Take your pick:
As a kid my mom began developing different health issues and at times being in the hospital. She caught a bad disease at her job and required a liver/lung transplant.
My dad had to keep working but was dedicated to taking care of her. So I didn't have to do much.
But one night it was just her and I. She ended up passing out, falling onto the side of the tub. I called 911 and had to move her to a better position. Not easy to move a person that's passed out as a scrawny teen. I'd never had to deal with something like this and was panicked to be responsible, as well as worrying about my mom.
My parents picked out a house to retire in after spending months looking. That same night she died. I was 21. So I'd spent 12 years watching my mom grow sicker and sicker till she died.
Also at 21 I had a fiance. She was preparing to move to my area, found a job, put money down on an apartment. We went to get her things and once we packed it all up she told me she wasn't ready to leave yet and was staying behind. Crushed me.
When my mom died she said she'd come to the funeral, a 4 hour drive for her. But she had bought something very expensive and I explained there was no way we could afford it when she did decide to move down.
I told her I didn't want to be married and work constantly and never see each other. She disagreed. When I insisted she'd have to give up her expensive purchase she became angry with me and refused to come to my mom's funeral.
A few months later she ghosted me while all along acting as if things were good between us.
Developed hypertension in my 20s that kick started my anxiety problems that I still contend with decades later.
Hypertension caused kidney problems and in my early 30s I had to go on dialysis and wait for a transplant. 4 years of dialysis. The whole time I was in and out of the hospital and ER and doctors offices for a variety of problems. Felt like literally half of my time was in one of those places, the hospital was a second home.
The worst of it started a few months after moving in with my dad. A retired senior at this point. He ended up needing to take care of me. After spending a decade taking care of my mom, who needed a transplant, but died, now his son is in the same situation. No doubt scary.
The hypertension caused the kidney issues, the kidney issues caused hip problems which require me to need both hips replaced but due to the meds I take for my transplant I'm at higher risk of infection, so they're wary of giving me surgery unless required. 8 years later and it's still not required, but affects my life every day.
As a result of the meds, I developed mouth cancer, needed to have surgery and radiation treatment. The surgery and radiation screwed up my ability to speak and had numerous affects on my face which I put in a post recently.
My sister had developed cancer almost 1 year to the month I was diagnosed, but a year earlier. They gave her 3 months to live. She didn't last longer than a month. So I had those thoughts in mind when I was diagnosed.
2 years later (a few months ago) I was told I may have brain cancer. It took a month for me to get the results. I did not have it.
Mind you months before this my father's mind and health deteriorated enough to require him to have to be taken from his home, where we lived together for 15 year, to go into a long term care facility. Leaving me alone in the house.
I've been watching his mental capacity slipping away with every visit. I doubt he'll survive the year. And I've not been able to visit him in weeks, which sucks.
And my siblings, the only family that talks to me, think I'm making excuses for not going to see him and pressure me.
I live on disability that won't last forever and is not enough for me to afford an apartment and pay my bills.
My siblings often show little concern regarding my health issues and seem to think I hide behind them as an excuse to not do things.
They boss me around and try to dictate my life and sometimes treat me like an idiot. I had a different father than they did, but we grew up together still. So they're much closer to each other and back each other up. Also both are control freaks and my brother has power of attorney over everything of my dad's.
We got into a disagreement a few nights ago and he got mad and said he wanted me out of the house and that he didn't care what happened to me. Which, for me means living in my car (for the second time in my life) but having all my health problems and needing medical supplies delivered as well as medications. Needing access to running water and to electricity for health related issues.
They are the only two people I communicate with locally, as well. Only other person I talk to is in another country. So I will have no one locally if I have to move into my car.
Yes, second time in my car. At 22 I moved across the country and moved in with a woman. The only person I knew there. After 5 years she managed to move to a new apartment, where she decided she didn't want me to continue staying with her. But wanted to continue dating. She told me this 2 weeks, maybe less, before she was to be out of her current apartment. And Only then because I mentioned my living in the new place.
I didn't have a lot of money but managed to find a room for rent I could afford. 6 months later they suddenly announced They were moving out of state in 2 weeks. I didn't have the money to put down on a new apartment and they wouldn't give me my initial down payment until they were literally minutes from driving off to move.
5 years I was in my car. It was a misdemeanor to sleep in your car there and I dealt with the police what seemed every month or two.
Add to that my gf would call me up nightly and complain about her life, sometimes for hours, then fall asleep when I finally started talking.
She was helpful at first at least. Letting me shower and take a nap during the day, letting me spend from morning to night in her place on weekends. Eventually that started get less and less. She started making excuses for why I couldn't come over. Or not letting me in as early on weekends. It eventually became so bad I would only see her once a week, where we would meet for lunch (that I was expected to pay for) and maybe watch a movie at her place. But she still liked to call and complain about how bad her life was. And denied that she had been pulling back on helping me.
When I finally gave up and decided to move across the country to live with my dad, she suddenly found a way to let me stay with her. Suddenly she was all lovey dovey again. But it wasn't long she began complaining about the cost of me being there. I had lost my job and car and had no money, hence my decision to move. I finally decided to make the move after that started.
And special mention, when I was in my car I had to have surgery, appendix removed. Even when I was released from the hospital she wouldn't let me stay even one night. I spent the first night or two in my car. Another friend of mine found out and her and her husband let me stay a few days in their apartment. Fed me without complaint. And even gave me some food for when I left. And her husband isn't even a friendly guy.
I could literally spend hours going over more things and including details and stories within the stories I've already shared. I left so much out. And didn't touch on other things.
So worst thing to happen in my life? Hard to pick just one.
3
/...xox...
