A way for me to share without hurting my pastor's family.

[mlssufan01]

You may see a previous post to help understand. This is just my way of getting things out. Maybe other believers here can encourage, correct or pray; but I don't expect much; I just need this out of my system.
From time to time I would see things my former church posted that triggered/angered/hurt me after a falling out. Long story short the pastor's family cut me off with little explanation, and what explanation they did give was utterly confusing. Since then I have witnessed the utmost hypocrisy in their posts. At this point I have officially cut almost any ties I had remaining with the pastor's family; only the church's facebook page remains liked (which may be unfollowed soon); and other congregants.

The church: Don't do life alone! We are called to be in community!
Me: So why did you leave me alone?

The church: Jesus comes to restore our souls, and restore the stuff around us.
Me: Like the relationship you threw away?

The church: Amazing things happen when we share our hopes and hearts.
Me: When I shared it you pushed me away.

The church: We believe God gives grace to everyone.
Me: Then why won't you show grace to me?

The church: Be strong and courageous.
Me: Why do you keep running away from this?

The church: Be humble and patient, bearing with one another in love.
Me: You have no interest in even trying.

The church: Walk with the wise and become wise.
Me: Paul called divided churches fools.

 

[Magenta]

I am sorry you are still hurting over this. Is there any way you could cut ties with them completely so your wounds would not keep festering in the presence of their indifference and what you see as hypocrisy? Cutting ties completely would mean you would need to stop exposing yourself to them in any way, shape or form: no personal contact, no peeking at their social media pages, no talking to people who also know them, about them. Wipe the slate clean, shake the dust off your feet, make a clean break, and walk away. The alternative is to endlessly cast about for some answer to satisfy your questions of why you have been rejected when they may never materialize. Look after yourself. Develop new friendships. Keep a gratitude list. Count your blessings. Pray for them. It is possible they are well aware of the wrong they have done to you but are too embarrassed and/or proud to openly acknowledge it. Try to forgive them, and falling short of that, forgive yourself.

 

[shittim]

Goes way back to Constantine, he closed down the pagan temples, believers began meeting there, he created "church" based on the roman government model- "if you want to go to heaven you have to go through us" became the rule. Many or most churches today have gone this route, Jesus brought grace, hope, forgiveness, etc. you have to go to a "church" that practices "religion" to get back under the law which could not and never can be adhered to.

 

[Runningman]

"Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction," 2 Thessalonians 2:3

Some versions call "the rebellion" apostasy or the falling away of [the church] as a sign of the last days; a harbinger of the antiChrist.

"And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold." Matthew 24:12

Matthew 24, the gold standard for end times prophecy.

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people." 2 Timothy 3:1-5

It really just sounds like your church leaders are apostates and probably don't even realize it. This isn't uncommon of churches these days and even many individuals. I would get away from them if I were you.

 

[shittim]

"The clean have no fellowship with the unclean"

 

[mlssufan01]

I am sorry you are still hurting over this. Is there any way you could cut ties with them completely so your wounds would not keep festering in the presence of their indifference and what you see as hypocrisy? Cutting ties completely would mean you would need to stop exposing yourself to them in any way, shape or form: no personal contact, no peeking at their social media pages, no talking to people who also know them, about them. Wipe the slate clean, shake the dust off your feet, make a clean break, and walk away. The alternative is to endlessly cast about for some answer to satisfy your questions of why you have been rejected when they may never materialize. Look after yourself. Develop new friendships. Keep a gratitude list. Count your blessings. Pray for them. It is possible they are well aware of the wrong they have done to you but are too embarrassed and/or proud to openly acknowledge it. Try to forgive them, and falling short of that, forgive yourself.

Yeah, as I mentioned, even as recent as January the pastors wife liked my posts, which led to me unfriending them. I didnt bother with the fb page cuz at the time it was irrelevant, but then with the CV the online streams started so, I guess matter of chance. That churchs fb page is the only link between us right now. Knowing it will be the last time I ever see anything from them might be the tough part about, idk.

