Blain's Testimony

Whoa.

I thought i had it bad growing up. I almost never got hurt that badly physically (although most of my suffering was psychological and emotional - long story).

Glad you're here with us, blaine. It seems you're lucky to be alive.

Thank you for sharing.

Demi I am so sad that you had to go through I never want anyone to have go through what I went through, Many don't know what true pain is and complain about their lives some even talk about killing themselves when they ahve a great life and they don't even realize it now the killing themselves part I don't want but I want ppl to remain ignorant to what true pain is because I never want anyone to even have to see that kind of stuff.

God has used this testimony of mine to a very great extent and I think if you told your story he will use it as well

Wow that is so horrible! Why are some people so cruel? Brother you hold your head high because God has a plan for you all you got to do is believe. Our belief is like laying the road so God can drive it home. Keep the Faith! I will be praying for you

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will

Like Blain, I also had a terrible childhood in which my mother tried to kill me several times. She did repent years later but some of the damage done is irreversible.

Some say pain and sorrow builds character. I cannot honestly say that this is true as I don't feel any better for having endured all that. Some people (not many) have said my presence in their lives has been a blessing to them and that I would never have been so good to people over the years if I hadn't endured what I went through. Don't know if it's true. One thing's for certain, if I had to go through all that again I sure as heck wouldn't do so.

Like Blain, I also had a terrible childhood in which my mother tried to kill me several times. She did repent years later but some of the damage done is irreversible.

Some say pain and sorrow builds character. I cannot honestly say that this is true as I don't feel any better for having endured all that. Some people (not many) have said my presence in their lives has been a blessing to them and that I would never have been so good to people over the years if I hadn't endured what I went through. Don't know if it's true. One thing's for certain, if I had to go through all that again I sure as heck wouldn't do so.

I think God can use a bad thing and turn it to good. But when we are talking abuse I dont think that is a character builder.It breaks people,it harms people. God does not agree with abuse,not ever. The Bible says that anyone who harms a child it would be better if a huge stone was around their neck and they were thrown in the deepest sea. So I think that is really a cliche that people use, pain builds character. Thats not true in every situation and its not true of abuse. Abuse is wrong and God takes seriously when a child is abused.

Im so sorry for what you have endured, I'm sure your testimony has and will continue to touch people. I hate that this abuse happened to you yet you have such a sweet spirit in spite if it. Its wonderful that you found the Lord. You say your family says you wont amount to much but you have already! So many with your past turn to drugs or violence. You are special,very special in Gods eyes. Dont ever let anyone make you think you aren't special or you haven't amounted to anything. You are a survivor and you are a child of the King! You don't get more special than that. Blessings.

Like kayla said abuse doesn't build character, true enough had I not gone through what i did I would not know what real pain is what true loneliness is ...

I don't know why I had to grow up as I did and others didn't but God allowed it never the less and so I can only assume he has a plan and reason for it.

On another thread, some folks say that "nice guys" and "nice gals" are actually phonies (or something like that). But as I wrote above, people who have known me over the years have said I would never have been a "nice guy" and been a "blessing" to them if I had not endured what I went through. One thing's for sure, I have never reconciled myself to what I went through in the past. It is likely that I never will.

I hope that you do find out what the purpose was and can reconcile yourself to it. I am now in my 60s and never did.

Hopefully you will have many good years ahead of you and receive the many blessings promised in the Bible but which were denied to me.

I wouldn't want to go through all I did again either at least not before I was Christian but now if I were given the choice to go through it all again my answer being yes or no would depend on my reason for going through it all again.

I would go through it all over again if it were for the sake of others but if it was for any other reason then what is the point? and for that matter what is the point of being a Christian if I am not one for the sake of others? It was never me I was concerned about my reason for existence my reason to be alive is solely for the sake and love of God and others

Yes, there has to be some good to come out of it all or the experience is worthless.

Today I feel much older than my 63 years and incur many medical costs - thankfully they are covered by Medicaid. But some would see that as being a burden on society. On another right wing website which I shall not mention here, I have been called "freeloader" as have others because they say we sickly/disabled types cause taxes to be raised to pay for such costs. One guy even told me I should croak off and stop being such a burden.

So, again, with such criticism directed at me, and with the problems I face on a daily basis, it is very difficult to even try to be reconciled to one's life.

On another thread, some folks say that "nice guys" and "nice gals" are actually phonies (or something like that). But as I wrote above, people who have known me over the years have said I would never have been a "nice guy" and been a "blessing" to them if I had not endured what I went through. One thing's for sure, I have never reconciled myself to what I went through in the past. It is likely that I never will.

Yes, there has to be some good to come out of it all or the experience is worthless.

Today I feel much older than my 63 years and incur many medical costs - thankfully they are covered by Medicaid. But some would see that as being a burden on society. On another right wing website which I shall not mention here, I have been called "freeloader" as have others because they say we sickly/disabled types cause taxes to be raised to pay for such costs. One guy even told me I should croak off and stop being such a burden.

So, again, with such criticism directed at me, and with the problems I face on a daily basis, it is very difficult to even try to be reconciled to one's life.

Well then perhaps you have been listen and been around the wrong people. You are blessed to have your medications taken care of and if anyone is a burden on society it sure isn't you and I highly doubt you are free loader. But to be told to go and die like that I simply could not and will not stand for that I don't know what site this is but I wish i did because I want to talk with these people I feel that God could use me to soften their hearts. If you are willing I would very much like to know the site probably via pm as I don't think it's polite to post a another forum within a forum lol.

But you yourself cannot reconcile your life but God can