I'm sad

Sharp, I wil be praying you get your bearings again and find the answers you seek.

Sharp I was in church today and your post was heavy on my heart. The sermon spoke directly to this feeling that you have discribed here. The church at Ephesus had great perseverance, hated evil practices, they had the deeds and the faith. They even endured hardships for His name. But, there was one thing that they were lacking. Love. Our pastor went on to talk about the many people who were attending church today. Some are there for their social outlet, some even come because they know it is the right thing to do and that God wants them there. Then, there are those who come because they truly LOVE God. We can do everything that we are supposed to and get no fulfillment because our hearts aren't in the right place. Do we LOVE God and is that why we do what we do, or are we just going through the motions. I have prayed for you Sharp and I will continue to do so. Remember the hight from where you have fallen, and rekindle your first love. God Bless

Thankyou everyone. I really appreciate all your comforting words. I can't believe I'm so miserable. Thankyou all.

Read Romans 8:17 i think it may help

First and foremost I speak to you Sharp, someone who I most certainly love & appreciate on here. You are not alone in this and DO NOT question that it is in fact a spiritual attack because it absolutely is. I've been through these times too. The reason why we are still here after being saved is.... because.... its not about us. Its about ministering to the lost and living a life with the Lord absolutely right beside us and knowing a present Lord. The Lord recently placed it upon my heart that I need further study in grace. This started with shad saying he was going to send me a teaching on grace & then the next day I received a 10 hour grace conference tape from my uncle... at that time Lighthouse John mentioned that he had just done a post on grace. The Lord validates in 3's and in listening to these grace teachings its like i've felt absolutely embrased by the loving arms of the Lord. Its so amazing this grace. Maybe its time to take some time off of studying & immerse yourself in prayer, or in ministry to another. I really find that my relationship with the Lord magnifies when I am on a "devine appointment" lol... forget who called it that, someone on cc but I thought that was such a cool way to put it. As far as the wine goes... personally, I'm not a big drinker (I used to be a heavy partyer) anymore but I have a couple of wine coolers in social situations & honestly I dont think it is a problem if its not a problem. Dont condemn yourself in that, dont condemn yourself in anything and dont think that the Lord is not present because he absolutely is.

I think sometimes there are things going on where we just get overwhelmed with the burdon of life and feel that if God were really there, why would we be so burdoned? I think the "prosperity" gospel preaching has contributed to this & the "name it & claim it" healing ministry. What of those who dont get healed or dont feel relieved? are they bad Christians??? are they so filled with sin that God cant see to healing them?? I think not.

I feel God most when praying for and testifying to others. Actually the Lord is super cool in some of the situations where he's blessed me so much in being in the right place for another or phoning with the exact right words or emailing the perfect scripture or song when I know not the situation. He also will place people upon my heart in prayer & when I let them know I find out that hey... it was Gods perfect timing. And in this it testify's to the greatness & loving of our Lord to them, mostly unbelievers. I prayed for you & honestly, grace grace grace. Sometimes when we become too legalistic as I was, we need to remember who we are dealing with here is the creator of the heavens and the earth who so loved us!!! and still loves us!! I will keep you in my prayers.

Also, another thing, I've noticed a HUGE shift in the last 4 months... many believers are discouraged, many endure trials, It is a huge spiritual thing going on right now and I also think its important to do some spiritual warfare as well. Praying against these attacks getting thee behind us satan for you have no license here!!!! Many are being tempted in things that they had overcome.. I see this all around me. GREATER is He who's in me than he who's in this world seeking to devour & destroy... greater is our Lord!!! btw I say this almost every day at one point or another.

Great kraw... I see my infractions too & they make me feel bad too for what happened there was also an attack upon this great ministry & fellowship place that is cc. I happen to appreciate your humour btw, I get it & you make me laugh so I will definitely be adding you to my facebook account. I truly hope though that you do not leave cc as you will be greatly missed. Something must have happened recently that I missed. sorry bout that. My avatar is dedicated to you from the kicking thread, for sure you'd be missed by many!

I want everyone to acknowledge too that there is an attack upon this very ministry and we should also pray for the building up, not the tearing down of this place because of misunderstanding that causes infraction. We need to remember that divided this ministry would fall. Perhaps there is rash reaction to some on here and perhaps we should pray for patience when it comes to long time members such as thaddeus who I too have trouble finding fault with. Perhaps there is learning in this as well, not just for those receiving the infractions. Perhaps the mods need to review procedures in infracting.

