My Testimony - Suicide and Self Harm

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Aug 26, 2018
7
17
3
17
#1
Before I begin, I want to give some background info. I'm a 15 year old male, and I struggle with suicided and self harm.

I wanted to share my testimony, because in the greek the word testimony is translated literally, "Do it again". Testimonies in a way are similar to prophecies, because God wants to duplicate our testimonies. I believe there is someone here who will read this, and read what God has done for me regarding this issue, and they will turn to Him and he will also. So, without further ado, here we go.

My journey with self harm began when I was about 7 years old, and I cut myself for the first time. I was really upset with the way I looked. I didn't like my body. I tried to change it.

When I was about 10, I was diagnosed with cancer. Following that, I attempted to hang myself from my coat rack attached to my bedroom wall. I was light, so it held me up. This is my first physical encounter with God. I felt a strong blow of wind, and it knocked me off of the rack and onto the floor before I died. My older sister ran to the noise, and she found me on the floor with a rope around my neck. She stills says to this day, that was the most traumatic experience of her life. God saved me that day. I would have died.

Now, moving on. Lets go to 13 years old. In this timeframe from 7 to 13, I've attempted suicide 11 times. I've failed each one. So, I'm 13 now. I'm in school, and a group of guys takes my books and throws them down the back stairs where I was walking. They throw me down the staircase and begin to beat me. They mock me because of my scars on my wrists and stomach and take my shirt and sweatshirt, making all my scars visible. I wanted to disappear. I didn't know what to do. I got my things and I left unannounced. I ran home and stayed there. I had to walk through the entire school to get out the door, and it was just like in a movie. Everyone whispering, talking, laughing at me. At my scars. Everyone thought I was this happy kid, always had a smile on his face. I was. But, it was all a show.

But, God used me. He used me to cast depression out of the youth in my High School. He has used me to do so many things, I can't begin to name them all. I can't begin to tell you how amazing God is. This God that I serve is greater than any sickness, greater than any disease, greater than anything that is wrong with the world.

In my youth group, when I was in 8th grade, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues, the whole deal. It changed my life, and it set me on fire for youth revival. I want to see a whole generation who rises up and takes the microphone from all of the corrupt teachings of the world, instead they focus on the fire of God. I want to see a whole generation set ablaze for the Kingdom of God. I strive to see this in my city.

God, I speak against any foul spirit that is following all who reads this. I cast these spirits out in the name of Jesus. I pray that you would set their hearts on fire for your Word and for your Message, Jesus. I want to declare a holy boldness on all who stumble upon my testimony. I pray that this be duplicated for anyone, not just teenagers, facing these issues. I speak healing, and I speak a sound mind into all of your faithful servants right now in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I pray all of these things in the mighty, holy, and healing name of Christ Jesus. Amen!

God Bless,
Gabe.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
17,158
1,699
113
#2
wow.... I mean I have read a lot of testimonies but this one astounds me, I mean 11 times of attempt of suicide and in each one God is like nope. My friend you have had it way to hard in life but with as much as God has used you already he is going to use your pain and suffering to even greater lengths. There are many out there just like you who have gone through a lot fo the same things and bear the same scars not just physical ones but inner ones as well and many you may walk past everyday thinking how happy they seem and how many friends they must have.

You know what it is like to not like the way you look, you know what it is like to think being dead seems better than being alive, you know what it is like to fell the cut on your skin and because you know all of this you will be able to understand and connect to others who have known the same thing. For every pain or sadness you have endured that is just one more way for you to be able to connect to others, the strange thing I have noticed in life is that pain and sadness seem to connect people it really helps if someone knows exactly what you have been through. And I love your fire as well the world needs people with that fire in them
 

EmilyFoster

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2018
1,340
1,093
113
#3
I was so touched by reading your testimony, friend. God works in amazing ways and it’s great to hear how he has helped you through some challenging times. All glory to Him for using you in such a powerful way. Please know that I’ll keep you in my prayers. May the Lord continue to bless you as you lean upon His grace each day!
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#4
Before I begin, I want to give some background info. I'm a 15 year old male, and I struggle with suicided and self harm.

