When the Only Time You Hear from People -- Is For a Fundraiser/Bake Sale/Social Media Following/Business They're Trying to Keep Alive...

I just want to quickly clarify something. When I mentioned chuckling earlier, in no way was I laughing about the very real and damaging effects of bullying. I am aware that many people have gone so far as to take their own lives due to the negative effects of bullying, and that is no laughing matter. In my case, I was chuckling because, on my car ride to work yesterday, my mind was being flooded with memories of those who seemingly are somewhat afraid of me when there is nothing to be afraid of. Even that doesn't sound right. It is hard for me to properly express or articulate things at times, and that I why I normally just talk about God, and not about myself. I am sorry if I gave anybody the wrong impression with my comments from earlier today or if I possibly caused any unintended offense.

No worries at all, Keeping.

It's a joy to know that bullying has not really been a part of your life -- praise God!

But it's even more comforting to know that you have so much compassion on those who have gone through it.

We all go through challenges and your pains and burdens are no less than anyone else -- as fellow Christians, it's our honor to try to help carry them with you.

For whatever it is worth, it has been somewhat comforting to see that other people are going through things similar to what I have been going through for years. The reason why I say "somewhat comforting" is because I do not want my comments to sound like "misery loves company" types of comments. In other words, I am certainly not rejoicing that others are suffering in ways similar to me, nor am I looking to start or join a pity party.

But even worse is when you are asked to do coffee service for young adults and they have to cancel the whole night for some reason, and you have prepared/baked everything and gone to the grocery store and when you arrive to the place, there is only a locked door waiting for you. Phone call to them and getting "Sorry, we forgot to inform you." Yes, mistakes happen, we are human after all, and I forgave them of course. But that was ages ago, and we were young and I am no longer in contact with them. Some are no longer Christian or have left the church. Never really was that close to them to beging with.

I can relate to that, it is not like you want or are happy that others are or have gone through the same, but it is more like that you are not alone, knowing that you are not the only one. It can give some strenght too, if you know someone else is going through those same things and maybe they have overcome them.
It is hard these days when if looking the social media, all we see is the highlighted moments, the best times, rarely we see the real life, so it makes one feel separated, different and only ones that have hardships etc.




So to the question of the thread:

Here I am feeling a bit down for not being asked to bake anything for the upcoming bake sale.. and yes, that is the only time they contact me, but usually it is the elderly ladies who run the bake sale so I do not really expect the to keep in contact with me otherwise.

Whenever I am contacted for a bake sale, I feel happy, as I love to help people and bake too.. I feel connection, unity, sort of... yes, I wish I would have more unity with people at church. But at least at those moments I am remembered.
I don't know if it is just me but nowadays it feels like there is no real unity between Christians, what I see for example: my mom having with her Christian friends. What it was when she was my age, how Christians got together more, or then it is just me being an introvert and not fitting in, like a potato in a flower field. Then again, I have heard same from others, if one is not the loudest they don't fit in even in a church.

But I think it would be different if asking for donations, like, subs etc, it seems more cold to me. I don't know why I think I would feel the difference between baking for someone or giving money. That doesn't even make sense to me. Or if the person were close to my age, then it might be not a good feeling. Well, no one contacts me anyways

But even worse is when you are asked to do coffee service for young adults and they have to cancel the whole night for some reason, and you have prepared/baked everything and gone to the grocery store and when you arrive to the place, there is only a locked door waiting for you. Phone call to them and getting "Sorry, we forgot to inform you." Yes, mistakes happen, we are human after all, and I forgave them of course. But that was ages ago, and we were young and I am no longer in contact with them. Some are no longer Christian or have left the church. Never really was that close to them to beging with.

Also have been the personal therapist for one friend. We are no longer friends, as she wasn't interested how I am doing at all. She did same things to me, what her other friend did to her, and she needed unload all her feelings to me to feel better herself..


Btw, I was almost like you in terms of making new friends.. When I still was unbeliever, and started to go to the church, I had sworn to never ever make friends, not even one! Boom, I found my best friend. Even though my first thought of her was "she is a snob" due to something she said and how she acted We laugh about that now and I couldn't have been further away from the truth, well, at least nowadays....

