This is the end. Can't take it no more.

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peeday

Junior Member
Sep 5, 2017
3
0
0
#1
Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,366
1,321
113
#2
First of all, people who are intent on killing themselves, do NOT come online and announce it, unless they are looking for attention. :/ Secondly, I challenge you to read ANY testimony in the Testimonies forum. Those people have been through hell and back, and many more here are currently going through tough battles. Read my suicide and depression testimonies, you might learn something about persevering through all the crap life throws at us. Follow the directions in my signature below, to get to the blog tab in my profile.

God hasn't deceived you at all. YOU have deceived yourself, into thinking that you're meant to have an easy life while you're on this earth, well, that just isn't true. We have to take it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's how we deal with it, that determines how easy or rough our life will be. Now stop pithing and moaning, and start thanking God for letting you hit rock bottom. Now you have nowhere to go but UP. :) OR you can stay stuck in your self-pity pit and wallow in your feelings forever..
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
12,205
336
83
#3
Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..

Can you tell us what has brought you to this point? Do you have anyone at all that can be with you right now? I dont know a hotline in your area for help. Perhaps if you talk it out it may help.
 

Blain

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
14,546
394
83
#4
Exactly time heals and so you too will be healed. Believe me I have been there life can be completely unfair and utterly just exhausting, and even i have suicidal thoughts sometimes just last night I wondered if I would be doing my family a favor if I was just gone but depression is annoying and I guess some people are prone to such thoughts than others. But killing ourselves solves nothing and in all honesty we are hurting the people we love and who love us and are being extremely selfish in doing so.

Trust me life is hard pain runs deep and that feeling of being utterly broken and having no hope inside is horrible I myself only just came out of a long storm of that I honestly envisioned myself as nothing but ash because that is how I felt for over a month now because how bad things have been at home lately I mean it was absolute hell and I felt completely uncared about and unloved and by my family plus the insane stress and anger that was in the air constantly at the house and also how the police and the ambulance had to come and also how I only barely was able to save my brothers wife from slitting her throat before it was to late.


Believe me life can deal harshly tin many many ways not just through life being hard or us feeling broken inside, I don't know your circumstance but believe me when I say that many others can relate that I am sure of I would suggest communing with others here and put killing yourself on hold because you might find life and joy you never knew in doing so :)
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
3,610
87
48
#5
No, it is not (the end). For He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, remember? Be blessed by sharing ur blessings, struggles too and how the Lord delivers you, with others=).
 

Enow

Banned
Dec 21, 2012
2,901
39
0
#7
Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..
I'm there, but yet I still believe in Him. I do not want to live any more and I do hate my life, but I give it to Him and let Him deal with my life as He sees fit.

At least my life is not as bad as Job was, but still this life is not something to love anyway, but the life above.

I am not sure how you can feel abandoned and alone when you know that your family loves you. So stop listening to all the negative thoughts and ask Jesus for help to set your mind on the things above and call your family to talk to someone.

Give thanks for what you do have; and stop obsessing on things outside of your control. Take one day at a time.

I do not see how any one can take the dream of the world to live on your own when the Bible says about marriage that it is when offsprings separate from their parents to join with someone else to start their own family somewhere else from home is when they Biblically leave home. They can leave home to seek their own fortune, but there is no shame seeking it from home.

If you cannot make it on your own, go home. There is no Biblical shame in it. The world makes it a shame, but who cares what the world says? They never take care of their own anyway. Only family does. Well, they are supposed to anyway.

Praying for you to give thanks for what you do have; one mainly.. eternal life.

Now ask Him to help you believe He will take care of you because you are being honest in declaring your doubts & fears.

Mark 9:[SUP]23 [/SUP]Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.[SUP]24 [/SUP]And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Just surrender and ask Jesus for help to wait on Him in dealing with the mess that is your life as I do with mine.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
403
0
#8
Actually, people seriously considering suicide do often tell strangers about it. They are already convinced they don't matter too much to the people who know them, so it is often a half way hopeful attempt at see if someone who does NOT know them realizes they honestly DO matter.