I wanted to share my testimony, because in the greek the word testimony is translated literally, "Do it again". Testimonies in a way are similar to prophecies, because God wants to duplicate our testimonies. I believe there is someone here who will read this, and read what God has done for me regarding this issue, and they will turn to Him and he will also. So, without further ado, here we go.

My journey with self harm began when I was about 7 years old, and I cut myself for the first time. I was really upset with the way I looked. I didn't like my body. I tried to change it.

When I was about 10, I was diagnosed with cancer. Following that, I attempted to hang myself from my coat rack attached to my bedroom wall. I was light, so it held me up. This is my first physical encounter with God. I felt a strong blow of wind, and it knocked me off of the rack and onto the floor before I died. My older sister ran to the noise, and she found me on the floor with a rope around my neck. She stills says to this day, that was the most traumatic experience of her life. God saved me that day. I would have died.

Now, moving on. Lets go to 13 years old. In this timeframe from 7 to 13, I've attempted suicide 11 times. I've failed each one. So, I'm 13 now. I'm in school, and a group of guys takes my books and throws them down the back stairs where I was walking. They throw me down the staircase and begin to beat me. They mock me because of my scars on my wrists and stomach and take my shirt and sweatshirt, making all my scars visible. I wanted to disappear. I didn't know what to do. I got my things and I left unannounced. I ran home and stayed there. I had to walk through the entire school to get out the door, and it was just like in a movie. Everyone whispering, talking, laughing at me. At my scars. Everyone thought I was this happy kid, always had a smile on his face. I was. But, it was all a show.

But, God used me. He used me to cast depression out of the youth in my High School. He has used me to do so many things, I can't begin to name them all. I can't begin to tell you how amazing God is. This God that I serve is greater than any sickness, greater than any disease, greater than anything that is wrong with the world.

In my youth group, when I was in 8th grade, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues, the whole deal. It changed my life, and it set me on fire for youth revival. I want to see a whole generation who rises up and takes the microphone from all of the corrupt teachings of the world, instead they focus on the fire of God. I want to see a whole generation set ablaze for the Kingdom of God. I strive to see this in my city.

God, I speak against any foul spirit that is following all who reads this. I cast these spirits out in the name of Jesus. I pray that you would set their hearts on fire for your Word and for your Message, Jesus. I want to declare a holy boldness on all who stumble upon my testimony. I pray that this be duplicated for anyone, not just teenagers, facing these issues. I speak healing, and I speak a sound mind into all of your faithful servants right now in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I pray all of these things in the mighty, holy, and healing name of Christ Jesus. Amen!

God Bless,
Gabe.

Amen! wonderful prayer ❤



And a beautiful testimony thanks for sharing ❤ God bless you ❤
 

philip413

New member
Aug 11, 2018
22
16
3
#5
Before I begin, I want to give some background info. I'm a 15 year old male, and I struggle with suicided and self harm.

I wanted to share my testimony, because in the greek the word testimony is translated literally, "Do it again". Testimonies in a way are similar to prophecies, because God wants to duplicate our testimonies. I believe there is someone here who will read this, and read what God has done for me regarding this issue, and they will turn to Him and he will also. So, without further ado, here we go.

My journey with self harm began when I was about 7 years old, and I cut myself for the first time. I was really upset with the way I looked. I didn't like my body. I tried to change it.

When I was about 10, I was diagnosed with cancer. Following that, I attempted to hang myself from my coat rack attached to my bedroom wall. I was light, so it held me up. This is my first physical encounter with God. I felt a strong blow of wind, and it knocked me off of the rack and onto the floor before I died. My older sister ran to the noise, and she found me on the floor with a rope around my neck. She stills says to this day, that was the most traumatic experience of her life. God saved me that day. I would have died.

Now, moving on. Lets go to 13 years old. In this timeframe from 7 to 13, I've attempted suicide 11 times. I've failed each one. So, I'm 13 now. I'm in school, and a group of guys takes my books and throws them down the back stairs where I was walking. They throw me down the staircase and begin to beat me. They mock me because of my scars on my wrists and stomach and take my shirt and sweatshirt, making all my scars visible. I wanted to disappear. I didn't know what to do. I got my things and I left unannounced. I ran home and stayed there. I had to walk through the entire school to get out the door, and it was just like in a movie. Everyone whispering, talking, laughing at me. At my scars. Everyone thought I was this happy kid, always had a smile on his face. I was. But, it was all a show.