Honestly I love this place and was devistated when I lost this place and my fellowship so I will tow the line and when in my heart I feel conviction about something I will refer it & leave it be. I've learned my lesson in this to not get upset over the deception of others on here, regardless of how agressively they may have attacked me for exposing their deception.

I'll end this by saying please stay coo caw & keep praying sharp & we will as well. Bless your heart Sharp.

hey man it happens but remeber the poem foot prints in the sand where the guy ask him about the one set of footprints during the toughest time in his life and the lord told him it was during those times i was carrying you. So just because you dont feel him there right now does not mean he has abandoned you. Maybe he just wants you to press in a lil more pray a lil harder and do the things you know to do weather you feel them or not. Keep being faithful my friend and be still and know that he is God.

Thanks imoss for your detailed response and prayers

Maybe someone could help me answer some of these questions. These sound like questions a 5 year old would ask. For the last year I've been so busy studying the bible and its origins and doctrine that I didn't even think about these things.

Why doesn't God speak to me? The bible is full of occasions where God speaks directly to people. Why is God so silent? If someone says that God spoke to them, in words, I don't believe them.

Why can't people agree on the interpretation of the bible? A book written by God should be pretty clear, shouldn't it? I don't know, should it? I think it is pretty clear, but then so does the guy who would disagree with everything I think the bible says. Why are there so many different interpretations?

Faith - why does it seem like the more you put in, the more you get. Yes I know this is not the point of being saved. The thing is, the more you believe in Santa Klaus, the more real he becomes. Why is it that my life gets so much better when I ignore ration and reason and the realities of this world and just have faith? To the agnostic I would appear ridiculous. Surely I have to step back and ask myself whether I'm psychologically doing this to myself. The mind is so powerful it can heal itself from diseases sometimes. Maybe I'm doing the same thing. Is this all my imagination.

Thanks Grizzly. The footprints painting always used to give me comfort. But if I'm being carried now it certainly doesn't feel like it. Parts of my mind which I'm trying to ignore are telling me God doesn't exist. That certainly doesn't make me feel like I'm being carried.

Oh and on Thaddaeus...I think, but I'm not certain, that he was busted for lashing out at me in a thread, saying a question I asked was stupid. I didn't complain about it - I mean everyone's entitled to their opinion I suppose. Then I think he fired up at one of the moderators and they sent him packing. Sure was a fiesty fella though...

Sharp, I have had these same questions, was just as set down by it all as well.
Im sure you already know this, but what you are failing to do, or better said ,is to faith this. Way to much thinking here, yes, your right ,all could be just the mind, and yes, the mind is powerful. Thats why its time to stop thinking it all, and just have faith.
I could disscuss each thing here with you. But the answer is the same, faith.
I can do one thing, it is to witness to you that it is so much more than the mind, so much more than you can think. I promise you , in Jesus Christ is Lord! Faith, a simple mustard seed of faith, begins to grow. When I could not get past the questions, the mind, the thinking it all, I saw that it was faith.
It is in this that you will be in Jesus, His love, and all in an understanding that is not of the world, but of Jesus. Remember the scripture, the imperfect passes,knowladge will cease, tounges will cease, three things that last, faith, hope Love. The perfect comes. It applies in so many ways, this is that word applied here.
I know the mind fights you on this, how it is to get that brief sight as well, then saying again was it? Or was it a trick of the mind. Jesus is calling you to be, in faith,in Him, perfectly.
Jesus is already with you, His sacrifice, His grace, His Love.
He is simply asking you to see Him in Faith.
Im still praying for you.
In Jesus, God bless. pickles

Sharp, you´re still here on earth, because God needs you here. Sharing our faith, the works of Christ for every single soul on earth, brings joy/happiness in our lives When have you last witnessed to someone what Christ has done for you? The wine you can better leave, and no, we can´t know everything, not even you. Don´t stop praying, keep reading the Bible, keep fellowshiping with other Christians - do you have a brother in Christ to share accountablity with? Someone to encourage you? By your number of posts, I am guessing you´re pouring out of your wisdom from God, but could you perhaps be spending too much energy on it? Putting too much on your shoulders? In any case, this is most likely just a season, stay close to Christ (no matter what the feelings say), ...yes, trust God, He will bring you to a better place than you are in right now. Whatever it is, He allows it to help you grow spiritually. I´ll pray that God will bring you exactly where He wants you to be God bless you. His light shines over you and protects you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are very precious to Him, you are beloved.

