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  1. ChandlerFan

    Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

    So about four years ago I got into a relationship that ended up being super unhealthy, and a large part of the damage that was done was due to my unwillingness to get out. I went into it thinking I was a mature Christian, but through that experienced realized just how immature I was. In my anger...
  2. ChandlerFan

    Why won't guys make a move?

    I agree with you 100%. Just had to point out that the statistic that 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce is popular, but the number is actually more like 35%
  3. ChandlerFan

    Who wants to get married????

    This. 100% this. It does seem to be a big thing in the church for sure. Marriage is viewed as THE destination. I see so many single people view it that way too as if life doesn't begin until they find a spouse. And that really ties into my answer. This past year has been funny for me because...
  4. ChandlerFan

    Knowing Who's The One

    The short answer to your question is that "the one" is the woman who you say, "I do" to. In that sense, "the one" is the person you choose to be the one. But the longer answer would be that it is really a process. Trusting in the Lord, rooting your identity in Him, and seeking wisdom from Him...
  5. ChandlerFan

    Letting Go

    This is something I have had to exercise over and over again as I have worked through the aftermath of an unhealthy relationship a few years ago where I had to let someone go, and then worked through falling into unhealthy coping mechanisms and eventually letting those go. It is such a great...
  6. ChandlerFan

    If the Serial Fornicator is More Forgiven and Accepted than the Divorced Person, Why Bother Risking Marriage?

    Haha, yes, yes it does. I have had my share of moments of being an idiot on the internet. Lol I love that people latched on to that particular statement. My belief in it has caused me to want to speak less online in general. And I guess you could lump catfish into the 90% about 100% of the time :D
  7. ChandlerFan

    It’s official; NZ is ranked number 1 sexiest accent in the world!

    I won't lie, after seeing the movie "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" (highly recommended), I can't hear a Kiwi accent and not want to laugh. I watched Thor: Ragnarok the other day, and when I heard Korg for the first time, I knew he was going to be a hilarious character.
  8. ChandlerFan

    If the Serial Fornicator is More Forgiven and Accepted than the Divorced Person, Why Bother Risking Marriage?

    This is a really good topic to chew on and discuss. Here are my thoughts on it, and particularly on questions you asked or things you said, SeoulSearch. -Do your best not to pay attention to what people on the internet say. 90% of people on the internet are idiots 90% of the time. I would not...
  9. ChandlerFan

    Finding Joy in Jesus Only

    I read a book a few years ago called Desiring God by John Piper that was foundational to me in my faith. And he wrote a follow-up book called When I Don't Desire God. But reading Desiring God really gave me helpful perspective on what it looks like to truly desire Him above all else. It is hard...
  10. ChandlerFan

    Would living common-law be considered married in God's eyes?

    seekfirstthekingdom, I am sorry that you have had all of these confusing and manipulative experiences. The advice offered here already has been great. I am going to just state some things in black-and-white for you. I know your situation is not going to feel so black-and-white to you, but I...
  11. ChandlerFan

    Should Singles and Married People Always be Segregated, Except on Sunday Morning? (Part 2.)

    There are all sorts of churches in between too. I attend a church with around 175-200 people and it is the best experience I have ever had in a church. I attended one around the same size during college as well and it was a fantastic church.
  12. ChandlerFan

    Should Singles and Married People Always be Segregated, Except on Sunday Morning? (Part 2.)

    I guess I have two separate trains of thought as far as this whole discussion goes. One train of thought is that there is truth to the statement that it is unwise for married people to have single friends. There are caveats to that statement, though. As with any relationship, there has to be...
  13. ChandlerFan

    Is There a Way to Stop Seeing Singles as "The Enemy"? (Part 1.)

    I think as general rules regarding this topic, there are boundaries people must maintain whether they are single or married, and past that we can only worry about controlling what we can control. As far as being single goes, I don't think it's wise to have a friendship with a married person of...
  14. ChandlerFan

    A Few Thoughts on Forum Conflict

    There was a cool little community going on here during that time for sure. You make a great point about how conflicts were able to be better handled in private because people were friends with each other off the forum too. That type environment creates some pretty cool dynamics. With that said...
  15. ChandlerFan

    A Few Thoughts on Forum Conflict

    When I first joined CC, I remember being overly impressed with how little conflict there was in the Singles forum. I had frequented another Christian forum long before I became active in the Singles forum here and there was always a ton of conflict there. Here it felt incredibly peaceful...
  16. ChandlerFan

    Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

    He did post again and say "Sorry if I was the snippy one" so he did beat you to the "mirror" punch. Relax, brother. You made fair points in your initial post, but getting caught up in a spat like this takes away from those which I thought were worth discussing.
  17. ChandlerFan

    Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

    I don't really have a dog in this fight, but I will just throw out that it is beyond annoying when significant others rush in to defend their boo at any hint of disagreement on forums. Don't be that guy.
  18. ChandlerFan

    Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

    That brings up a really interesting point. You and I grew up in different eras, and the internet is a huge part of my frame of reference whereas it wouldn't have been around yet in your case. So maybe to rephrase my original post, I would say it is a turnoff when a woman messages me and starts...
  19. ChandlerFan

    Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

    This may or may not be a character flaw, but personally there is something that turns me off about a woman making the first move. I don't think it's a pride thing? But it's just the way that I tend to feel or react. What I do know is that men like to feel like men, and one of the ways that can...
  20. ChandlerFan

    Hello. I am very new here

    I read your profile and I cannot say I am like-minded, but I am glad you are here! I enjoy learning more about alternative perspectives to different things. Glad you found CC :)