But, God used me. He used me to cast depression out of the youth in my High School. He has used me to do so many things, I can't begin to name them all. I can't begin to tell you how amazing God is. This God that I serve is greater than any sickness, greater than any disease, greater than anything that is wrong with the world.

In my youth group, when I was in 8th grade, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues, the whole deal. It changed my life, and it set me on fire for youth revival. I want to see a whole generation who rises up and takes the microphone from all of the corrupt teachings of the world, instead they focus on the fire of God. I want to see a whole generation set ablaze for the Kingdom of God. I strive to see this in my city.

God, I speak against any foul spirit that is following all who reads this. I cast these spirits out in the name of Jesus. I pray that you would set their hearts on fire for your Word and for your Message, Jesus. I want to declare a holy boldness on all who stumble upon my testimony. I pray that this be duplicated for anyone, not just teenagers, facing these issues. I speak healing, and I speak a sound mind into all of your faithful servants right now in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I pray all of these things in the mighty, holy, and healing name of Christ Jesus. Amen!

God Bless,
Gabe.
Words of commendation!
Trauma sufferings come in different forms and I hear you completely. I know what it's like to suffer from trauma. Only Jesus has the power to cure anyone who suffer from trauma. I am glad you came out and shared your testimony. Hopefully, it helps many.

Amen.
 

student

Senior Member
Jul 20, 2010
1,025
145
63
#6
Suicide attempts were a part of my past as well. God is SOOOOOO Good. I'm very proud of you. And I'm glad you didn't succeed...it's the only thing I hope you never succeed in...even as I know you'll never try again. God bless, dear friend. -student
 

FIRE_of_ELIJAH

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2013
387
16
18
#7
This is very radical, 11 suicides attempts that never succeeded? You've been through a lot at such young age and God always intervened, thanks to Him. I mean I experienced hell in my life also from " anxiety disorder" but yours was way too much. Im really blessed by your story , young man...I believe Jesus will use you in such a might way for this generation.....there are many individuals who are still suffering from depressions, anxiety, ocd, bipolar, mental illness etc.....These people need the healing touch of God and your testimony. .....God bless
 
Aug 26, 2018
7
17
3
17
#8
This is very radical, 11 suicides attempts that never succeeded? You've been through a lot at such young age and God always intervened, thanks to Him. I mean I experienced hell in my life also from " anxiety disorder" but yours was way too much. Im really blessed by your story , young man...I believe Jesus will use you in such a might way for this generation.....there are many individuals who are still suffering from depressions, anxiety, ocd, bipolar, mental illness etc.....These people need the healing touch of God and your testimony. .....God bless
It was prophesied over me that I would lead a revival for this generation. Thank you so much!!!
 

FIRE_of_ELIJAH

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2013
387
16
18
#9
It was prophesied over me that I would lead a revival for this generation. Thank you so much!!!
Tell me the whole story about this prophecy of yours. It looks exciting regarding this story. God bless
 
Aug 26, 2018
7
17
3
17
#10
Tell me the whole story about this prophecy of yours. It looks exciting regarding this story. God bless
I'll share the word. I have it saved.

I hear God telling me, “You must answer the call. You must depart from the crowd. You must denounce the unjust. You must carry the torch. I shall open up the floodgates of Heaven over all of you. You just have to ask for Me. You must seek me first above all else, and you shall receive what you have shook my kingdom for. You’ll receive what you have been called to bring to this Generation. You will bring to them only what I have sent you. I have sent you for the sole purpose of marking those of this generation’s heads with oil. I have sent you to transfer fire from the old and the wise to the young and the bold. I have sent all of you here tonight to send a message to the enemy: This generation is about to make their move. This generation is about to move across this nation. These young people will fill their schools with the gospel. They shall not be afraid of man, but rather feed off of them. They will captivate audiences with the Truth of God and they will not hesitate to prophesy as I call them to. They will not be fearful to be abnormal. They shall not fear anything at all; but rather find excitement in spreading the message of the Kingdom of God. I am going to pour out My spirit on all flesh and blood. The nations shall be saved. They shall be renewed. They shall be restored. They shall not fear to witness to the masses of unbelievers. They shall not fear what their friends will think of them; the opinions of those around them pale in comparison to what I have for them. They will not worry about the enemy. Any attacks of the enemy shall not prosper; shall not weaken them in faith, but they will turn their eyes to the hills, and return to the secret place where I welcome them with open arms. They will bring change. They will be the start of this move of My spirit. It starts with them. Not just a few of them, no, but all of them. Each one must make the choice to either accept My spirit and thrive for My Kingdom in a world of the corrupt and evil, or to turn away from the Truth of My Word and fall into sin.

