Giving up/what's the point of trying?

Many people have said bad things about me my WHOLE life, people even were saying that I'm evil and what if I am? what if I am evil.. every since I could remember I have always been a mean person to others. I look at other people and wish I were them. Every where I go, people just stop liking me. they will like me for only a moment, I think I have a true friend, then baam they just don't like me, some people have said I have a bad vibe, people said I am evil and have bad spirits on me, I'm always depressed, I can never seem to hold a smile anymore. Even the guy that I thought loved me doesn't even love me and he says I am evil too. When I'm angry I get this very evil temper and I get so mad, I don't know, I prayed God to forgive me and deliver me from getting this angry, I just feel like everyone else is better than me. I see no real reason for me to be alive. I try to left myself up and say I'm this or that but deep down I still feel the same, Now that I'm pregnant I wish my baby to be nothing like me. I don't even deserve to be a mother, if I can take it back I would. I rather be alone and try to fight on my own without getting in the way of others. I always pray that God will just take me away. but maybe God doesn't love me either, I question why I was born? My own mother didn't even want me, so in reality I have NO ONE, no friends, no family, no husband, a child, yes.. but for now he's all I have, I don't have no where else to go and I pray God provides me with shelter. At least that can help me get on my feet.

End the self loathing because God loves you. We project how we feel about ourselves to others. It's not personal sometimes. When people are being mean to you, it's not always about you. Sometimes they just project to you how much they hate themselves. Hurt people also hurt others because they have no love to give. Their love cup is empty. Be more understanding but also protect yourself and have boundaries so that mean people will not have power to abuse you. Not everyone is mean, there are still kind people around. Don't lose hope. And welcome to CC.

Matthew 11:28-30
[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.[/FONT]
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Just go to Jesus and give him all that demonic dark load. Your not evil sis. We arent made that way by God. The World likes to push us around so we become them. Let God help u sis
Ill be praying for you sister xx feel free to talk to me anytime
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Sounds to me like you need to see a psychologist. You either have deep personal issues that need to be dealt with, or mental issues that may need medication or counseling. Don't continue going alone, get some professional help.

If that was your advice to me, then thank you but I don't want someone like you who is clearly rude to say I have a mental illness! I'm sorry are you a doctor to diagnose me? I didn't think so. Instead think about encouraging and supporting someone who is struggling with feeling alone. Goodbye.

Thank you for taking time out to support me.

I still like you, no matter what they say about you!

I use to be angry all the time. One day I heard Dennis Prager say "if you act happy, eventually you'll be happy." He was right. One year going strong. My life is in ruins, but I'm happy.

Father God, please bless where2go, in Jesus name, Amen!

You actually mean 'enable' them by saying what they hope someone will say, don't you?

Actually, Ugly gave you some good advice. You DO need to go see a doctor. How else will you know whether you do have some mental issues or not? You can get medically sound, expert advice from a doctor. You won't find that on an open forum such as this one. So take Ugly's advice, and go see a doctor. And as Willie said, we aren't here to tell people what they want to hear. We tell them what they NEED to hear. So try to change this attitude of yours, and stop trying to do this alone. Without God, you are nothing and can do nothing. You came here asking for advice, and you've been given good advice by Ugly and Tinkerbell and others. You want to find out what's wrong with you, then go to a doctor. Get checked out thoroughly. And to gain some perspective on your situation, I suggest you read any testimony in the Testimonies forum, particularly those of Blain, TemporaryCircumstances, and myself. Blain and TC are awesome people who have been through more crap in their young lives, than any of us combined will ever go through. TC is only 14 years old, and she has been through cancer twice, been sexually and mentally abused, but do you see the user name she chose? TEMPORARY CIRCUMSTANCES. That's what any of our problems are, simply temporary circumstances. There are several other very strong people here, too many for me to mention. You would do well to talk to some of them, particularly Blain and TC.

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. It may seem difficult to believe, but you're not alone. And God loves you even when you don't "feel" like He does. God is much bigger than your failings and emotions and He will get you through this! I'm praying for you right now. I encourage you to check out my two notes at the bottom.

I have said a prayer for God to brighten up your day. It's not true that everyone is better than you. I'm sorry that you are so down on life but my answered prayer for you will certainly make a difference in your life. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.

Thank you but I do not need your "advice" either, backing up someone who clearly doesn't know me personally. How about you seek professional help? Goodbye.

No I don't need ANY permission FROM ANYONE to agree with me, I sought out prayers not to be bashed about my state of mind, do you really consider yourself a christian? Shouldn't you be fellow shipping instead of trying to gang up on someone who just asked for prayers, some of you people on this sight is a joke and use GOD to make up assumptions about someone you don't know. You need to ask yourself are you really a child of God acting like that! When Jesus is clearly LOVE AND HOPE... next time think about JESUS fruits AND HOW HE encouraged others and try to be more like him when it comes to others. GOODBYE!

I agree with you and I appreciate how you said that, but the ONLY person who clearly knows what I need is JESUS, some of you like to agree with others and gang up on people.. that's not REAL fellowship and that's not dwelling in the BODY of Christ. Don't try to condemn me if you DO NOT KNOW ME AT ALL. stop trying to be friends with people and gain people's approval instead answer someone with a Christ-like heart. I only simply ask for prayers, thank you again.

I appreciate you and thank you for praying, that's all I asked.

Thank you for being so KIND to me and thank you for the welcome

And many people here HAVE said they are praying, or will pray for you. Obviously you like this cruddy bad attitude that you got going on. Until you get a change of mind, God WILL NOT help you. YOU need to be proactive in bettering your life. You were given good advice here and have rejected it. If you expect us to join you in your wallow pit of self-misery, think again. We don't do that around here.

You came here asking for prayers. You have received them. You came here looking for advice and help. You received that also. It's not our problem if you choose to reject that.. I will definitely pray God blesses you with a better attitude than this one..

Who are you to say "GOD will not help me" Are you God? No.. Have a good day.