 

[Blain]

I am so sorry this happened to you, I don't know this church or the people in it but based on what you said they were in the wrong. Firstly it is not love to cut someone off from the church with little to no explanation. If they had a good reason for it then they have a responsibility to at the very least give an explanation for it. I don't know what kind of church they are but I do hope they are not the kind that speak of God and godly things with their lips but their hearts are not of him as I know that there are churches that speak of him with honey on their lips but their actions and doings are like wormwood.

Honestly I have never found (THE) church for me. I have been to many different ones at least the ones I am able to walk to as I am unable to have transportation and while many were good and I enjoyed some of them non ever felt like home to me. The only church that ever felt like home to me was right here in cc, as with any church it has it's good and bad about it it has very sound people and very lets say nutty people but the community here has been family to me and even when I was down and just needed to speak my heart I was never alone and many hands helped me to stand back up.

So never hesitate to express your troubles to us because you are not alone and will always have those who will not understand but help you any way they can. Of course the bible discussion forum may be a different story....

 

[shittim]

Years ago I heard it said, "if you want to be in ministry, be prepared to have your heart broken everyday". This CV is bringing this home to me more and more, those not rooted in relationship with Jesus are having difficulty and acting out. Churches stuck in "religion" and not relationship in Christ are appearing to drive people away who have true relationship.

 

[tourist]

You may see a previous post to help understand. This is just my way of getting things out. Maybe other believers here can encourage, correct or pray; but I don't expect much; I just need this out of my system.
From time to time I would see things my former church posted that triggered/angered/hurt me after a falling out. Long story short the pastor's family cut me off with little explanation, and what explanation they did give was utterly confusing. Since then I have witnessed the utmost hypocrisy in their posts. At this point I have officially cut almost any ties I had remaining with the pastor's family; only the church's facebook page remains liked (which may be unfollowed soon); and other congregants.

The church: Don't do life alone! We are called to be in community!
Me: So why did you leave me alone?

The church: Jesus comes to restore our souls, and restore the stuff around us.
Me: Like the relationship you threw away?

The church: Amazing things happen when we share our hopes and hearts.
Me: When I shared it you pushed me away.

The church: We believe God gives grace to everyone.
Me: Then why won't you show grace to me?

The church: Be strong and courageous.
Me: Why do you keep running away from this?

The church: Be humble and patient, bearing with one another in love.
Me: You have no interest in even trying.

The church: Walk with the wise and become wise.
Me: Paul called divided churches fools.

Find a new church and knock the dust off your feet after you leave.

 

[shittim]

I am having similar experience around here, I go where He tells me to go, seems to me each church has one or some that do NOT know the Lord and like to make a show of how "holy" they are. Jesus told us in these days they would have an outward form of godliness denying the power thereof. I have come to believe when people are born again, Spirit filled, and desiring to walk in faith with a body of believers, the outward form only drive them away and it isn't the Lord they are heeding.

 

[Blain]

I am having similar experience around here, I go where He tells me to go, seems to me each church has one or some that do NOT know the Lord and like to make a show of how "holy" they are. Jesus told us in these days they would have an outward form of godliness denying the power thereof. I have come to believe when people are born again, Spirit filled, and desiring to walk in faith with a body of believers, the outward form only drive them away and it isn't the Lord they are heeding.

There was one church I visited a couple of years ago I didn't have any other clean clothes except my pokemon shirt and black jeans the minute I walked in people stared disapprovingly and one lady came up to me and said to me that pokeman is a product of the devil I didn't want to cause problems so i apologized and explained it was my only clean shirt and said to me young man it wrong to lie to your elders but I wasn't lying.

when the sermon began I sat by myself as to not cause problems during the sermon and the preacher came out with a screen in the back ground with the title the dangers of the gay. I was instantly uncomfortable but decided to give it a chance this preacher openly bashed and condemned them even warning his followers to not even be near one or you might be tainted by their sin. He then went on to tell a story how an abvious gay attempted to come to their church and asked if he could have help understanding why is the way he is and the preacher boasted how he said because you were born a sinner rebuked him and sent him away. At this point I had enough and stood up saying excuse me but who are you to say that to that person? He came to you for help but you called him a born sinner and rejected him, might I remind you we all were born sinners but Christ saves us this person was in need and you condemned him and sent him away.

