm sure is of utmost sincerity and has worked for you in some cases, has a familiar tone of the people in finance who are promising to double, triple, and multiply your money beyond your wildest dreams "if you just follow my tried and true methods."

Then of course it surfaces that many of these people are renting the luxury cars, watches, and residences they show off (some don't even rent -- they just sneak the footage whenever they can without paying,) and have no substance to their claims.

I'm certainly not saying you don't have any personal experience or success with your methods.

But what I am saying is that if someone is presenting something as having an almost indisputable success rate, especially when dating and marrying...

I'm pretty sure even God would nudge even the most I-want-this-more-than-anyone believer to question this.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#11
I’ve been single for years now and I’ve been friend zoning several guys. Not because I don’t like them, but because I’m too messed up myself to make anybody go through a relationship with me. Think about that, guys, oftentimes the friend zoning part is about the girl herself and not you.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,832
13,449
113
#12
A woman who considers you friend material will never consider you husband material. Thank her for her honesty and move on. You’ve wasted only your time or, if you’re silly enough to think ‘chivalry’ means paying her tab, your money. There are cheaper ways to learn.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#13
A woman who considers you friend material will never consider you husband material. Thank her for her honesty and move on. You’ve wasted only your time or, if you’re silly enough to think ‘chivalry’ means paying her tab, your money. There are cheaper ways to learn.
I don’t fully agree. If I really like somebody I would not make them go through the ordeal being with me. I just shove them away and then be crushed afterwards. Of course, that’s because I’m not mentally well, but men should start considering that a woman they’re pursuing is not necessarily totally balanced. My point is that they should not take the blame for it every time. Friend zoning has so many reasons.
 

Niki7

Well-known member
Feb 21, 2023
2,145
799
113
#14
seems the lady had her own taste in men and y'all were not included?

your list of what went wrong is a problem in and of itself

mutual attraction is the basis for most boyfriend/girlfriend relationships which may or may not, result in marriage etc
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,514
160
63
#16
I was also wanting to mention that sometimes when a girl says friends it means she wants to get to know you better before getting into the physical stuff rather than a nope you have no chance not ever. If you really like the girl might be worth asking for clarification, if she's trying to say slow down turbo or if she's saying not if you were the last man on earth.
My thoughts exactly. I'd probably phrase it like "I need to get to know you better first", but a guy moving that fast would make me question if we were right for each other. If I jumped into serious relationships that quickly or easily I probably wouldn't still be single 🙄.

I'd much rather spend the walk picking apart the psychological validity of the vapid chick flick I just sat through. Would have to give the guy props for using expiring coupons on the tickets though, I value a man with a sense of frugality 😎.
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,514
160
63
#17
A woman who considers you friend material will never consider you husband material.
I certainly do not speak for all women, but if I do not consider a man friend material I CAN NOT consider him husband material. 🤔

(Admittedly this could be why I'm still single 😅)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,209
4,698
113
#18
I don’t fully agree. If I really like somebody I would not make them go through the ordeal being with me. I just shove them away and then be crushed afterwards. Of course, that’s because I’m not mentally well, but men should start considering that a woman they’re pursuing is not necessarily totally balanced. My point is that they should not take the blame for it every time. Friend zoning has so many reasons.
I love the honesty in your responses.

It makes me think of something I mentioned in another post, that second marriages have twice the divorce rate of first ones, often for the very reason you are stating -- people have not been honest about their own issues and won't face them or do anything to work on themselves.

How many of us have talked to/dated someone we later realize has no business dating (even if it's ourselves?)

Most people are so emotionally unwell and convinced being with someone is the answer that they don't care whose lives they blow up in the process -- they will find any and every means to be with someone they can, because for them, being alone is NOT an option.

I'm definitely NOT saying this in criticism because I speak as having been like this in the past.