Now I still wish to make new friends but it seems hard to find likeminded people as an introvert.
Again like a potato: Potato doesn't spread out like a flower does, let's say dandelions seeds fly a long way and spread, finds new grounds. But a potato stays put in one ground if there isn't something/one to help it move. Potato grows underground most parts, but maybe flowers a bit at some point.
I don't take the initiative move towards other people easily, not like a dandelion would, with its seeds flying around reaching everywhere. When a potato puts those tiny flowers and tries to reach out, it is not seen nor heard in the field of other stunning and clamorous flowers.
Oh, maybe that went a little bit out off the original topic..


I would be bummed too if I would think I am receiving a package and then it would be a request to donate something instead. Package (or even a letter saying hello) is for you.. but donation is for someone else. "Here is a candy for y.. no, actually, will you buy it for me?"




@keepingthingsreal

Workplace safety intruction, guess no one really follows them anywhere.. But glad nothing serious happened to you.

Yeah, don't try that at home, how about this at work then?
Some of my co-worker do the same spiderman-thing, but then ... then another time, someone needs to lift them up with the forklift to pick some bags (55lbs/25kg), because they do not want to take the whole pallet down with the forklift to take a few of those bags and then lift the pallet back up.. I am the one who may asked to lift them up, never ever would I go up there myself on those forks. And I propably shouldn't lift them either..

Oh my goodness, yes! This happens to me SO much!

I've even thought about starting a thread about being forgotten, but I couldn't figure out a way to do it that did not sound whiny.

I can't tell you how many times I have shown up to church and nobody else was there for singing practice or something. Everybody else knew, but nobody thought to tell me.

Or at my job, which is a McDonald's, there are no set times for lunch break. The manager has to send you on break whenever business and staffing permits. Everybody else gets a lunch break and I'm there at 2:00 p.m. still working away... Um, Hey boss, when am I getting my break? "Oh shoot, I forgot all about you! Sorry!" Yeah, thanks a lot. Not getting a lunch break didn't hurt nearly as much as being told that you just forgot all about me. Again.

I don't know why. I'm not exactly forgettable, as in people remember they have met me. They sure do remember having talked to me. But I seem to be forgettable, as in people forget that I am present at this time, or part of the group that is changing their plans.

@keepingthingsreal

Workplace safety intruction, guess no one really follows them anywhere.. But glad nothing serious happened to you.

In hindsight, I was very fortunate. Had the box hit me in a slightly different spot, then it could have poked out my eye, broken my cheekbone, knocked out some teeth, or even killed me if it had hit me in the temple. As it turned out, I had some soreness in my jaw all day, and I initially had some puffiness in my lower lip which went away pretty quickly. Rather than try to explain it with words, here is an "after" photo so you can all see that I am now okay.

View attachment 270384

Okay, maybe I need to apply just a little more ice to reduce any residual swelling.

In all seriousness, that sounded like it could have been a real doozy and I'm really glad you're ok!

I can relate to that, it is not like you want or are happy that others are or have gone through the same, but it is more like that you are not alone, knowing that you are not the only one. It can give some strenght too, if you know someone else is going through those same things and maybe they have overcome them.
It is hard these days when if looking the social media, all we see is the highlighted moments, the best times, rarely we see the real life, so it makes one feel separated, different and only ones that have hardships etc.




So to the question of the thread:

Here I am feeling a bit down for not being asked to bake anything for the upcoming bake sale.. and yes, that is the only time they contact me, but usually it is the elderly ladies who run the bake sale so I do not really expect the to keep in contact with me otherwise.

Whenever I am contacted for a bake sale, I feel happy, as I love to help people and bake too.. I feel connection, unity, sort of... yes, I wish I would have more unity with people at church. But at least at those moments I am remembered.
I don't know if it is just me but nowadays it feels like there is no real unity between Christians, what I see for example: my mom having with her Christian friends. What it was when she was my age, how Christians got together more, or then it is just me being an introvert and not fitting in, like a potato in a flower field. Then again, I have heard same from others, if one is not the loudest they don't fit in even in a church.

But I think it would be different if asking for donations, like, subs etc, it seems more cold to me. I don't know why I think I would feel the difference between baking for someone or giving money. That doesn't even make sense to me. Or if the person were close to my age, then it might be not a good feeling. Well, no one contacts me anyways

But even worse is when you are asked to do coffee service for young adults and they have to cancel the whole night for some reason, and you have prepared/baked everything and gone to the grocery store and when you arrive to the place, there is only a locked door waiting for you. Phone call to them and getting "Sorry, we forgot to inform you." Yes, mistakes happen, we are human after all, and I forgave them of course. But that was ages ago, and we were young and I am no longer in contact with them. Some are no longer Christian or have left the church. Never really was that close to them to beging with.