He answered to me young man you are a child and know nothing the gays are a plague on the church and the body must not be infected if you defend them are you also gay? I replied no I am not but we are called to love and be love Jesus himself healed a person with a horrible skin sickness that no one would go near so if such a person is a plague then is it not our job to heal them when they come to us in need? at the he demanded I leave the church and never return with my foul blasphemous mouth saying this is their church and I will not infect them with my impurity. I answered back This is supposed to be God's house not yours but I will leave only because I cannot bare to see the so called Christian community be so cruel

 

[mlssufan01]

There was one church I visited a couple of years ago I didn't have any other clean clothes except my pokemon shirt and black jeans the minute I walked in people stared disapprovingly and one lady came up to me and said to me that pokeman is a product of the devil I didn't want to cause problems so i apologized and explained it was my only clean shirt and said to me young man it wrong to lie to your elders but I wasn't lying.

when the sermon began I sat by myself as to not cause problems during the sermon and the preacher came out with a screen in the back ground with the title the dangers of the gay. I was instantly uncomfortable but decided to give it a chance this preacher openly bashed and condemned them even warning his followers to not even be near one or you might be tainted by their sin. He then went on to tell a story how an abvious gay attempted to come to their church and asked if he could have help understanding why is the way he is and the preacher boasted how he said because you were born a sinner rebuked him and sent him away. At this point I had enough and stood up saying excuse me but who are you to say that to that person? He came to you for help but you called him a born sinner and rejected him, might I remind you we all were born sinners but Christ saves us this person was in need and you condemned him and sent him away.

He answered to me young man you are a child and know nothing the gays are a plague on the church and the body must not be infected if you defend them are you also gay? I replied no I am not but we are called to love and be love Jesus himself healed a person with a horrible skin sickness that no one would go near so if such a person is a plague then is it not our job to heal them when they come to us in need? at the he demanded I leave the church and never return with my foul blasphemous mouth saying this is their church and I will not infect them with my impurity. I answered back This is supposed to be God's house not yours but I will leave only because I cannot bare to see the so called Christian community be so cruel

This story makes my pastor look like a saint lol. At least I know it could be worse.

 

[Blain]

This story makes my pastor look like a saint lol. At least I know it could be worse.

No your problems are no lesser than mine and matter just as much. we are the body of Christ and the human body is struggling no matter the severity of the struggling it is still struggling, when the human body feels pain no matter the level of the pain it is still pain as such if we the body of Christ struggle then it is struggling if we are in pain the it is painful there is no greater or lesser in my opinion

 

[Mission21]

I understand what you ( OP ) are saying.
- Many people in churches are disappointed / disillusioned.. nowadays.
---
'Modern Church' became another system / establishment.
- The focus is on 'status, power.. etc.'
- Similar to what is going on.. in political system.
---
As Post #3 mentioned, it ( most of current church model ) can be traced to 'time of Constantine'... & Theodosius I.
--
In the midst of 'closing church services, lockdown..'
- Maybe it is time to reflect / search the meaning of 'Church' again..
- Beyond 'packaged services & programs.'

 

[shittim]

His chosen ones in lockdown on Passover for the first time since the original Passover.

 

[mlssufan01]

If someone could help me understand what the pastor means in this email...it didn't make a lot of sense to me; I can provide the email I wrote prior to this response if it helps:


Hello (My Name)!

Trust you are doing well and enjoying our on again, off again spring.

Please know that the doors of (church's name) Church are open to you. You are welcome to come! We will treat you with respect and kindness.

Regarding some of the things that happened in the past, we always hope to grow forward. Everyone grows at their own pace and we believe it is important to be respectful and gracious to all. In time, we believe God brings good even out of the difficult.

