tired of living

life sucks. its horrible. i hate my life from start to finish. at this point the best thing god could do is kill me. theres nothing here for me except more misery and suffering. he's already doing it slowly, pray that he just gets it over with. i'm tired of screwing around with it. i didn't ask to be born.




surrender to the impulse.. red... fluid... warm
feel the waves of ecstasy wash over you like a scarlet flood
going deeper into the pain... deeper into the vein
feel the cut of a 1000 old wounds resurrecting their deadly hold again

within inches of the grasp of reality
fingers reach... arm outstretched... slipping on dreams unreachable
slipping from a mind unteachable

the war rages on inside... the whore rages on the path of time
her vomit spews a biological waking nightmare... & slumber slams itself into me
the darkness of my eyelids... the darkness of my torment, encroaches upon me
hunting me... stalking me... mocking me...

violence sustained in the chambers of remorse
brutality portrayed by the light of candles flame
the inner circle a mounting storm of vehemence
bring the ferocity closer to me... to me... me...

challenging shout
resented love
fallen angels
let the dead bury their own dead

I know no words help when one feels like this, I pray the Lord will do what He knows is best for you to help you.

pmd you hang in there buddy, you can get through this, i told you youd have me to deal with if you dont.. Praying Gods presence with you, that he will suround you, strengthen you, uphold you, even though you feel hes far from you right now, Theres times when ive felt exactly as your feeling but you know what lifes worth living and God loves you more than you could ever imagine ... Life doesnt always give us the hand we want but i do know theres nothiing god cannott get you through,

tell God whatever u think.pour out your heart to him but also get to the bible an see what he says. i know that will make alot of sense to you..it has worked for me. tell him whatever you feel but also pay attention to what his answers are. if there are no answers, demand for them and he will let you see them. he definately has a reason why he is still keeping you. its probably because he loves you and has a great purpose for you. there is always light at the end of the tunnel. hang on, the best yet to come.

u know that bible story of the vine and branches. it goes on to add that the lord does the prunning so that we bear much fruit. it might be his way of getting you ready for the big things ahead. bear in mind that when you get thru this u will be the perfect person to help sme one who might be going thru what u are going thru.
i really feel there is sth good at the end of all that. just hang on. i pray God helps you get thru this without doing alot of harm to yoself.

Dont you know god has plans for you,dont give up.You are in your prime of life.Father I thank you for touching my brother and sending
angels to minister to him.Show him your glory Lord and we bind every negative spirit that would come against him and pray for love joy
and peace for him .Turn it around Lord, in Jesus name amen.

ull have my prayers man, Gods with u, believe and He'll be, always... He wants u alive to talk about His love to everybody!!! but u must want to be used by HIm!!! ull be in my prayers!!!

I am here, brother, to tell you that you are wrong. I'm disgusted that these other people who responded didn't even mention that it's wrong to have these thoughts and attitudes! Don't be absurd! If it were good for God to have killed you, He would have already done it. While the Scripture does tell us the end of something is better than its beginning, this was seen as a positive statement of reinsurance that all the purposes of God are good. Scripture tells us that All things work together for good to those that love God, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). It's time for you to believe that.

Your first two words are “life sucks.” You sound like a spoiled teenager! This is an immature thing to say. Pray along with me that you develop spiritual maturity. Do you want to be great or do you want to wallow in pity for yourself? GET UP MY BROTHER!
As we live every event of our lives are recorded in books in heaven that will be opened on Judgment Day (Revelation 20:12). Everyone will know what you go through. All the evil that happens to you will be known by all. That’s what you want isn’t it? SO DON'T MAKE LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES AN EXCUSE FOR GIVING UP! Everyone is dealt a share of hardship. Rise above that to conquer the parts of your life that you DO have control over! Jesus didn't die so that we give up the fight whenever we want! This life ISN'T FOR US, it's for Him. And if you really acted that way than you wouldn't have a second thought about weather you should continue with your life. Think about that.

