A realy confusing life, I need clarity

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La0Michael

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ow family,... im gonna explain alll of me, but im only gonna ask for help on age 17 thru present. i just turned 18 in september. so it wont be super extensive, but In recent threads ive gotten answers that havent really helped,
my problem, is that im confused, i need guidance, not correction feel free to tell me what i did that was wrong. for the most part i already know what ive been doing thats ben wrong but this is what i need anyone who responds to this to do, point me, in the right direction, ok? thats true help, to one, send me to the main one that helps all of us, but to also guide me, as my family ok?
Thank you for anyone who reads and or answers, or prays for me, ok?
im gonna summarize my life before now, so u can see that this is been an everyday thing for me
I was delivered to God 4x's twice before i was born once again on the birth table (had spinal bifida) (side note: i shouldnt be able to walk, but im currently the best street dancer in MO) proof that Gods hand is on my life right?
the fourth time i rememebr i was about 4 and i was dedicated to God at my church randomly in the middle of service i rememebr it because the elder was holding me everyone was surrounding me and praying for me and at the time the elder scared me because he was tall and had a deep he told me i had a calling on my life my mama told me i used to see angels how? you could sit me with no toys no pacifier no nothing in front of a wall,.. and id end up laughin very hard, she knew i could see angels,
anyway lol ive always been spiritually gifted, when i was little

age 3-6 i would wake up every night at 3AM and watch spirits walk through my backyard etc,.. my mama told me i was overimaginative,.
i could always tell what was good and wat was bad, if there was a bad spirit or a person who had very bad tendencies id dislike them. say if a person with murderous intent in their heart wanted to talk to or hold me id cry or run, etc..other than that i liked everyone i met. when i was little, i would astral project, non intentionally,.. why? no clue,. there was things in my room that had a spirit attached to them... namely toys that were left by the previous owners.. everytime i touched looked at for a long time that toy? id have a nightmare that night,,
i always told my mama and dad i could hear my angels and holyspirit,.... they said ok theo good job stuff like that,
age 7-12 i got saved at 7 in church, but i was one that thought everytime i sinned i had to get resaved lol
at 8 truly met jesus for myself,.. i cried watching jesus being crucified
there was one week in june, that i saw death everyday that week. literally.
monday i almost got hit by a truck, that from when i first looked was 7blocks away and not speeding.. 8 or nine steps into the street the grill was in my face and the horn was blaring..
tuesday walking home from school i almost got eaten by a pack of stray dogs i had a feeling an angel diverted their attention because no one was outside but suddenly the dogs all looked one way and ran,
wensday i almost fell off a wall, face first and later that day the monkeybars which were very high i know because a 6'3 man had to jump hard to reach them and his feet would dangle

thursday i almost got shot by a man making a gun sale,
friday me and my dad had to run through a shoot out between thugs and cops, a bullet landed near us,
saturday the ceiling almost fell on me,...
sunday my dad almost got crushed by a truck,.. he was lookin in the trunk of our car,. and the back of the car was flattened,..
he said he doesnt rememeber a thing because the car never beeped, he only felt a strong thrust and he was safe on the curb,.. after crying i went upstairs and asked God who saved my dad, God said i did,..
and my dads angel said and "i helped,.". a little spooked out i asked who said that annd my dads angel rplied "i did.. im your dads guardian angel,..." and my angel spoke and said " and im yours," now,,, did i ask them to speak to me? nope,.. bu tthey did.. and they were comforting,, i felt safe talkin to them,, by this time i was discouraged to bring it to my parents because they always told me i was overimaginative so i suppressed that event that night i broke down and prayed a prayer asking to be saved...

a few months later while in time out at an afterschool program i looked up from having my head down and saw two angels,.. standing behind a teacher and a kid,.. felt that same comfort and love,
months after that a prophetess came to our church and preached afterwards she made the youth come up from youth service to be prayed on... and when coming to me, she stopped, put holy oil on my head and asked the pastors to join her, she began to pray and again stressed the fact that i have a calling on my life,...
thru the yrs
this happened again an again with my pastors elders singers ministers etc visiter preachers all that,..,. on praying sessions where the holyspirit filled the room and instead of service had a prayer session everytime an elder or pastor reached me theys stop, pray harder and tell me i have a calling on my life,.