As a church, we have not closed the door to you but want to give you the space you need to move forward. Again, our doors are open to you!

Blessings!
(Pastor's name)

PS. If you want to get together for coffee again, just let me know!

 

[shittim]

Sounds like an open door for communication, an answer to the desire of your heart for resolution.

 

[mlssufan01]

Sounds like an open door for communication, an answer to the desire of your heart for resolution.

oh, I should mention, I did take him up on that coffee since that email---this is when he said my feelings are not his responsibility, an that as a family they talked about it and it was very emotional; at this point he told me I may contact him only to ask a question; and I received more blocks after this--but still received some likes...so it certainly didn't feel like an open door for communication to me. Again only allowed to main service. Just many mixed messages to me.

 

[Absolutely]

oh, I should mention, I did take him up on that coffee since that email---this is when he said my feelings are not his responsibility, an that as a family they talked about it and it was very emotional; at this point he told me I may contact him only to ask a question; and I received more blocks after this--but still received some likes...so it certainly didn't feel like an open door for communication to me. Again only allowed to main service. Just many mixed messages to me.

Ok.

You are "here"

Your situation is "here"

Nobody can counsel you in a presentation of a vague story.

But there is a parallel counsel.
Get real real close to Jesus.
This bad event can be a springboard.
That is how you can turn this whole thing on a dime.
If you have quiet time. Let him wash you. Tell Jesus "wash me,cleanse me from this toxic garbage stalking me and polluting my entire being"

Then

"Fill me with your anointing. Bring me into joy and peace. Give me peace in this storm"

Know this. Now your walk will change. You will have faith. Faith activates in trial. Learn the springboard.
Here come a trial. Now ACTIVATE faith. Meet the trial. Face it and get to the root. Your faith is activated when you call on his name. But learn to call on him in faith.
Say his name with purpose and strength.
Watch him come on you.
Learn that this is a test. Learn that you win everytime.

How do you win everytime?

You win because he says so.
You never ever ever lose.
What happens is the opposite.
The trial comes and we get circumstantial.
We become a passive victim.

Ok. Tell yourself "wait a minute...I am not a victim"
So what do you do?
Get in the spirit and activate faith.

When you get real faith. This world can crumble around you and you can just look on in peace.

 

[Mii]

Yeah, as I mentioned, even as recent as January the pastors wife liked my posts, which led to me unfriending them. I didnt bother with the fb page cuz at the time it was irrelevant, but then with the CV the online streams started so, I guess matter of chance. That churchs fb page is the only link between us right now. Knowing it will be the last time I ever see anything from them might be the tough part about, idk.

Now is a great time to explore other churches, since physically there are some restrictions, find another stream?

I know some have old fashioned ideas that you need to be rooted in a particular local body and that may be true for some but not others.

So long as you are actively looking for people in each church that are solid and will edify and uplift you and keep in contact with them I see no reason not to move around a lot.

It's taken years to build of some trappings of a circle and these people come from many different churches. There are a lot of churches out there at present that know all the lingo and it may hearken to "having the form of godliness but denying the power thereof..." but I sincerely hope this is not/will not be the case for too much longer.

It's like some of these people know all of the right surface level words to say but it feels curiously empty. I've pushed at some of these people before and occasionally I find that they do know their stuff and there some solidity there...it just takes some investigation. Rarely though this is the case, whenever I have a deeper discussion with a pastor whom I just met or what have you, it's almost like he's on guard and we are in a sparring match...

which is fine really, if we sharpen each other then we know each other by that...if not, I move on and my discernment has been exercised and strengthened hopefully.



Get involved in local ministry, selective fellowship, personal devotion/prayer, and be judicious about your local body. There's nothing wrong with going through a transition period and with some distance and time you may find that you might reconnect with some of the ones you are distancing from and find they have matured past things and become real brothers/sisters.

It just hit me (and it does at unexpected moments) but the "cloud of witnesses" we are surrounded by is felt when we are in great need and just all the brothers/sisters I've met both hold me accountable (in memory) and encourage me...and the fact that I know there's WAY more of them