I need a new definition of who Ronnie is, I have been defined all my life by the woman who bore me, i.e. my Daddy's wife, by school mates, and by co-workers, and by nearly every other person.
I am not going to refer to my Daddy's wife as mother anymore, but privately, I can't talk that way to my younger brother, he won't believe nor accept that kind of talk; I can't talk that way to him, but if I could write a book.
God used that to make me the merciful and tender hearted man I am to day. God uses adversity as his molding and teaching tools.
My Dad never had love and daily non-sexual intimacy of his wife (had 4 kids), she was a Cold Fish, frigid.
I know that I have been a conformer, conforming to people's image and idea of me, I know that I have a passive mind, but this is a new beginning for me and I believe that there is a bright future for me.
Her idea of sex got transferred to me, she thought that sex period was fulger, I am convinced, so I picked that up. I grew up hating to be touched, in the 70s I was standing at a customer service counter of a dept. store where I worked when a female co-worker walked up and her hand lightly brushed mine. I jerked my hand to my chest.
A man at my church knew this about me so he hugged me until it was uncomfortable, he tried to help me.
The most uncomfortable time was when a Cambodian boy rubbed my shoulders (how do you spell the word I am looking for), talk about painful, but I couldn't let him know so I endured.
I overcame a lot of this crap (pardon my french, hehe).
I am not going to refer to my Daddy's wife as mother anymore, but privately, I can't talk that way to my younger brother, he won't believe nor accept that kind of talk; I can't talk that way to him, but if I could write a book.
God used that to make me the merciful and tender hearted man I am to day. God uses adversity as his molding and teaching tools.
My Dad never had love and daily non-sexual intimacy of his wife (had 4 kids), she was a Cold Fish, frigid.
I know that I have been a conformer, conforming to people's image and idea of me, I know that I have a passive mind, but this is a new beginning for me and I believe that there is a bright future for me.
Her idea of sex got transferred to me, she thought that sex period was fulger, I am convinced, so I picked that up. I grew up hating to be touched, in the 70s I was standing at a customer service counter of a dept. store where I worked when a female co-worker walked up and her hand lightly brushed mine. I jerked my hand to my chest.
A man at my church knew this about me so he hugged me until it was uncomfortable, he tried to help me.
The most uncomfortable time was when a Cambodian boy rubbed my shoulders (how do you spell the word I am looking for), talk about painful, but I couldn't let him know so I endured.
I overcame a lot of this crap (pardon my french, hehe).