this was a rought time of life living in a bad neighborhood all that,..
movin on...
age 13-16 we'd moved and this house felt ackward,.. scary even,,, why no idea
but once i was takin out the trash and a dog was in the backyard,. it was barking an growling viciously... i prepared to fight it,.. now,. suddenly it got quiet and sat,..... and when i left it went nuts again.. on the way back up the stairs,.. i heard a female voice,. now yet again i made no attempts to contact it, at all,
but i heard this, " didnt know you could have a female guardian angel huh?" being freaked out that a womans voice popped up in my head i suppressed it,

i believe that was another encounter with an angel...
and life was ok, i was in middle school and was living a half baked christian life this continued on thruout highschool but
mind you the saaaame thing still happened.
eveyr new yrs at mychurch when prayer would happen when they got to me, theyd tell me i have a calling on my life,
every time i prayer session opeend up they would do it again and pray over me, as well as others but i noticed the way they prayed over me was special and they would always mention a calling on mylife whether i knew the pastor singer person or whomever., put it this way, if you came into my church and you can hear God clearly, and he tells you to pray,.. i dont care if you pray for 500 people,.. if i was in that group, when you got to me he'd tell u " this one has a calling on his life"......

now in highschool everynight even tho i wasnt living right id pray "God allow me to come into whatever u have for me when i go into my senior yr of highschool",..
now, this ends the first part,... you know a little about me, and if you feel the need to ask a question or inquire more,? quote the part you need and ask away,.. or email me, k? thanks part two is next,.. take a break if you need to lol, i hope im not too long winded, i just wanna get you to understand.


Now moving on up to

consider this,.. NONE of this hapened until my senior yr of highschool... i was living a half christian life for a loong time but everynight i would pray "God bring me into what you have for me when i hit my senior yr" i turned 17 sept 8th in senior yr, and

4 days later was attacked by spirits,.. two of them obviously demons, how? they felt malicious wispered alot, and when id say jesus theyd cringe, and or move back, the feeling was of total paralyzation, couldnt breathe but could barely mouth "in the name of jesus get off me! over and over.... felt instinctive,.. to do that. after gettin my dad we prayed and i didnt go to sleep, was a little to shooken,, afterwards, my parents told some people at church and they prayed for me....

i've always ben spiritually gifted but i supressed it, ive always ben able to astral project,.. never knew how,. just did it,.. ive been attacked/bothered by spirits plenty of times, but not until i was 17 that it was that bad that i felt i would die, or was willing to get up and speak on it,.. ok?> u with me so far?
at this point i got tired of suppressing everything because it seemed it would happen whether i wanted it to or not,

i found out i was good at reading people,. not physcic type reading,..
i can give you an example, at my job we recently got a new boss,..
she came into the employee break room to greet me, she said in a very happy voive "hi theo im your new boss becca!" and shook my hand the moment, and i do mean the moment our hands touched my immediate reaction
was.....
"whoa your a jerk"
now i didnt say this outloud,.. or make a face to signify it but thats what i felt, and i never dislike anyone without reason,.. you know? so i went and told my co workers, what i felt,.. i was like " ummmm shes mean " theyre like,.. theo she couldnt be you havent even known her for a half hr, but after a week and a half, the workplace except one person dislikes her,...

and if someone comes to me with a dream i can see it,.. and its like i was there,.. now again ima say it and say it again this is non intentional, and ive ben warned and warned, and warned, but after the attacks and reconnection with my gifts i started projecting why? i dont know!!!!! i asked to come into what God has for me, and yes i have a sense of spiritual right and wrong. certain things have always scared me or made m cautious from day one.,.. period,.. now this is one of those things but not for me.,..... if i waqs to try and project? i know it would be wrong so i would feel bad and wrong... you get me? but i dont.. and never have why? i dont know. and before i go on,. this is what i neeed soooo despratel;y need from anyonme who answers this ok?


DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT continuosly tell me what im doing wrong. im coming for help on something im confused on, i even mentioned earlier that i been warned and told that this was wrong. but if its unintentional and i havent done anything to cause it then what??

now next problem, ive always heard angels and the holyspirit, on diffrent octaves what do i mean?

the holyspirit is a small still voice,.. and he corrects me comforts me and tells me things i need to know he loves on me when i need it and protects me

my angels, are small voices and do the same as the above and ive stopped talkin to them on precaution but as a kid i always have, and there was no problems they made me feel safe and corrected me when i was wrong. if u want more info on this feel free to ask,

but im gonna say again take time to understand and put yourself in my shoes, ok? all this was natural to me, i havent asked for it or tried to get it to come to me,
i want to explain something to you all.. k?

now this may be what has caused it, after going to plenty of church members whove done what that quote says up there i got hurt,.. it hurt me that the people who watched me grow up could only tell me wrong from right and not help me not a single bit, it hurt and i fet extremely alone, now thats why im touchy about that, im HERE cus i know something i did was wrong and for the most part i dont know what it was so maybe i should tell you this journey up till now,.. all of the following is from 17 to 18,..

after the feeling of being abandoned set in i came here, the first time, when i was 17 im 18 now... and i met a guy, he was very spiritual , and i was very cautious ok but eventually i came to trust him.

why? everything he said sounded insane but i always asked him to back it up with the bible, and if he couldnt find a good supporting scripture i wouldnt trust him, for the msot part he was legit, and clencher! he cared he didnt just say what i was doing wrong but he would tell me what to do right... tell me how to fix it things like that,.. now he is in short a non denomonational christian with like properties ever since he was young hed be attacked by demons etc, and his pastor would help him and show him how to stop things,
now there are a few things that may come across your mind when i say this but hold on for me and let me explain
when i first admitted to him that i think i hear angels he coached me and said yes , he said we all have guardian angels etc, now, i researched and questioned him till he was blue to make sure that this wasnt the cult that worshipped angels etc,..
that wasnt the case, ill say again he was a non denomonational christian with widened views on spiritual gifts etc. now
he would encourage me to read my bible stray from sin allll that good stuff so, why not trust him? plus the things he taught me worked.,.. he was there when everyone else kept shunning me and tryna chastize me instead of giving me direction.
thats not what i needed....

i was scared... so scared.. my close freind the only one who truly understands me. was telling me to pray ask God for help
but i had alll these gifts that were being rememebered,. and all this stuff,..
now continuing on
after the attacks continued, i began to read psalms 91, over n over and slept on it, literally,.. and it kept me safe, but the times where i would NON INTENTIONALLY astral i would still get attacked!! so i asked him for help, feeling he was the only one available, he told me to form in my mind protection and ask the holyspirit for help, i did,.. the next time i astralled and saw a demon i prayed, and it went away,.. on another occasion. i met what seemed to be called a succubus, a female lust demon, how do i know? i didnt know her, she came onto me and her eyes were slitted, and cat like,.. after she touched me i felt a strong sense of RUN or FIGHT so i pushed her off me, etc, now in another astral and rememebr alllll of this is non intentionall,... ok? i met another succubus, and i pushed her and eventually punched her, now this caused two more demons to pop up and we began to fight, i noticed i had swords, but still i lost that fight, and this scared me greatly, due to fear i didnt astral for a while... even though all of these were non ntentional i believe my fear of attack is what kept me from doing it,..now like every kid whos willing to serve God to the fullest id pray i prayed when i met that guy i prayed when asking for help i prayed when i astralled and didnt know why and i prayed and prayed and prayed not to go astray for this no tto be the wrong thing to do allll of that,. ok?? i have had precautions from the start

