feeling a lot of shame and guilt

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Nov 9, 2019
52
54
18
19
San Francisco
#1
Hey everyone. I don't know what to say other than I'm feeling a lot of shame and guilt for things that I happened a long time ago. I feel so dirty and terrible. I've repented to God and I know He has forgiven me, but I still feel so broken. So please pray for my heart because it feels like it's breaking. I know I need to trust in God and I've been trying, but I just can't seem to forgive myself for what happened in the past.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,836
5,524
113
#2
Safe hugs, dear panther....Oh how this resonates with me. I get it!!! Have you read Luke 7:36-50? It has really helped me in the very things it seems you are facing. He loves you so much and you are so special. I do pray and am open to listen if you need to share more. I send prayers filled with care. Thank you for being so open. It is comforting to others who facing shame and brokenness, knowing they are not alone.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
2,209
1,671
113
#3
"Let us pray to understand, the past will never let go, until we let go of the past.
And, hopefully we learn something of value by our mistakes. Too often we impose
our own misery. I pray you find what is needed in your life, and move forward with
a positive attitude, that all is well...so long as you strive to keep God in your life, you
will do fine."
'Praise God'


11222005_472331862927347_7625372890121725284_n.jpg Friendly.png
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
9,600
1,897
113
#4
when we truly 'repent', then we know for 'sure' that our Saviour has forgiven us our 'past-sins',
and that we are 'freed-from-them', washed'= we begin to 'turn-away' from them,
changing our old-worldly-ways' into Godly behavior -
this doesn't happen in one day, or one month, or a year, it is a daily process after 'conversion' that we must put our
hearts and souls and minds totally into; the major stumbling block is usually the mind/emotions -
if we truly believe that we are 'forgiven', then if on the other hand we say that we are carrying past guilts,
then it must be an (illusionary or self-created guilt) -remember, guilt and conviction are two very different things...
introspection and prayer will certainly help us in discerning the difference...

we have to set-aside as much time as we can in order to draw closer to God, in every circumstance/moment...
 
Nov 9, 2019
52
54
18
19
San Francisco
#5
Safe hugs, dear panther....Oh how this resonates with me. I get it!!! Have you read Luke 7:36-50? It has really helped me in the very things it seems you are facing. He loves you so much and you are so special. I do pray and am open to listen if you need to share more. I send prayers filled with care. Thank you for being so open. It is comforting to others who facing shame and brokenness, knowing they are not alone.
I actually have not read that passage before. I just read it and I really liked it. Thank you so much for this recommendation. I'm sorry you've been suffering the same way.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,836
5,524
113
#6
I actually have not read that passage before. I just read it and I really liked it. Thank you so much for this recommendation. I'm sorry you've been suffering the same way.
Well thank you. I am so please He brought you comfort. He and His word are life changers. I am thankful for your post helped me remember His truth about His ultimate love and forgiveness and how He can use our darkened past for good.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
69,169
7,583
113
#7
Why are you staying stuck living in the past, when the past is gone and over with and you're now living in the future? It's time to move on, Paisley. Own up to your part in whatever happened and move past it.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,836
5,524
113
#8
Why are you staying stuck living in the past, when the past is gone and over with and you're now living in the future? It's time to move on, Paisley. Own up to your part in whatever happened and move past it.
You give wisdom to paisley, but it is not always that simple, but with God and intentional thought choices it is possible. I think forgiving self is much harder than forgiving others but God calls us to forgive all, including self. So you are right...but like if you have pain in your body and someone said just stop that, well it is possible but not always easy.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,836
5,524
113
#9
Also panther, you know there is a practical thing that does help, or it did me. Volunteer in a foodbank or in some capacity. It helped me get out of my overthinking to help me focus my thoughts on trying to help others. You find out who is actually helping because it is so healing and rewarding for you. I found out they helped me much more than I them. So many hurting ppl who need help. I bet one of your gifts is mercy. He can really use you. Well anyways, I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers.
 
Nov 9, 2019
52
54
18
19
San Francisco
#10
Also panther, you know there is a practical thing that does help, or it did me. Volunteer in a foodbank or in some capacity. It helped me get out of my overthinking to help me focus my thoughts on trying to help others. You find out who is actually helping because it is so healing and rewarding for you. I found out they helped me much more than I them. So many hurting ppl who need help. I bet one of your gifts is mercy. He can really use you. Well anyways, I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers.
Thank you so much for the suggestion! I have been hoping to get involved with volunteer work. Maybe I can start that soon.
 