There is a cloud beginning to swell among you. There is a mighty storm of My presence beginning to form in the earth. There is a Word growing in your youth. There is a mighty wind blowing through My young people. You mustn’t rebuke them, rather let them speak. You mustn’t speak over them, rather let the Spirit speak through them. This generation needs to construct a place for Me. They need to build a place for Me to commune with them. Build Me a place. Build Me a place. Build Me a place.
 

FIRE_of_ELIJAH

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2013
387
16
18
#11
I'll share the word. I have it saved.

I hear God telling me, “You must answer the call. You must depart from the crowd. You must denounce the unjust. You must carry the torch. I shall open up the floodgates of Heaven over all of you. You just have to ask for Me. You must seek me first above all else, and you shall receive what you have shook my kingdom for. You’ll receive what you have been called to bring to this Generation. You will bring to them only what I have sent you. I have sent you for the sole purpose of marking those of this generation’s heads with oil. I have sent you to transfer fire from the old and the wise to the young and the bold. I have sent all of you here tonight to send a message to the enemy: This generation is about to make their move. This generation is about to move across this nation. These young people will fill their schools with the gospel. They shall not be afraid of man, but rather feed off of them. They will captivate audiences with the Truth of God and they will not hesitate to prophesy as I call them to. They will not be fearful to be abnormal. They shall not fear anything at all; but rather find excitement in spreading the message of the Kingdom of God. I am going to pour out My spirit on all flesh and blood. The nations shall be saved. They shall be renewed. They shall be restored. They shall not fear to witness to the masses of unbelievers. They shall not fear what their friends will think of them; the opinions of those around them pale in comparison to what I have for them. They will not worry about the enemy. Any attacks of the enemy shall not prosper; shall not weaken them in faith, but they will turn their eyes to the hills, and return to the secret place where I welcome them with open arms. They will bring change. They will be the start of this move of My spirit. It starts with them. Not just a few of them, no, but all of them. Each one must make the choice to either accept My spirit and thrive for My Kingdom in a world of the corrupt and evil, or to turn away from the Truth of My Word and fall into sin.

There is a cloud beginning to swell among you. There is a mighty storm of My presence beginning to form in the earth. There is a Word growing in your youth. There is a mighty wind blowing through My young people. You mustn’t rebuke them, rather let them speak. You mustn’t speak over them, rather let the Spirit speak through them. This generation needs to construct a place for Me. They need to build a place for Me to commune with them. Build Me a place. Build Me a place. Build Me a place.
You mean there's a prophet who told you this thing? How the whole thing happened? This is very interesting if you give the full story behind this. What I mean, did you receive this prohecy when having a youth camp or just in your church when Devine service during Sunday?
 
Aug 26, 2018
7
17
3
17
#12
You mean there's a prophet who told you this thing? How the whole thing happened? This is very interesting if you give the full story behind this. What I mean, did you receive this prohecy when having a youth camp or just in your church when Devine service during Sunday?

I actually received this word during a revival meeting at my youth group. It was also prophesied over me that God would use me to cause a shift in my generation.
 
Nov 6, 2018
5
0
1
#13
This is very radical, 11 suicides attempts that never succeeded? You've been through a lot at such young age and God always intervened, thanks to Him. I mean I experienced hell in my life also from " anxiety disorder" but yours was way too much. Im really blessed by your story , young man...I believe Jesus will use you in such a might way for this generation.....there are many individuals who are still suffering from depressions, anxiety, ocd, bipolar, mental illness etc.....These people need the healing touch of God and your testimony. .....God bless
https://christianchat.com/filipino-...rns-into-a-professing-christian.177016/page-2