now, moving on soon i told my parents they told me to stray away from it, and i did, but then things would get bad again... so what else to do?? i felt alone and scared, so i went back, and understand i told my youth pastors about this and they were the ONLY ones to listen to me. and be ok with my decision. why? they trusted God and they listened My youth pastor used to astral project on purpose and he knows its wrong. now when i came to him about this he understood that i DO NOT IN ANY WAY TRY TO ASTRAL PROJECT so they prayed a prayer of deliverance and guidance. and things got better, now check this... i somehow got ahold of a mare demon, how? no clue, wasnt doin anything wrong to attract one. a mare demon orignates from nightmare, so hence the fact that every second of sleep i had was accompanied with a night mare,. and i researched dreams, now it takes 3stages of sleep in order for a person to dream. that normally takes about a half hr, so i tested this out, upon waking up one morning the clock read 5:46 am, i set the timer for 6;12 ... had a night mare.. at 6:12 i set the clock for 6:16 and had a night mare, came to my parents and my Dad got out his war prayer book,
now during this prayer, i shivered, and a wave of peace came over me, literally,.. and i saw about four black shapes rise out of me,.. in my head all of this came from nowhere... and i saw a bunch of angels in the room around me, praying lifting hands, and praying, and the ones ive known to be near me? i saw them in armor and they were fighting with the shadows,.. now that same night after the prayer? i felt lifted i felt great,.. i went to sleep and this is the astral projection or dream i had, i honestly couldnt tell which one it was, i felt seprate from myself,

i was in my room on my bed and there was a snake at my feet, a python., pretty big, i had on boots and it bit at them, landing bite after bite, and eventually all of its teeth fell out, my little sis hopped over it at the point and it struck out at her, this upset me, so i threw a sock at it, it began to swallow it, and i grabbed a pencil sharpener in my room. i unscrewed the sharp part because it looked like a guillotine, when i did it grew,. i dropped it on the snakes head and killed it,..
now help me out,.. if that was the problem. the demon... the solution was the prayer,.. and the result was the OBE or dream how is that horrible or bad???
now both the astralling and the attacks have subsided, and i stopped talkin to that guy little by little,.. but then randomly itll happen... u know? ill astral of have a vision of the future, and its alllways ben this way there is sooo much about me i wanna share and get corrected,.. because i have absolutely no clue what to do,..
now as of right now? my life is a mess,.. why?

my gifts,.. caused me to run from God,.. i was scared of the fact that i didnt understand my gifts and was nearly alone for most of it, i dont know what to do,.. theres soo much more but ima stop for now
 
Don't be afraid.


What you experience is quite normal and believe it or not Biblical. But most people can't read it. Why? Well because of fear. They fear what they don't understand. Astral Projection is the common or wordly name for it. But it existed quite some time before people even knew how to spell Internet or Computer.

So to the first question... is it of God. The answer is simple. If it was done in the Bible then we would know that Yes it is from Him. So here are a few scriptures. And no. Just about everybody is going to go bananas about it, because it is a very feared topic. Why? Because it involves the secret of the Kingdom of Heaven. And if people ever have to talk about that then it would imply that they could actually start to understand the truth behind it and what Jesus has done for us. While in a small way anyway. But anycase...

In 2 Kings Chapter 5. You will read about Elisha...please read the entire story and chapter to understand the context it is in.
But in the end of the chapter Elisha asked his servant if he was not with him, did he not see what has been done? Why? Well to put it into easy to understand terms... Elisha traveled in his spirit to where Gehazi was and witnessed what took place.

2Ki 5:25 But he went in, and stood before his master. And Elisha said unto him, Whence comest thou, Gehazi? And he said, Thy servant went no whither.
2Ki 5:26 And he said unto him, Went not mine heart with thee, when the man turned again from his chariot to meet thee? Is it a time to receive money, and to receive garments, and oliveyards, and vineyards, and sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and maidservants?

2 Corinthians 5
2Co 5:1 For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2Co 5:2 For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: 2Co 5:3 If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.
2Co 5:4 For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
2Co 5:5 Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit.
2Co 5:6 Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:
2Co 5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight:)
2Co 5:8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.
2Co 5:9 Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.
2Co 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

2 Corinthians 12
2Co 12:3 And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth;)
You are welcome to read the rest of the chapter as well...

1 Corinthians 5
1Co 5:2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
1Co 5:3 For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed,

Here Paul speaks specifically how he was with them in spirit. And he refers to a deed that he witnessed and therefore judged. He does not state that he is emphasizing with them or anything. At this stage he was repremanding them.

So yes. Astral projection is quite normal in the Bible.
So why?

