The mega aspect sounds like pressure like a corporate ceo. Families need time, care and relaxation to flourish. The worship of money and size sounds very like a business vibe not an organic community in guidance.
I hope you find strength within in so that all the the negativity that hard relationships bring is not able to hurt you. I lost the hope of a loving relationship but i still hope that others get a chance
Recently due to his concerns about my relationship with his son's family. I found it difficult to gauge his tone. But maybe it's easier than face to face. I didn't think that emails were used by many churches.