I find that a lot of Christians don't believe that living what the Bible says works to change their life for the better, well I'm here to tell you that it does. My question is are you living by this verse? Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." It can give the soul peace, comfort and joy. The poem you gave is one of filth to your mind and will seep into your spirit with corruption. I'm not being over dramatic. Living by this one will also increase your joy; that's a guarantee! 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

You are simply wrong on this one. This man posted this thread to have a response made of words. We need to lift a brother up with the support of our words, for the Scripture says: Hebrews 3:13 but exhort one another day by day, so long as it is called "today;" lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. And this man is most definitely hardened by the deceitfulness of sin, so he is in need of exhortation from brothers and sisters in Christ. Saying something like that, gives him an excuse to think this way and wallow in his self-absorbed misery. We live for Christ, not ourselves! That literally means that the driving force for our life is Christ, not being happy like the secular world of American culture might have you think. Secular society says life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. God says life FOR the pursuit of GOD!

While you may be able to help someone in a similar situation in life later on, remember that this isn't the only good that comes from obedience to God. And her feeling is baked by the power of the Holy Scriptures! If you want to get well, read Revelation chapter 21 and 22. I won't settle for a brother saying he's tired of living. I pray for you to be well in Jesus name.

Lifes hard. Stop listening to crap music that only helps you pity yourself. I've been handicap my whole life , I didn't ask for it either, but my own weakness has been a strength to others. I can see that through helping others not wallowing in the mire of self.

You like lyrics? Here is one. "I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the in between is mine."

You got something thats going to kill you? Fine seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. Don't go out defeated.

Been there so glad to know i went through it for a reason to help others there is a reason a good one just know that its not for nothing you will see

Child,

God doesn't do these things. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy...nothing more, nothing less. It's hard to change that mindset. The world teaches God is in control...but we still have to meet Him halfway and accept the hand He has offered. There is so very much to learn and so much exciting news...where? Believe it..IN THE BIBLE...once you start esxploring the truths of God...you will be amazed over and over and over how beautiful HIs dream is for you. I was once in your shoes...with your thoughts...i acted on them...God saved my life. Be wise and don't try...give your heart a chance...give it to God. My guess is "...if {people} saw your heart, they'd see too much" for it would hurt how they would handle it. You are so Loved for who you are!!! And who you will become. Shine sweetie. You have the FAITH of one who knows God. Take time to get to know Him better, please. Love you!

-student

Yes, that music is straight from the pit of hell bro. Satan wants to destroy you with all he can, and guess what, he starts in your mind and slowly controls you to the point that you are either you are thinking about killing yourself, you are killing your self slowly through drugs or other behavior, or you decide to take your own life. He just wants to destroy humanity and drag them to hell, but guess what? Jesus died for you, and not only that He ROSE FROM THE DEAD! He was tempted and tried in every single way and understands,sees, and knows how you feel, you can't fool Him. But the most important thing you should know is this... This life is short compared to the eternity we have together with Christ if we have truly believed in Him and are truly following Him. We are not exempt from suffering in this life, we are promised persecution. But the promises of God are way bigger than all the suffering the world could go through. Hang on to them because He is faithful to do what He says He'll do.

God Bless you!

If you still have any desire of living maybe my advice will help you. Just clear your mind of anything your worried about.When I'm stressed (I don't know if you are but) I like to think that nothing really matters so it's not a big deal. I also like to take a long warm bath where I spend alot of time thinking about life in general sometimes. After the bath I feel my mind is clearer and my body is refreshed. If you can get into that state then you might have a better perspective. I have no idea what your situation is but I hope this might help a little.

Also listening to any negative posts is not gonna help if you want to live. So ignore them.

Life is very big gift given by GOD to us. So just start enjoying it and live it as you want.Because if ti goes then it will never comes.Just ignore everything which you feel it negative or think about that thing in a positive way. May GOD bless you!!!

I feel your pain, and I understand it perfectly.
You see, I too have experienced surmountable pain, and still experiencing it.

A year ago, while watching the evening news, my father suddenly collapsed and was rushed to the ER. He was gone. Leaving us, my mom and three daughters (me being the middle child).
Seven months before his death, my older sister, had a ruptured aneurysm while at work (A vein in her brain ruptured, and bled, we later learned that it was congenital, meaning she had it since birth, and would have ruptured anytime) She was only 31 when it happened. So, believe me when I say, I know PAIN, and I understand how you feel.

I had moments when I asked God, WHY. I was even mad at Him at one point for letting this happen in our life. I could have broken away from God, I could have taken my life and ended my misery. But I didnt.

Why?
Because, in those times when I was feeling pain, when I was at my lowest point, I found Jesus. He held my hand and never let me go. The answer has and always been infront of me, Jesus. I remember, when I was a child, my Dad used to sing to me, footprints in the sand. And now, as I listen to those very words my father used to sing, these words ring ever so true...