John 3.
Joh 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Joh 3:4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
Joh 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Joh 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

Seeing or witnessing is but the first step.
Entering into the spiritual realm is what is supposed to be a common practise with most Christians.
For it is in this that you can enter God's Kingdom (which is by the way in Spirit). And in the Spirit you can obtain the gifts from God such as Healing, Prophecy, etc to give and aid people and fellow Christians.

So first off do not be dismayed.
Secondly... the reason why it happened to you is probably because of the type of gifts that you have been given by the Father at birth. You see some are called to be...
Eph 4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
Eph 4:12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

You have been given a gift. However you still need to grow into that gift and the depths of it. Some gifts do not experience what you experience at the same rate you experience. be patient with them. They really really do not understand. Even if they try and more often than not they do not cause they don't listen.

However their are a couple of important principles for you to understand in this. Even though you go into the spiritual realm you still need to adhere to God's voice. You are at your full senses and can do actions. This means you would be called into accountability for those actions. Pray and ask and listen for God's voice and His instructions. For the Holy Spirit can teach you a lot about these things which most people don't understand.

Secondly when you come in contact with a spirit (I noticed you are not always sure which one it is, a demon or an angel...) remember the basis of what you have been taught in Galatians 5:16-23.

Gal 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
Gal 5:18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Remember what Jesus said: By their fruit you shall know them...

This should aid you in discerning good and evil. Their fruit you will sense, and no matter how they appear, remember to bear in mind the fruit.

Also remember the following... if you are in the Spirit you need protection...

Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Eph 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Eph 6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
Eph 6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Eph 6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

This is literally what it means, if you do not live in truth and you lie,etc you do not have the girlde of truth about you, if you deal unrightiously with those around you, understand that in likewise manner you would not have protection in that area.

If you do not have faith, you do not have a shield, however remember the following scripture:
Rom 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

So if you are in an attack remember to hear and listen for God's voice, for that will give you faith, which will be your shield. And the command He gives you will be your sword. It would usually be some kind of action.

Stay humble, for in humily God will grant you grace. But in arrogance you will falter.

And then avoid the following in your life:


Eph 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

So yes. In a summary: Do not fear.
God is good. And He loves you. He has given you a special gift to aid others.
Many will hunt you and more will refuse to listen to you.
But you must remain focussed on God.
It is not an easy road. But I am sure you are confident and willing to walk the path of God fully.

Be at peace, and know that God is with you.
Blessings
 
Dear Heavenly Father: you know our unspoken needs and prayers before we utter them. Lord we trust You and thank You for Your many blessings. Reveal to us Your truth and bind the darkness that surrounds us. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Matthew 11:27-29

New King James Version (NKJV)

27 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.



May you find rest in Christ Jesus.

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.
 
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Sorry "LOM" - where was I? Oh yes!

Life can be as simple or complicated as you make it. But it's yours for the making & He is always around if you need guidance, either directly, in contemplation or places like here.
Always remember though;
The only thing to fear is fear itself;
Always expect the unexpected.

Have a good weekend; J.
 
1 John 4:2
This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God,
Sounds like you need some peace and freedom from the spirits and demons that are assaulting your mind and body.
Maybe this scripture will help to ask spirits if they believe that Jesus Christ came in the flesh.
 
