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"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
"I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a 'recreational vehicle.' And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?"
"I suppose."
"No papers?"
"No papers, state to state."
"Well then, in winter I will live in... Arizona. Actually, I think I will need two wives."
"Oh, at least."
"I suppose."
"No papers?"
"No papers, state to state."
"Well then, in winter I will live in... Arizona. Actually, I think I will need two wives."
"Oh, at least."
"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death."
"A scout has a certain look... Kit Carson, for example. You look like... a muleskinner!"
"Uh, General I don't know anything about mules..."
"Lieutenant, it's amazing how I can guess the profession of a man just by looking at him! Notice the bandy legs, the powerful arms. This man has spent years with mules. Isn't that right?"
"Uh, yes sir!"
"Hire the muleskinner!"
"Uh, General I don't know anything about mules..."
"Lieutenant, it's amazing how I can guess the profession of a man just by looking at him! Notice the bandy legs, the powerful arms. This man has spent years with mules. Isn't that right?"
"Uh, yes sir!"
"Hire the muleskinner!"
