Sounds pretty much like what I'd say for myself. Except I don't view my bluntness as a negative. Maybe replace it with frustrated.
In my experience most people don't like blunt, sensitive or not. Nor does it matter how you present it or your intentions. Being direct is almost seen as a sin among many Christian's. But that doesn't make it wrong.
I hope you don't mind me saying, but the last 3 could be strengths as well, just depending on what they used for
.
Oddly I have seen the reverse. At the job I know a lot of people who are like what you describe. At church I can be direct and blunt and they know I'm a friend and take what I said as coming from a friend.
, and I've made plenty of my own errors.
And THAT, ma'am, is the beginning of true wisdom. My life got a lot more peaceful when I realized this. Much less drama.
There can be times when being blunt is needed, but the way it's packaged is even more important.
The message might be on target, but the way it's presented might be wrong or sometimes even inappropriate. Sometimes there is so much focus on the message that the packaging (which makes the first impression) is completely ignored.
I've been around a lot of people at church, work, or social situations who pride themselves on being "real", but what I think is even more important is to watch and see how they react when others return the favor.
For some odd reason, I'd say about 95% or more of the people I've worked with who claim it's their God-given talent to be "real" with people absolutely cannot handle it themselves. They crumble, explode, and blame everyone else at even the slightest hint of opposition or what they perceive as negative feedback about themselves.
I have no problem with people being blunt with me. I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed myself so maybe I need a little bluntness
But if a person has demonstrated that they can't take others pointing their own behaviors out to them in the exact same way they seem to enjoy dishing it out to everyone else, it's hard to take much of what they say seriously.
(I apologize for derailing your thread, LHM, but it seemed like an important topic.)
In the past, I've had friends like this who were more than happy to point out everything they thought I was doing wrong, but if I dared mention anything in their own lives or approach, they would blow up and then think they could get back at me by not talking to me for however long.
In my younger years, I would give up and just let someone like that criticize everything about me to their heart's content, while I said nothing or went along with what they said in order to try to appease their temper. Inside, I was dying to be able to defend myself and point out that if they were pointing out my faults line-by-line, they needed to allow me a turn to be able to do the same for them.
Eventually, I came to realize that the silent treatment after the blowups was actually peace rather than punishment, and now choose to let those types of one-sided "friendships" go silent permanently.
The closest friends I have tell me like it is without insulting my character and allow me to say something back, even when they know it's going to be something they might not want to hear.
I dont know about OPs premise but just going to say regarding silent treatment...There can be times when being blunt is needed, but the way it's packaged is even more important.
The message might be on target, but the way it's presented might be wrong or sometimes even inappropriate. Sometimes there is so much focus on the message that the packaging (which makes the first impression) is completely ignored.
I've been around a lot of people at church, work, or social situations who pride themselves on being "real", but what I think is even more important is to watch and see how they react when others return the favor.
For some odd reason, I'd say about 95% or more of the people I've worked with who claim it's their God-given talent to be "real" with people absolutely cannot handle it themselves. They crumble, explode, and blame everyone else at even the slightest hint of opposition or what they perceive as negative feedback about themselves.
I have no problem with people being blunt with me. I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed myself so maybe I need a little bluntness
But if a person has demonstrated that they can't take others pointing their own behaviors out to them in the exact same way they seem to enjoy dishing it out to everyone else, it's hard to take much of what they say seriously.
(I apologize for derailing your thread, LHM, but it seemed like an important topic.)
In the past, I've had friends like this who were more than happy to point out everything they thought I was doing wrong, but if I dared mention anything in their own lives or approach, they would blow up and then think they could get back at me by not talking to me for however long.
In my younger years, I would give up and just let someone like that criticize everything about me to their heart's content, while I said nothing or went along with what they said in order to try to appease their temper. Inside, I was dying to be able to defend myself and point out that if they were pointing out my faults line-by-line, they needed to allow me a turn to be able to do the same for them.
Eventually, I came to realize that the silent treatment after the blowups was actually peace rather than punishment, and now choose to let those types of one-sided "friendships" go silent permanently.
The closest friends I have tell me like it is without insulting my character and allow me to say something back, even when they know it's going to be something they might not want to hear.