Live my friend, use the precious gift of life God has bestowed upon you to share to those who are more despondent than you. Open your eyes and you will see, there is more to life than what you may be experiencing now.

god knows what he should do, we can't tell him to what we want. i can understand what kind of pain you are having i will pray for at this point my god give happy life.

Ugly,we are none worhty of his love,we are all flithy sinners,ungodly yet he laid down his life for us.Jesus blood can make the vilest sinner whole
and that is all of us.He even says we are fearfully and wonderfull made, why call yourself ugly, he bore our griefs, speak to these negative
thoughts and tell them that jesus already defeated you.Be blessed I pray you walk in the peace of god completely.

hey
i'm still alive, of course. 1st thanks to all who responded, except one of you, which did more to offend and depress me than help. but the rest of you i appreciate your taking the time to say something.
my initial post was after receiving some bad news. i had spent the past few weeks anticipating that i might receive this news, and not only did i get it, i got more than i expected. while i have recovered a bit from the shock, thanks to some CC friends who have been helping me, and even a few new people who read this post. While i'm not feeling such a desire to die, i still have had my faith pushed to the edge... and still not happy with my life or what i see my future as.
i just wanted to give this little response so you would know i am alive, and appreciate you guy for trying to help. i know many or all of you are praying. i appreciate the sentiment, though i'm no longer convinced it helps.

ugly

Hi Handsome

I was suicidal, got sexually abused and thought there was no hope for me. I was wrong of course. This isn't about me, this is about Love- the love of God- His pure, unconditional love. A love that is accepting, a love that is nurturing and a love that forgives. It heals the past, releases the present and re-writes the future. I struggled and still do sometimes- self-imagine, self-love, etc. Sit down and cry out to God- we all need a good cry every now and then. Ask Him to reveal His love for you.

I was angry with God and for a split second, believed that He didn't exist. Boy was I wrong.. How could I be angry with something that doesn't exist? The anger we have in God is the anger we have in ourselves. I'm praying for you handsome.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
I want to see You.
To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy.

Mwah Handsome. Love ya'!

Hugs,
Maya

The one guy your talking about is me, I have no doubt. Depressing you as you say are the bad feelings that come with showing reality the way it is. And believe me, once your out of the funk your in, if you ever get out by the Word of God and prayer, then it will be a freeing experience indeed. Jesus said the truth shall set you free. Don't forget I gave you Scripture. And I wanted to say that due to a mental illness (bipolar disorder) I've had to deal with suicidal thoughts popping into my head for the last 6 years. And I've had to learn to shut them out. I know a lot of other people with my disorder don't live to tell about it. So I know how evil those thoughts are. And getting bad news is no excuse for them, neither is anything an excuse for letting them take control. Suicide is selfish. Don't be a punk, be a Christian, standing under the shadow of the almighty in humility and child-like faith. That is the only way for me to live day by day. God told us we would have a rough life. 1 Thessalonians 3:4 For most certainly, when we were with you, we told you beforehand that we are to suffer affliction, even as it happened, and you know. Hebrews 12:6 Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Then why do we crumble when something doesn't go just how we want it? This is GOD'S universe not ours. Why be offended at terrible things as if God had something to do with it being terrible? He DIDN'T. Creation did this to itself. God stands as true and noble through it all. There's nothing mystical about that. God is good. Either we believe it or not. Please read all of Hebrews chapter 12 to get a clearer view of that Scripture.

I hear someone say something terrible happened suddenly and without warning and say proudly "I could have turned from God, but I didn't. I could have killed myself, but I didn't." What a terrible attitude that is, to even consider that it would have been somehow just to turn from God, or kill yourself. But NO! She pulled through. It's not about us, it's about God.

Usugimibilly says "I like to think nothing really matters" and that's what helps me keep calm and stress free. Well what does the Bible say good Christian? Proverbs 16:4 Yahweh has made all things for Himself, Yes even the wicked for the day of doom. So what is the purpose of everything? It's for God. Period, that's it. Look no further. Makes sense to me...

I pray for you dearly gentle brother, that you come draw near to God along side these brothers and sisters coming together for you to know true joy and peace, not merely circumstantial satisfaction. For all the angels know that the truest gift is not blessings from the Most High, but rather the Almighty Himself.