EmilyFoster

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2018
1,268
1,036
113
#11
I’m very sorry to hear about your situation, my friend. I’m praying that God will fill you with the strength and peace only He can bring. May He work in a powerful way and give you wisdom as you look to Him. Also, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
9,600
1,897
113
#12
when we can get our focus on our Saviour, then the next thing would be to get our focus on our 'family'
and get busy fixing everything we can with them first and foremost, righting the wrongs that we have
done/allowed to them in our ignorance; if we can see them and appreciate our chance to 'change' from
wrong to right, this is so very important, for if we can't set our own house in order, then no matter
how we try to makes things right by doing 'other things' out-side', it simply won't work to
anyone's benefit...it can be one of our greatest struggles, righting the wrongs...
1TIM. 3:5.
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of The Church of God?)
 
Nov 9, 2019
52
54
18
19
San Francisco
#13
when we can get our focus on our Saviour, then the next thing would be to get our focus on our 'family'
and get busy fixing everything we can with them first and foremost, righting the wrongs that we have
done/allowed to them in our ignorance; if we can see them and appreciate our chance to 'change' from
wrong to right, this is so very important, for if we can't set our own house in order, then no matter
how we try to makes things right by doing 'other things' out-side', it simply won't work to
anyone's benefit...it can be one of our greatest struggles, righting the wrongs...
1TIM. 3:5.
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of The Church of God?)
Hey oldethennew. I really like this advice. While most of the shame and guilt I feel is about things that have affected me, I cannot deny that it has also hurt my family. I was very selfish and expected them to always be emotionally available for me. I think making amends with the people I love would be beneficial for not only my family but also myself.
 
Nov 19, 2019
42
13
8
#14
Christ said......Paisleypanth I didn't come to condemn you.. the world. He came to save it. He said "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus ". So if we repent He is faithful and just to forgive us to forgive us our sins and cleans us from ALL ALL ALL unrighteousness.

Don't go by feelings. He does not judge you nor condemn you. ALL this is the enemy. Focus on Christ that HE LOVES YOU! That HE DID already forgive you. You said you repented. He is not like man. When He said He is faithful.. just...to forgive us. Thats it. He did. And you now are the only one remember it. Well not the only one. Satan is using the PAST against you. So think.. these feelings thoughts.. if not from GOD then that means.. all these feelings are A LIE! This means.. He HAS forgiven me..

A song playing.. right now.. "All in (CB REmix) Heather Schnoor". He loves you. He is for you. So.. tell Satan your a liar.. get away from me.. flee. He HAS forgiven me.. I rejoice in the JOY of the lord that is mine. I have HIS strength I have HIS peace. I put on HIS armor.

Forgive your self. If HE is for you HOW in the WORLD can be against you? Go in peace... He has forgiven you!
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
616
606
93
#15
I would love to share a story but it might be a little long.
Many years ago there was a young couple who were in love and engaged to be married. One day a carnival came to town and to the shock and sorrow of the young man and their families, the girl ran away with one of the traveling men. The young man was heartbroken. The town rallied around him and he did his best to continue.
About a year later the girl returned, pregnant and alone. No one would have blamed him for shunning her and yelling at her but he didn't. He was kind. He would drop off food for her and also for the baby when it was born. The girl, now a young woman, could not bring herself to look at him or talk to him. This went on for a long time and might have continued until one incident.
The woman was out in a horse drawn cart and a bee stung the horse. The horse bucked and took off. The woman screamed and the man, who was nearby ran after the horse. He grabbed the reins but it did not stop. He was dragged along and the horse only slowed due to his weight. He was bloody and battered and barely moving. Eventually it came to a stop and the woman jumped down, shaking and screaming at the man. "Why? Why did you do this? Why didn't you let me die? I betrayed you. I was a fool and deserved every bad thing. Why couldn't you just leave me be?". The man looked up at her, the distress from his pain showing, "Don't you understand? My love for you is bigger than anything you could ever do." Two months later they were married.
You do not forgive yourself because you either think your sin is too great for God or, that in some small way, you can pay for your sin with guilt. Grace can be overwhelming. We don't want to see how much we don't deserve it. We want to earn some part of it. We feel if we remove ourselves from the joy of our salvation that we are getting what we deserve. If God won't punish us then we will.
I heard this story a long time ago and it broke my heart. I was arrogant. I felt I failed too often so therefore God made a mistake in saving me. Somehow I thought my journey was up a hill, instead of going forward.
You will have to accept the weight of grace. You will need to see and believe that God's love is bigger than your sin. You will have to allow all sin to be forgiven or else you are still refusing his Lordship. This is a hard truth but an essential one. Make reparations if you can but do not withhold God's mercy from yourself. Peace be to you.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
7,232
1,194
113
#16
Lord bless paisleypanther and this prayer request. Lord remove the feeling of shame and guilt and bless. Lord please bless paisleypanther with your grace and thoughts, in Jesus loving name, Amen!
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
9,600
1,897
113
#17
Hey oldethennew. I really like this advice. While most of the shame and guilt I feel is about things that have affected me, I cannot deny that it has also hurt my family. I was very selfish and expected them to always be emotionally available for me. I think making amends with the people I love would be beneficial for not only my family but also myself.
================================================
MATT. 22-23-24.
But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment:
and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council:
but whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23.
Therefore if you bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24.
Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother,
and then come and offer your gift.
 