Sometimes they give us the chance to let them know we truly DO see them.... sometimes they don't.
 

preacher4truth

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2016
5,976
218
63
#9
Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..
Stick around for awhile. I'd like to talk to you, and so would others. We can help bear one another's burdens, and we all have them. :)
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#10
Hi peeday when you First posted how you were feeling many of up us made the effort to support you in your time of distress (I even shared my own testimony of what happened to me as a young christian which many others on this forum have never heard before...yet it all seems to have made no difference?

i am concerned about your mental health at this time as there is one thing to be stressed,depressed ect due to the harrowing traumas that life can bring..and another to be contemplating suicide and feeling bitter towards God.I sense that you see God as a failure which I can also relate too.

yet I need to tell you something..there are two elements to human exsistance...the spiritual and the physical..if you kill yourself..how would you feel is once you had died you encountered the devil who made you realise that it was he who tricked you into killing yourself..it was he who used your suffering to fill your heart with bitterness ,spiritual blindness,dispair,fear..amongst other things with the aim to make God look bad and to used the pain within you to convince you that God doesn't care and that he isn't worth following ect ect..
Imagine the horror of being told that by him just after you took your own life??...and there was no second chance to come back to this world.
all your family and friends would be sad with many weeping her on earth..yet you would be confronting the truth..but not on planet earth..how would you be feeling then?..it is easy to entertain the thought of suicide when you're alive ..but what happens to you after you have actually killed yourself as a christian is often debated...hell or heaven?
believe me..do you REALLy wanna find out????
You take your own life then you're beginning to play wid your eternity..your future eternal destiny

whilst I do understand you..at the same time I must say to you that none of us actually know you..by this I mean none of us know what kind of a person your like (your temperament.).so we can only go by what you've told us.
yet regardless of those factors if you think this life has been terrible for you..if you go ahead and kill yourself....you may encounter an experience that is far worse than you could ever imagine and there won't be anyone to call..and your prayers wouldn't be answered..and the horrible truth could that the enemie deceived you ect....
..it ain't worth taking that chance...

.
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#11
Actually, people seriously considering suicide do often tell strangers about it. They are already convinced they don't matter too much to the people who know them, so it is often a half way hopeful attempt at see if someone who does NOT know them realizes they honestly DO matter.

Sometimes they give us the chance to let them know we truly DO see them.... sometimes they don't.

yes I agree
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,449
349
83
25
#12
Actually, people seriously considering suicide do often tell strangers about it. They are already convinced they don't matter too much to the people who know them, so it is often a half way hopeful attempt at see if someone who does NOT know them realizes they honestly DO matter.

Sometimes they give us the chance to let them know we truly DO see them.... sometimes they don't.
Yeah my cousin did this before committing suicide.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,449
349
83
25
#13
Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..
Everyone goes through tough times,we get weary,we get stressed,we get sad,we get confused,I have been through many a hurtful time but it has made me stronger especially now in spirit,family don't always show some clear signs of caring for you but they do care to some extent for you,and even when people don't care so much for you,God always cares for you so try to focus on him as someone that cares for you,no matter how broken you feel God is always there to see you through any ordeal when others aren't.
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
141
13
18
#14
Brother Peeday, Our fine brother Paul went through many hardships,please look at 2 Cor 11:23-28!! Many here know of painful experiences in there life,for many here have sure had there share of hardships!! I also know how tough it can be upon us when loved ones suffer as great as we do!

Prayer seems to bounce off walls,and our feeling and emotions which we have trusted low so many years looks to deceive us once again! WE never think about our emotions or feeling doing this,because for so many years, many have become use to being lied to by them.Which usually leads to being able to lie to others as well!

We need God's full attention,but will not wait upon him long enough to get it! SEEK and you will find!( matt 7:7) I remember myself needing a job real bad,I was grumbling and complaining to the Lord about him meeting my needs!! I even reminded him of his Word in Phil 4:19!! I told the Lord that I would die here in my prayer closet, or you will answer me!!

1 day passed,2 days passed,on the 3rd day around 1am Holy Spirit sounded within me to ask me a question,how many hours do you work in a day? I answered 8 hours,and Holy Spirit said how many hours have you gone to actually look for work each day?? And why, oh why do you not remember my Word to you even before you look!!( Rom 8:14-15!!)