For some reason we never see "No" as a blessing, but how many of us can testify that sometimes it really is.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,832
13,449
113
#19
I don’t fully agree. If I really like somebody I would not make them go through the ordeal being with me. I just shove them away and then be crushed afterwards. Of course, that’s because I’m not mentally well, but men should start considering that a woman they’re pursuing is not necessarily totally balanced. My point is that they should not take the blame for it every time. Friend zoning has so many reasons.
Fair enough; I had not read your previous post before making mine. That said, if another person puts you in the friend zone for any reason, pushing harder will likely end badly. Better to give them space, and if they change their mind, it’s on them to communicate that. :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,374
8,385
113
#20
Imagine you're on your second date with your dream woman, and things seem to be going well. The conversation is good, and the walk you are on is quiet and undisturbed. You decide to lean in for the first kiss, and she pulls away. "I'm sorry," she says. "I hope I haven't led you on, but I really only want to be friends right now."

She just dropped the dreaded word no man wants to hear from any woman they are pursuing right on your head. It's the horrible FRIEND label that will crush any hope of you and her ever having a romantic relationship, let alone getting married and having children.

At this point, she has relegated you to her long list of "guy friends" who will NEVER have any chance of getting past a handshake. At best, you will be her sounding board and therapist for when she breaks up with one of her REAL boyfriends. At worst, you will be her doormat, always there to be led by a leash to do her bidding.

So, what happened?

You'll have to retrace your steps way back to when you first introduced yourself:

-Did you flirt with her, or were you merely conversing with her as you would another man?

-Do you dress like a man or a teenage boy? (more on this in another post)

-Are you lighthearted and fun, or are you always complaining about the economy or how horrible the service is at the restaurant?

-Did you pay for the first date or "go Dutch?" Remember, the man ALWAYS pays. It shows you are generous and, at the same time, have your life together. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do.

-Did you look into her eyes at least once during the first date? Holding your eyes on hers for a split second more than is comfortable is even more powerful. But only once per encounter, for obvious reasons. It shouldn't be a staring contest but a natural gaze into the wonders of her soul.

-Do you smile? I mean, really smile. Or are you frowning and serious most of the time? Check out your smile in the mirror and see if you can't improve on it. The bigger your smile, the more inviting you look. Practice in the mirror until it comes naturally. If you can master this one thing, you will have an advantage over 95% of all the other men out there. Smiling is a serious business.

-Did you talk about romantic things on the first date, or did you go into a diatribe about how unfair "the dating game" is? The best things to talk to a woman about are vacations, travel, books she has read, the favorite part of her day, etc. Be creative!

-Do you seem too eager and available? When setting up the second date, only give a few choices for dates and times. Don't say, "I'm really available anytime. I'll work with your schedule." You should always convey that you have a life outside of pursuing her and that your time is just as important as hers. This is why I advocate for at least talking to more than one woman at a time. It doesn't mean you are some kind of player who has relationships with a dozen women. It simply means you have made contact or flirted with a few gals here and there. This way, if things go south, as they have here, you have seeds planted elsewhere. Nuff said.

-On the first date, did you simply say goodbye or shake her hand? NEVER EVER shake the hand of a woman you are trying to pursue a relationship with. After all, does a husband and wife shake hands when they see each other after a long day? Of course not! They always kiss and hug each other. Eventually, you will lean in for that first kiss. But if you shake her hand like you would with a guy, she will automatically reach for the big red button that says "F-Bomb!"


A quick warning

I know this is a lot of information to take in, and some of it seems a bit weird or silly, but I know from first-hand experience that it works—sometimes too well. If you practice and master what I teach, I'm convinced you will find the person of your dreams to marry. But there will be rare instances when a woman simply wants a quick fling. She may even offer to invite a friend or two. So, for obvious reasons, always be praying in the Holy Spirit to help you flee temptation and sexual sin.

Questions? Leave me a private message, and I'll get back ASAP.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful replies and responses.
Are you married?

Reason I ask is, I only take gardening advice from somebody who has a flourishing garden.