Blain's Testimony

Oh lord have mercy on us. I can't stop crying since i read this. Blain God will surely bless you. Jesus loves you and i am very sorry for everything. God bless your soul. You will be healed totally.

Its true that some people truelly blessed with a genuine heart of love, and I see this in you Blain. I try to overcome so many demons in my head, but you really have woke me up. I know that God strengths the weak, and thats what is happening to me right has I speak. Its takes courage to overcome things, but we can do it. I cry alot even when I'm sat on my own feeling cold, I'm a big cry baby, lol, but I cry for my fiance who had a stroke, everytime he fades alittle I panic. I know god is trying to guide me. I pray we improve and I pray we get good blood results from my fiance tests. As I read your testimony I felt so touched, and know g my own life hasn't been perfect I felt that I needed you to show me your story. I really want to feel wanted also, as I suffer with bad feet issues and God knows I relay on my fiance.

Actually I have always had a kind heart but not one of love that was God's doing right there.
You know it's ok to let your tears fall being a cry baby is actually good for you tears are the bodies way of releasing stress and if you hold that in to much it can affect your health even Jesus wept and notice how it says he wept weeping is different from crying weeping is severe crying like tears just pouring none stop he didn't hold back his tears he let his heart flow.

I may not be able to be there for you physically but I will always be there for you here never hesitate to pm me no matter that the reason whether that's for encouragement or advice whether that's just to be able to have someone who is willing to listen or even just small chat. You don't have to carry your troubles by yourself we humans were not built to carry heavy burdens on our shoulders especially not by ourselves

Thank you Blain, sometimes I wonder how to cope with life, everything is thrown at us. I ask god to take care of our needs, as you can see I always include my fiance. Its my biggest worry anything happening to him, as I'm not that independent, due to my feet issues. I'm scared about where we live as none cares enough to talk, and people don't interaction. There is lots of drug dealings every 5 minutes, and it's really upsetting my fiance Rod. We have been together 17 years. His stroke makes him poorly, and he soon gets worked up, which makes me afraid for him. I'm bad on my feet and cant walk far, so I tend to stay indoors these days, I'm only 48. I feel people are passing away all the older ones, and because rod is older than me I worry he's 62. it's been tough. we belong to each other. I'm praying rods blood tests are ok, we worry he has pancreas issues, has he's had pain alittle in his side. I feel like my world is crashing, but I have to keep strong. I wish someone would understand. I write more on here to you, because I know I can't tell all this to anyone. Take Care x

I cannot say I know what your going through but I do understand the feeling. It's a very tiring feeling i remember how I used to wake up before I had sleeping issues I slept great but because of the troubles of life even from the second I wake up my strength is sapped before the day even begins and I crashed mentally emotionally and spiritually many times I just couldn't keep going like that I even considered death like heaven to me because I would no longer feel so exhausted inside just sleep and maybe wake up to heaven but the god wouldn't take my life and I had no intention of attempting suicide again.

So perhaps I do not know what it feels like to deal with the particular problems you are going through but am I right in thinking this is how you feel? or at least somewhat?

Thanks for writing blain, yes I've been really fighting my feelings and feeling afraid for a few days. I'm beginning to realize that I was taking everything on my shoulders and in return getting weird thoughts etc due to my illness, it is a frightening place when you feel you can't cope with issues. but I realize today that everyone gets poorly and with rods illness it's been hard mentally, due to his agitated state at times. I think god has shown me that illness is real and I can't do anymore than my best. and I've learnt to manage when he does get tired etc. I am starting to thank god for being in my life, that why I feel loved. Thank you for being so understanding blain. X

God bless you. To me you are a beautiful person. I am taken back by your testimony. I don't know if you have ever heard Joyce Meyer's testimony, you may be encouraged. I don't know who you are but I love you as a Christian person in Christ. Thank you for your showing such forgiveness. I think you are wonderful and you have inspired me so much. Praise Jesus for you.

Joyce meyer is a heretic. Shame on you for even mentioning her on this thread! Beware of Joyce Meyer

God bless you. To me you are a beautiful person. I am taken back by your testimony. I don't know if you have ever heard Joyce Meyer's testimony, you may be encouraged. I don't know who you are but I love you as a Christian person in Christ. Thank you for your showing such forgiveness. I think you are wonderful and you have inspired me so much. Praise Jesus for you.

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Please don't take me wrong or get offend but my idea of a testimony is how you got saved and God brought you through this ? it is very graphic description of your experience. I do not see how you Met Jesus in all of that .

True I suppose when i made this testimony I didn't explain how I got saved but it seems I didn't need to many of the people who read my testimony told me how they wanted to read it because they saw my posts on the forums and that my words spoke to them and even though I don't agree many would tell me how strong I am because I went through all of this and yet have such a fiery love and passion for God. I understand it's graphic and believe me I held back a lot when I wrote it there is much in my life's story that I didn't write merely because of how graphic it is

well thank you for your explanation,

I just thought it seem to be incomplete without the mentioning of how thr Lord saved you.

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will