I think God speaking with words out loud was more an OT thing, now we have the Holy Spirit in us to guide us. I´m careful too, to believe ppl if they tell that God spoke out loud, and it´s good to be careful, be open, but test everything according to the Bible. The Holy Spirit gives you thoughts, encouragement, direction, very gently, and you will know by your good fruit that God leads you.
People disagree on the interpretation of the Bible because scripture is often taken out of context, and we like to read things that confirm our own opinion. Sometimes, we´re misinformed, we were taught something that is really not in the Bible. But I agree with you, it would be easier if we´d all just read the Bible just the way God wrote it, without personal opinions or cultural backgrounds.
Christ is not a product of your imagination, you have the Bible, Gods written word, it´s an awesome act of love from God´s part to give us such a wonderful source of wisdom and a life manual
I know, I don´t know much but hopefully, you find a litte encouragement in it.

This is where the real issue lies. Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning and hit the reset button. Truth: God loved you enough to send His Only Son to die for you. Truth: God wants a special relationship with you. Truth: God loves you as much now that you are His child as He did when He sent Jesus to die. I could read your profile. I could go back through and read all your posts. I could then say that I know you. But in reality, I would not know you until I spent time with you, talked with you, fellowshipped with you. I can intellectually know about God. I can study the Bible and study doctrine. I then can say I know God. But in reality, I would not know God unless I spent time with Him, communing with Him.

I was once told by a very wise person that God is closer than I think and to start looking around for God will reveal Himself to me again and it will be more obvious than ever. Quite honestly, at the time I felt much like you and thought that person was crazy. It turns out he was right. So, now I pass that on to you. Sharp, God is very real and very active in your life. Watch/wait for Him to again reveal Himself to you. He will! And when He does, you will once again be so overhwelmed by His presence that these doubts that now plague you will be gone. You will again bask in His love and yearn to love Him more and have an intimate relationship with Him. I know you don't feel it right now, so this is the time when you must trust anyway. God won't let you down. God won't disappoint you.

i will try keep it as short as possible...

- hold on to the faith you have in the savior of this world, the light bearer of truth our Lord...Jesus Christ

-you need him when your weak you need him when your strong.

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend[a] it.

Click to expand...

John 1:1-5


-all things that were made, are through him and he is the light..

-Take root and faith in the Lord. seek God and pray to him for help have faith, trust in him; he will take care of you.

-Grow in the Lord, temptations and storms will comebut take the gospel and recieve it with a good and noble heart growing. Laboring fruit with patience.

- Praise and worship God let him be your refuge in the hard places and let him calm you when your scared.


I hope these things helped ^_^ God bless you

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You know what, you’ve been putting all these load in you where you didn’t really have to…relax…!
You’re not the only person who has a lot of unanswered questions, do you want me to add also questions to your list?
I will never question God or even doubt His existence , if it’s not true I don’t care as long as I have this faith in me that gives me this great feeling for Him.
As Mulehide says, we might forget to just sit at God’s feet, we should be someone who is always hungry and thirsty for Him not just someone who desires to get knowledge but someone who wanted to have life.

Sharp God does speak to you. Its a case of tuning yourself in to listen. For me God first spoke to me when I was 9 and within my spirit I heard like a yell RUN RUN RUN... I didnt run. I should have ran.

Another time after I'd received the Lord maybe 8 years I was in prayer... it was my own voice but scripture Job 4-11 came to my mind when praying about what I saw the night my mom died. (i'd never read job) the scripture described my exact experience and I learned it wasnt an angel but a spirit. I dont know what kind of spirit, I dont care anymore cause so amazing was it that God answered this prayer in this way.

The next time I was praying about all sorts of random things including having enough money to pay our business bills. Into my mind popped "you need to give $1000 to the little pentecostal church"... this definitely was NOT from me. We didnt have 1000 but I gave $400 (exactly what they needed to pay for their sign) Before the end of the year I remembered that the Lord had instructed me... at first i would joke & say the lord said 1000 cause he know i'd give 400... in prayer a conviction came upon me and 6 months later I gave the final $600. Worked out perfect cause it was dec in the north and they needed to fix their furnace & the bill was... $600. This small church, the pastor has to work just to live.

Other times its a reaction in service to others... a scripture pops to my head & its so perfect. Thank God for google as I'd never be able to find the scripture!