Sep 29, 2018
30
15
8
#18
Hey everyone. I don't know what to say other than I'm feeling a lot of shame and guilt for things that I happened a long time ago. I feel so dirty and terrible. I've repented to God and I know He has forgiven me, but I still feel so broken. So please pray for my heart because it feels like it's breaking. I know I need to trust in God and I've been trying, but I just can't seem to forgive myself for what happened in the past.
I'm so sorry for the way you're feeling. I know that feeling. I've been there too. Probably all of us have at some time or another.
I can only share with you what I have learned in my own journey as a born-again Jesus-follower.

1. It is Satan who wants us to feel condemned and burdened with the sins or our past. He wants us defeated. The Bible calls him the accuser of the brethren. He does all the accusing.
2. I can't think of a single instance in historic records where God comes and throws someone's repented sins back in their face. Jesus blessed the adulterous woman that the Pharisees wanted to stone to death. He didn't tell her anymore more than "I don't condemn you. Now, go and sin no more." No scolding, no condemnation, just a sweet reminder not to do that anymore.
3. God says that we can "cast all of our cares on Him BECAUSE HE CARES FOR US" and that includes you; and that includes the burden of past sins haunting your conscience.
4. I used to fret and replay my old sins and beg God for forgiveness. Then, one day, God told me to stop telling Him about my old sins. He actually rebuked me for asking for forgiveness again. I think I was offensive to Him because I wasn't trusting Him when He says that He forgives COMPLETELY. I was already cleansed but I wasn't acting like I was.
5. We need to have faith that God is telling us the truth when He says that He has wiped away our sins and we are pure and clean now!
6. This might be the most important thing I have learned in this area: When we keep re-playing our sin and when we focus on our worst moments, we are letting shame own us; and worse, we are taking our eyes off Jesus so that we can stop and meditate on our regrets. It's a distraction and the enemy of our souls loves it.

You can walk in victory. You belong to Jesus Christ. He has ALREADY washed you clean and nothing can make you dirty. You are healed by His stripes. He, the Passover Lamb, has paid the price for your redemption and you are redeemed! Let that sink in. Meditate on God's love for you and thank Him for it, and you will start to feel His peace and His great love for you.
 

EliBeth

Senior Member
Dec 5, 2013
532
229
43
#19
Hey everyone. I don't know what to say other than I'm feeling a lot of shame and guilt for things that I happened a long time ago. I feel so dirty and terrible. I've repented to God and I know He has forgiven me, but I still feel so broken. So please pray for my heart because it feels like it's breaking. I know I need to trust in God and I've been trying, but I just can't seem to forgive myself for what happened in the past.
"Abba Father, please make this dear girl keenly aware of Your incredible, gracious, personal, powerful love for her. Enable her to forgive herself and lay her burden at Your feet. Thank You, Holy Father!"
Love ya, Emily.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
3,787
1,700
113
#20
Hey everyone. I don't know what to say other than I'm feeling a lot of shame and guilt for things that I happened a long time ago. I feel so dirty and terrible. I've repented to God and I know He has forgiven me, but I still feel so broken. So please pray for my heart because it feels like it's breaking. I know I need to trust in God and I've been trying, but I just can't seem to forgive myself for what happened in the past.
ALL Praise and glory be to God, we’re not alone in our pain and shame and He doesn’t want us to carry it anymore, He wants us to just simply love Him and take time to know Him, then, we will follow Him...


God forgives you and me, too....amen. Thank You, Father...thank You, Yeshua/Jesus, our Savior and Lover of our souls....