For all who are what?? allowing!!!!! Are you doing this??? I said I have spent perhaps a couple of hours each day looking.Holy Spirit then said,if one works 8 hours a day at a job,how many hours should one spend looking for work then?? SEEK and ye shall find,but how long you really seek,depends greatly on how soon you will find!

I came out of my prayer closet and told the Lord I would try this!! No he said, there is no try,Try is Rev 3:16!!) DO as my Word tells you to do!!!( James 1:22!!) Long story short brother within 2 weeks I had a real good job! I was able to help my family out as well!

At some time during our life my brother we will face a Goliath,we do not take our lives because of it,nor do we look to hide from the truth! What we DO is remember what the Lord has done before Goliath came to us!!( 1 Sam 17:32-37!!!!) A man acts like one!( 1 Cor 16:13-14!!)You are to old to baby( 1 Cor 2:5 and 1 Cor 4:20!)Do not be children in your thinking!!( 1 Cor 13:11 and 1 Cor 14:20!!) I love you brother,I am looking to preform what Jesus did to me at my young age in the Lord!

If you take your life the devil wins! Because our life is not our own to take!!( 1 Cor 6:19-20!!) There will be people who also will lose out because you were not there to tell them the truth I am telling you now!! One can repent of any sin save one!! Taking ones own life is not only the most selfish thing one can do,but also is the pinnacle of unbelief! ask Judas!! Judas believed at one time( Acts 1:17 says so!)

His place now that he made for himself is a place I sure would not wish to go to be with him!!( Acts 1:25!!) And there is no repentance from one who does this action! I am sorry, is to late,your gone already! So in love brother I encourage you and warn you.

I am so very thankful for how Jesus delivered me brother!! And being thankful and staying thankful is a proven fact that we will always be in HIS will!!( 1 Thess 5:18!!) For brother had I done what your thinking of doing,I would not be able to speak the truth in love to you now!! BE STRONG!!! Not just for you,but for those you love! My prayers and love dwell with you bro!
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
5,961
198
63
#15
Lord please bless peeday, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 

MrsMinx

Junior Member
Feb 8, 2017
7
0
0
#16
In life we all would prefer the "mountain top" experience, but the truth is we WILL have valleys. And Yes, Jesus told us so! So regrettably it's not optional. You don't plan your valleys, but be encouraged that they are temporary, there IS an end to them.

These valleys have a purpose though (Ugh) and God NEVER allows us to go through them alone. He assures us that " I WILL personally go with you, Moses and I WILL give you rest-everything will be fine for you."

You are here by God's appointment, in His keeping, under his training, for His time.

God Bless
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#17
First of all, people who are intent on killing themselves, do NOT come online and announce it, unless they are looking for attention. :/ Secondly, I challenge you to read ANY testimony in the Testimonies forum. Those people have been through hell and back, and many more here are currently going through tough battles. Read my suicide and depression testimonies, you might learn something about persevering through all the crap life throws at us. Follow the directions in my signature below, to get to the blog tab in my profile.

God hasn't deceived you at all. YOU have deceived yourself, into thinking that you're meant to have an easy life while you're on this earth, well, that just isn't true. We have to take it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's how we deal with it, that determines how easy or rough our life will be. Now stop pithing and moaning, and start thanking God for letting you hit rock bottom. Now you have nowhere to go but UP. :) OR you can stay stuck in your self-pity pit and wallow in your feelings forever..
I disagree with first part. I did go online for help when I was ready to end it. I wanted a reason not to.

However, the first post was clearly a mock, not a plea. By the time a person becomes serious, Mock has left the building.
 

KBond

Senior Member
Jun 5, 2013
659
13
18
#18
I care about you, peeday. I do not want you to commit suicide. God has not failed you. He is working a victory for you right now. Please talk to a professional about your feelings.
 
Sep 9, 2017
48
0
0
#19
Peeday, are you ok? I thought about killing myself too, but it's not a way to solve problems. Please don't do it!
 

happyface

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2009
1,494
31
48
#20
Peeday it's so easy to become withdrawn and afraid. I understand. We wait for abit of normality in life. But the truth is that we are capable of doing our best, We forget the sincere things about ourselves, and we beat us up. Your life matters, especially to people on here with very real issues. Anyone talking about suicide really affects my mental health, because it's so important to me that a person is happy. I ask God to stay with you, and for once in your life you feel loved. God bless you