I can't even imagine going through all of that, and its been your entire life. Well I don't know you personaly so I can only go off what you have said through your writing. While its true that God has given different gifts of the spirit to us all, I have to look at Gods character. God is love, and his wisdom is far beyond our understanding and in 1 corinthians 10:13 it talks about how God never gives us more than we can bear. So its hard for me to believe that God would permit such a burden on someone as yourself, and down through history God has always prepared his prophets and judges for the important work he has for them. It would seem as if these things are forced in a way, and the fact the you have said your life is a mess lets me know that you are not ready for these gifts, if gifts at all. The point on astral projection can be a tricky one if we don't use the word of God. It is true that we read in Gods word how prophets and those chosen by God were given visions, and would sometimes see these incridible things. Well God would never leave them in the dark about what he has revealed to them, he even gave the heathen king of Babylon a way of knowing his dream through Daniel. Our God does not keep his servants in the dark when he reveals things, or has bestowed gifts on them. A few weeks ago I was living with my family back in Missouri, and I have to say that every day seemed harder and harder. My family can be extremely negative, and there almost seemed to be a complete negative aura surrounding our house. I found myself unmotivated and tired, my thoughts were dark and I could see my spiritual strengths slipping away. I felt like I needed to just leave, but there were so many things that kept me from making that leap. Well I started having the strangest dreams, and I mean I would have the same dream three nights in a row. One dream I kept having was about a demon or demon's, and so in this dream I would see this demon possess these people or person, and it would be someone different every night. I could see myself trying to cast this demon out, and so some nights it would be harder than others, it was almost as if the demon was trying to get to me. These would be so horrifying that I couldn't sleep for long time after I had awaken. Anyways after awhile of having these dream's and others I would pray, and I would pray about what God might want me to do. I wanted to leave but felt I needed Gods blessing, and so one day i bought a bus ticket, packed all everything I could take and left. So now I'm in phoenix with my grandmother who is a very Godly woman, and guess what? No more demonic dreams. So I'm confident now than ever that this is were God wants me to be, and I can feel a new energy and my spiritual strength is begining to grow once again. Read what Jesus says in Mathew 11:29, because Jesus wants us to have peace in him. I guess what I'm saying friend is that yes these things are happening for a reason, and so I feel that there may be something around you that is feeding these negative forces. So keep yourself in prayer and stay close to the word of God, and know that God loves you and will show you the path too peace.
 
I can't even imagine going through all of that, and its been your entire life. Well I don't know you personaly so I can only go off what you have said through your writing. While its true that God has given different gifts of the spirit to us all, I have to look at Gods character. God is love, and his wisdom is far beyond our understanding and in 1 corinthians 10:13 it talks about how God never gives us more than we can bear. So its hard for me to believe that God would permit such a burden on someone as yourself, and down through history God has always prepared his prophets and judges for the important work he has for them. It would seem as if these things are forced in a way, and the fact the you have said your life is a mess lets me know that you are not ready for these gifts, if gifts at all. The point on astral projection can be a tricky one if we don't use the word of God. It is true that we read in Gods word how prophets and those chosen by God were given visions, and would sometimes see these incridible things. Well God would never leave them in the dark about what he has revealed to them, he even gave the heathen king of Babylon a way of knowing his dream through Daniel. Our God does not keep his servants in the dark when he reveals things, or has bestowed gifts on them. A few weeks ago I was living with my family back in Missouri, and I have to say that every day seemed harder and harder. My family can be extremely negative, and there almost seemed to be a complete negative aura surrounding our house. I found myself unmotivated and tired, my thoughts were dark and I could see my spiritual strengths slipping away. I felt like I needed to just leave, but there were so many things that kept me from making that leap. Well I started having the strangest dreams, and I mean I would have the same dream three nights in a row. One dream I kept having was about a demon or demon's, and so in this dream I would see this demon possess these people or person, and it would be someone different every night. I could see myself trying to cast this demon out, and so some nights it would be harder than others, it was almost as if the demon was trying to get to me. These would be so horrifying that I couldn't sleep for long time after I had awaken. Anyways after awhile of having these dream's and others I would pray, and I would pray about what God might want me to do. I wanted to leave but felt I needed Gods blessing, and so one day i bought a bus ticket, packed all everything I could take and left. So now I'm in phoenix with my grandmother who is a very Godly woman, and guess what? No more demonic dreams. So I'm confident now than ever that this is were God wants me to be, and I can feel a new energy and my spiritual strength is begining to grow once again. Read what Jesus says in Mathew 11:29, because Jesus wants us to have peace in him. I guess what I'm saying friend is that yes these things are happening for a reason, and so I feel that there may be something around you that is feeding these negative forces. So keep yourself in prayer and stay close to the word of God, and know that God loves you and will show you the path too peace.


your so right, and i know why my life is a mess, because i allowed my hurt and fear of the unknown scare me away from God, so you could call me a heathen or a choice driven backslidder, either way i know ima fool and Gods asking me to come back to him becayse my abilities have faded as well.