Im 59 , married 25 years , no biologicals , 5 step daughters , 3 step grandsons and 2 step granddaughters and an unknown on the way early next year .
50 plus
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3 of my kids are my wife's. Their father died when they were young. They don't like "step", so I don't use it. All of the grands are from my biological kids.
This is beautiful.
For you, it's just "my kids" -- that inclusion can really mean a lot to a person, even as a grown adult.
I knew another family whose grandfather always made the distinction of, "my adopted grandchildren from Korea." His grandson would publicly "correct" him saying, "No, Grandpa. I'm just your grandson."
My parents never pointed out that I was somehow different to them in anyway.
It's always just, "This is our daughter."
(Unless, of course, someone has questions, which is understandable, seeing as I'm an entirely different race than them!)
Ok, interesting story from my past. I lived with my grandparents for a short time in Central Valley CA at the end of my HS junior year. There was a white family at our church who had adopted a Korean girl as a baby. She grew up as "white" as the rest of us.This is beautiful.
For you, it's just "my kids" -- that inclusion can really mean a lot to a person, even as a grown adult.
I knew another family whose grandfather always made the distinction of, "my adopted grandchildren from Korea." His grandson would publicly "correct" him saying, "No, Grandpa. I'm just your grandson."
My parents never pointed out that I was somehow different to them in anyway.
It's always just, "This is our daughter."
(Unless, of course, someone has questions, which is understandable, seeing as I'm an entirely different race than them!)
When I started dating her, my grandmother and great-grandmother had a "talk" with me to explain that I shouldn't be dating someone of another race.
The punchline? My great-grandmother was Choctaw who married an Irishman...
It's astonishing how rampant "race hypocrisy" is.
When I was in college, I had a friend who was adopted from India, and she was darker than a lot of blacks and Hispanics.
She told us how her grandfather would often lecture her, saying, "You need to marry a nice, WHITE man..."
I mean, it's great that he apparently saw her as being just another member of the family...
But oh my goodness, how can people be so blind at the same time?!
Kind of a cute story, I was telling my Grandpa once (I was a lot younger then, lol) that I had hoped to adopt kids someday.
He said, almost in a whisper (as if it was some kind of forbidden topic,) "YYY - using my full first name -- Do you ever think you'd adopt... a foreigner?!"
I was really holding back my laugh on that one!!
I wanted to tell him, "Um... Grandpa... I hate to tell you this, but they've already slipped one (a "foreigner" -- me!) past you!!"
Le sigh.
May God bless 'em all.
I just had the one, a daughter, 46 years old. 5 grandchildren though, along with 1 great-grandchild and another on the way.
In a way, we are all adopted by Jesus. Or Jesus had us before the foundation of the world?
No matter birth, or adopt, there is no coincidence where we are, what we do .... all under Father s care.
No matter birth, or adopt, there is no coincidence where we are, what we do .... all under Father s care.
I use step because my husband's ex wife is very much alive and close to her daughter's . When I was young , my mum and dad got divorced ( it was a good thing ) and for over ten years my mum had a revolving door of boyfriends . I hated all but one of them , not because they ever did me any harm , it was because they were imposed upon me and took my mum away from me . So , when I met hubby's five young girls , I did not impose myself on them and when they visited their dad I kept away as much as I could and let them have him all to themselves . I never wanted them , for one second , to feel as if I was in any way in competition with them or that I was in any way a threat to them , so , I kept my distance . I still don't offer them my advice or opinions ( which is very hard for me because I do love them so I want to warn / help them all the time ) unless they ask me for my thoughts . My experience as a child of divorce with a different step dad every week , taught me some things . My mum recently tried to blame me for her promiscuity by telling me that the reason she had so many different boyfriends was because she was looking for a dad for me . Nice huh ? She seems to forget that I remember them , at least half of them were already married . In the end she settled on an alcoholic lorry driver that didn't care about his own kids nevermind me . The lesson is ? All experiences have the potential to help us grow into a better person , the crappier the experience , the bigger the lesson . My step daughters like me , so I count that as a win .
Thank you for sharing.
Always amazed how every believer has a story that is different than others.
We are like the pebbles on the beach, not 2 are the same.