Single men & churches

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A meeting that lasts for 2 hours would make me fall asleep. I just can't handle it.
 
seoulsearch said:
Remarriage and blended families (those in which the spouses have had previous marriages and usually have children from them) is very common in the USA.

It's actually becoming rare to find "original, intact" families -- ones in which the mom and dad are still married, and all their children are only from each other -- not from previous partners.
Click to expand...
The church ladies I know who got divorced didn't want to marry again. Once was enough, even the widowed ones.
I think it only works if the widower is young that they want or need to marry again.
 
  • Like
Reactions: celras
Unless they committed adultery of course.
But who knows, that's not meant to be any of my business.
 
  • Like
Reactions: celras
seoulsearch said:
Remarriage and blended families (those in which the spouses have had previous marriages and usually have children from them) is very common in the USA.

It's actually becoming rare to find "original, intact" families -- ones in which the mom and dad are still married, and all their children are only from each other -- not from previous partners.

You brought up an excellent topic that rarely gets talked about -- welcome to CC, @celras!
Click to expand...
Thank you very much, Seoulsearch. Are you a man or a woman?
 
seoulsearch said:
Remarriage and blended families (those in which the spouses have had previous marriages and usually have children from them) is very common in the USA.

It's actually becoming rare to find "original, intact" families -- ones in which the mom and dad are still married, and all their children are only from each other -- not from previous partners.

You brought up an excellent topic that rarely gets talked about -- welcome to CC, @celras!
Click to expand...
Marriage is a relationship between two people for an indefinite period of time, until one of them - usually the woman - says it is over.
 
celras said:
Marriage is a relationship between two people for an indefinite period of time, until one of them - usually the woman - says it is over.
Click to expand...
Modern days, yeah, kind of.
But biblically and old traditions, marriage last life time.
Most of my social cycle are all life time marriages, including non believers.

Like I said, it is like a local church commitment. The good and ugly, no one is perfect, but we honor the covenant.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sculpt, celras and dkontner
Lanolin said:
Jesus didnt command me to go or stay in a local church. We are pilgrims on our way to heaven.
Click to expand...
Well, I'm not knocking christians communicating with modern technology... forums, video meetings, etc... but I'd just say I believe scripture calls us to meet together in physical person.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

1 Corinthians 14:26 When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.
 
  • Like
  • Pray
Reactions: celras, seoulsearch and Churchgoer
Sculpt said:
Well, I'm not knocking christians communicating with modern technology... forums, video meetings, etc... but I'd just say I believe scripture calls us to meet together in physical person.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

1 Corinthians 14:26 When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.
Click to expand...
By committing to a local church, we learn so much through sermons, Bible studies, serving together, friendship together, evangelizing together, be the salt and light for the community ✨....
Blessing over blessings 🙏
 
  • Pray
  • Like
Reactions: seoulsearch, celras and Sculpt
The OP has raised some valid points. I don't understand why they're seen as controversial. Single men are sometimes seen as "weird" or "immature" in some Christian circles and it does no good to put one's head in the sand about it.

We don't have to ignore the needs & concerns of one group in order to address the needs and concerns of another one.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sculpt, dkontner, Churchgoer and 1 other person
NotmebutHim said:
The OP has raised some valid points. I don't understand why they're seen as controversial. Single men are sometimes seen as "weird" or "immature" in some Christian circles and it does no good to put one's head in the sand about it.

We don't have to ignore the needs & concerns of one group in order to address the needs and concerns of another one.
Click to expand...
Single men are very welcome to our church 😄 please come.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: seoulsearch and celras
cinder said:
I read it, I believe on the advice of another frustrated single guy I met on cc ( who evaluated churches in part by how many of the worship songs sounded like they could easily be sung to a boyfriend rather than god). It's been several years since I read it but a couple of the bits I remember to illustrate the original statement were things like asking groups of christians what sins were men prone to and what sins wonen were prone to (and usually all the sins we talk about alot are seen as male sins) and the idea that exhortations to admit you can't do it and just surrender to God's love and trust him answer the deepest longings in a woman's soul (to be loved and accepted) but force men to face their deepest fears (that they aren't capable or competent enough). I do recommend it as it was rather eye opening.
Click to expand...
This sounds like an interesting read.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sculpt
seoulsearch said:
I'm truly sorry for the harsh treatment single men get, both in the church and in society.

Cinder hit the nail on the head here, and all in one shot. Single women are at least seen as somewhat useful (such as in children's ministries, but then comes the problem of automatically expecting single women to be free babysitters,) but single men are eyed with suspicion, as others here have pointed out.

I can certainly understand why it might seem very unwelcoming for single men to attend most churches. I just read an article saying that even in churches with singles ministries, there seems to be more emphasis on helping the ladies find husbands rather than helping the men find wives. Part of this could be leftover whiffs of the thought that a woman absolutely needs a man to survive, but men are supposed to be strong and self-sustaining.

It's going to be interesting to see what the church morphs into within the next 10, 20 years. When I was young (at a conservative Lutheran church,) those who were divorced and/or single parents were looked at as a much lower and less-than-desirable social class.

These days, most churches are full of people in those categories -- along with those on 2nd, 3rd, etc. marriages.

While God's Word is eternal, I wonder how churches are going to have to adapt in order to survive. I recently heard a statistic saying that a time is coming when 60% of people in church will be singles.

In other words, the churches are about to have a collision course with something they've never seen or dealt before -- singles now being the majority. It's going to be a bumpy ride, because churches have always been built by and around those who are married. Most churches have no idea how to minister to singles or blended families (at least, not that I've seen, but I'm sure there are many variations.)

So what happens when these populations become the majority of the churches?

I'm guessing that churches are going to have to learn how to minister to singles, the divorced, and the remarried -- because if they don't, they're going to die off.
Click to expand...
I am a single (widowed) man. Personally I don't go to church to look for or meet women, although I'm not against it happening.
I do not and really haven't felt this "sidelining" or "suspicion" in the churches I've been at. Maybe having children makes a difference. Maybe it's a regional thing, not sure.
But I do feel welcome at my church. I am involved and have been challenged to do things that I have not done before but have been good for me.
There are single ladies as well. Most in their mid 60s or older.

The book cinder mentioned sounds quite interesting.

Anyway, some of my 2 cents.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: RodB651, Sculpt, Churchgoer and 1 other person
cinder said:
Because most churches operate more on a feminized emotional model (see the book why men hate going to church) and what's the church got to say to a guy who isn't a father or husband except something like "don't have a sex drive or at least don't be creepy enough to admit you want to sleep with a beautiful lady". So unless your life is a complete mess that church might help you sort out, well it's totally understandable that they feel sidelined or like church is irrelevant and then they stop showing up and all the single christian women are like... where's all the men at?
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how I missed this topic...

Anyhow, excellent point!
 
  • Like
Reactions: seoulsearch
cinder said:
the church got to say to a guy who isn't a father or husband except something like "don't have a sex drive or at least don't be creepy enough to admit you want to sleep with a beautiful lady".
Click to expand...

Back when I had security duties (its what happens when you're an older single), I noticed that every time a certain young woman sang in the services, there were two of our married guys that would sit closer to the front. Why did they do that? .. Well, she wore a mini skirt and she had nice legs.

Yeah, I noticed them too. But c'mon guys, don't let it be obvious that you noticed them. 🤷 Let's not be creepy! 🤔
 
  • Like
Reactions: Krumbeard and seoulsearch
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back