Once I was in my kitchen and the words Gary needs the fear of the Lord came to my mind. I didnt share this with my uncle for a couple of days because I didnt agree & thought it was a weird deceptive thought. My uncle is one who knows the Lord so very well, I thought i had to be wrong... It couldnt have come from the Lord for he knows Gary & his faithfulness.

When I told my uncle of this he Laughed & laughed. I actually emailed it cause i was chicken to speak of such an inaccurate thing in person. he phoned me and said that in his mission statement he had a bible verse that he was quoting (for his ministry) He had decided to leave out the end of the verse that included the "fear of the Lord" as he was worried this would scare those who dont know the Lord. Isnt that amazing testimony? When those words came to my mind they were in my voice... not the big booming GOD voice. I guess the finding out & knowing is in speaking of these things to those who it concerns & finding out.

Mostly I do that when random things come to my mind in prayer... for this situation, with my uncle, i wasnt praying, I was scrubbing my kitchen floor.

I know this will come to you Sharp & I reflect on what an amazing man of God you are & how much more you will be when you acknowledge the Lord right beside you... he is, even as you read my long sometimes irritating posts lol!!

For we are made up different you and I, you have such knowledge, it amazes me & i truly look up to that, for me I have the blind faith of one who had every single bad thing she'd ever done disappear instantly with receiving Christ... I felt my spiritual rebirth in a way that is indescribable.

My husband, has grown in his faith through the years & like you he has trouble with hearing Gods voice. Doesnt make him any less an amazing Christian man. Sometimes I wonder if it was him growing up in the church where he did, that would have another man be mediator between him and God, so its hard for him to receive the Lord right beside him... its getting easier though. Its just seeing and acknowledging Gods miracles in our daily life as being truly from God and truly miraculous.

Look at my rainbows in my album. begin & end on our property lines. this the day my sons bus was rear ended by a semi. I saw it as Gods covenant , my husband at the time saw it as just a rainbow for everyone. I couldnt believe he didnt see the miracle that the beginning & END were BOTH on our property pegs.

Soo... the Lord did this... that summer, we were headed to saskatchewan to see a family member who is in a coma. on the way I was chasing a rainbow and mentioned it lots. finally we came around the corner & there it was so brilliant & perfect in the middle of this beautiful lake. It then moved... onto the hood of our car, where it remained for about 10-15 minutes. we all saw it, but most importantly we all FELT it, it was like our car was the arc of the covenant and it was overflowing with the GLORY of GOD... ABSOLUTELY overflowing with the LOVE OF GOD!! thats pretty much the only way I can explain it.

Then a year and a bit later, my husband was upset about my son & praying when we discovered the lump on his leg and we needed bone scans & ultrasound & ct scans very overwhelming. He was driving home from work & looked up the road to the left and saw a school bus with a rainbow on it. a block later another school bus... again the rainbow upon this bus as well. He received that rainbow as Gods covenant & I was so pleased.

So these are some of the incidences where I heard the Lord. I'm sure you've had them too, you just thought it was you. ie: someone needed scripture and you thought of the perfect scripture... see you are smart so you may not hear that that was God given... One such as me, who didnt have the scripture recall like that, well I have to acknowledge God in that, cause there's no way it could have come from me. Especially the scripture that comes to mind that is not well known scripture. Again I thank God for google in this!

In my opinion, God does speak to you because I have heard God speak through you. The fact that you don't always notice has more to do with God's closeness to you. When He is close, He only has to whisper.
Regarding the interpretation of the Bible, I have a three part answer: first because the truths are often multi-faceted. What we often see as disagreements are instead that one has a revelation of one facet and one of another. The second part is that we all have blind spots and God is trying to work those out. Finally, there are wolves among the sheep and some interpretations are the deceit of the enemy.
Regarding how you appear when you walk in faith, faith brings fruit. People can ridicule our theology and our way of worship, but they cannot ridicule the fruit of the Spirit.

Remarkably I feel alot better. Thankyou all so much for your support and prayers. I didn't know what I wanted you to pray for and I'm not sure what you did pray for, but I feel at ease and I'm thinking rationally.

I love the prayer request forum - there is truly some supernatural action going on here. Every request I post here is answered. Thankyou all for being so reliable and faithful.

I think I need to take a break from church for one week. I think I've been very "religious" lately, in the bad sense of the word, focusing too much on routine and learning. I feel like one of the Jews that Jesus used to yell at all the time.

The beauty of prayer is that even when we don't know what specifically to pray for, we can just lift a brother up in prayer and the Father knows what is needed. Sharp, I'm so so so glad you're doing better again! Praise God!