Please Help Me

I just happened to see the message he sent for help that day, so I was very worried about him later. It is the ninth day of your place and the 10th day of my time. He still hasn't come here, and I haven't received his reply. I'm very worried about whether he's still alive. And thank you for praying for that brother! God will commemorate your efforts, God bless you!

I’ve been back stepping a lot. An event caused me to go back to my old sinful and unhealthy habits. I had this need for validation from others (mainly women) come back so I can feel like I’m actually worth anything. I have just been feeling so useless. I’ve been giving so much to people and I feel like I’m not appreciated for any of it. Even when I do my volunteer work I feel like I’m not making a difference. Loneliness started to creep in on me. Finally I took a stand and allowed my soul to be rested in Christ. I took a while to rest in him and have him show me what’s going on. He revealed that I am just struggling with doubt. Doubt if him,doubt of a specific thing he’s been telling me,doubt of my abilities,doubt of who I am etc. And it all made sense I started to feel hopeful and dropped my bad habits and started doing healthier things. It’s been put on my heart to use my arts for the Lord so I started writing a short film like I used to, but to honor him more. And I felt I needed to start some sort of podcast to help young men navigate life in a Godly manner. I was feeling great until a wall of anger and sadness just hit me. It was reminding me what was going on in my life. How I’m losing people close to me, how people are starting to just leave me. Old fears started to come back. I felt anger with myself and everyone around me. A lot of the people I have as my support group aren’t available right now or I don’t want to bother them with my issues with what they’ve got going on. Now I’m at a point where I feel trapped on this planet. I feel taking my life might be my only freedom. I feel like I’m trying to cry out for help to the Lord but I can’t calm my mind and he can’t hear me. I’m so confused and lost. I feel alone and it’s unbearable.