Also have been the personal therapist for one friend. We are no longer friends, as she wasn't interested how I am doing at all. She did same things to me, what her other friend did to her, and she needed unload all her feelings to me to feel better herself..


Btw, I was almost like you in terms of making new friends.. When I still was unbeliever, and started to go to the church, I had sworn to never ever make friends, not even one! Boom, I found my best friend. Even though my first thought of her was "she is a snob" due to something she said and how she acted We laugh about that now and I couldn't have been further away from the truth, well, at least nowadays....

Now I still wish to make new friends but it seems hard to find likeminded people as an introvert.
Again like a potato: Potato doesn't spread out like a flower does, let's say dandelions seeds fly a long way and spread, finds new grounds. But a potato stays put in one ground if there isn't something/one to help it move. Potato grows underground most parts, but maybe flowers a bit at some point.
I don't take the initiative move towards other people easily, not like a dandelion would, with its seeds flying around reaching everywhere. When a potato puts those tiny flowers and tries to reach out, it is not seen nor heard in the field of other stunning and clamorous flowers.
Oh, maybe that went a little bit out off the original topic..


I would be bummed too if I would think I am receiving a package and then it would be a request to donate something instead. Package (or even a letter saying hello) is for you.. but donation is for someone else. "Here is a candy for y.. no, actually, will you buy it for me?"




@keepingthingsreal

Workplace safety intruction, guess no one really follows them anywhere.. But glad nothing serious happened to you.

Yeah, don't try that at home, how about this at work then?
Some of my co-worker do the same spiderman-thing, but then ... then another time, someone needs to lift them up with the forklift to pick some bags (55lbs/25kg), because they do not want to take the whole pallet down with the forklift to take a few of those bags and then lift the pallet back up.. I am the one who may asked to lift them up, never ever would I go up there myself on those forks. And I propably shouldn't lift them either..

We, the Christians, are created to shine our light in a dark and hopelessly lost world.

And we are admonished to "make the most of every opportunity ".

Because being old and alone is not a life goal worth anything to anyone including God.

In order to have friend, you must first be a friend. IOW being quiet, sullen, and with a sour look on your face is not going to get you anything but old and alone. When did you, yourself last reach out to anyone to just check in on people? Especially ones who might be needing a friend.

Yes, being friendly is extremely expensive, annoying, and inconvenient at times. It interrupts your day at the most inopportune time. Which time is something that we ALL have exactly the same amount of. Money comes and goes and everyone has varying amounts available for gifting....no biggie. Totally irrelevant. But time? Now we talking about real things.

In order to have a friend you must first be a friend. Nobody cares if they don't know how much you care about them.

The parable of soils is always looked at the exact wrong way. The condition of the various soils was caused by people. Ignorance, walked on, neglect or carefully cared for determines whether the soil is any good or not. People determine whether the soil can or will be good for growing crops.

How have you assisted in "regaining" fertile ground?

That's the determining factor that matters. And somehow....you don't end up alone being a lifetime giver instead of taker.

Actually just last week this happened. Friday I got a message at 5:53 p.m. that we were having practice at 6:00 p.m.

View attachment 270385

One, why was I not in the group text? Two, can you make a group text including me?

But I got there at 6:01 anyway.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this completely relatable post. There was so much here that I found myself nodding right along with and I'm sure others are doing the same.


Praise God for maintaining your cheerful, giving attitude! ❤️


And I would love to taste test your amazing baking skills anytime. I'll help pay for ingredients, will pay for/bring the coffee or any beverages of your choice, and will happily do the dishes.

In hindsight, I was very fortunate. Had the box hit me in a slightly different spot, then it could have poked out my eye, broken my cheekbone, knocked out some teeth, or even killed me if it had hit me in the temple. As it turned out, I had some soreness in my jaw all day, and I initially had some puffiness in my lower lip which went away pretty quickly. Rather than try to explain it with words, here is an "after" photo so you can all see that I am now okay.

View attachment 270384

Okay, maybe I need to apply just a little more ice to reduce any residual swelling.

Well, maybe just a couple of ice cubes would be enough...
View attachment 270417



But in all seriousness, it could have been really bad, I think you had guardian a angel there for you.



Btw, it is hard to find English counterparts for finnish words.. it just does not come out the same as it would in my language...