ok thx. Thats alot to take in, and I'll do my best, but I'm not real smart so I probably won't get it quite right. Some of the things you have me saying in quotes were not really my words, but I think I know what you mean. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be obedient to now, the time for that was Sunday. I have no desire to drink, now so less than ever...I'm just feeling pretty empty now, pretty weak. There's also been something not 'right' for a few weeks now since I came out of dental anesthesia, tho Dr. found nothing wrong...l'm thinking it's spiritual, but I certainly didn't help my own health Sun. Nite. They say hindsight is 20/20, but it's the foresight I seem to lack, and I'm sorry again this turned into a help syd case here. I appreciate you trying to help, but I know this is my fault and now I've got to take my lumps. All I had to do was just say no, and none of this would have happened. I'm sorry, Jesus, and I'm sorry, friends.