advice needed from men and women

[tim421]

From my experience -- I can see why God tells us not to be unequally yolked -- now am raising children with a non believer-- I had that hope of having God show himself through me. Yes -- there are great stories of people who have become saved -- my father is one. I really do not think God needs our help -- I've tried twice -- its God's way now.

good thats the way to think. its him in the drivers seat. well i have been in ur shoes. and as u have aready been told be the light in your house and keep fighting the good fight. actions speek louder then words and he may or may not come but ur kids are importent. God used my lil girl to speek to me and that was the day i truly took up my cross

 

[livingbygrace]

Why do you still want to hold on? Why do any of us want to hold on to that which can keep us from closeness to Jesus? Yes you made a mistake, as we all do. In our Christian lives there are temptations and trials, and sometimes we all fall to the things of the world. But that is not here the important issue now I would suggest. The pull of things that take us away from God are noithing new. I myself got into a disasterous relationship whren OI was a couple of years older than you. Things that start off casually if allowed to nurture can have a vice like grip on us.
As this man is not a Christian you do need to stand strongly in the Lord and resist a friendship with him. Our lives come to the point where we have to decide will we live for God, or for our natural longings and desires. Speaking for myself, if I could only go back thirty years and not have got into that wrong relationship I would so longingly do so. It caused such misery in my life. You have the oppurtunity now to break this. I sincerely hope for your future happiness you do.
It is not easy to turn our backs on our natural desires, the answer I believe is ion Christ. I hope you will not condemn yourself too harshly for getting into this, we all make mistakes. God can use this wonderfully if you do submit to him. You will be able to sympathise and encourage in the future other imperfect souls who make the same mistakes. Some of the most blessed and used Christians have made the most tragic of mistakes in their lives
I pray that you put God first, it is not an easy thing to do, but it is certainly the only true and real happiness you will ever have. Take it from someone who acted foolishly in youth and paid the price.
God Bless You.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, I made a huge mistake a few months back and hooked up with a guy I hardly knew at all, I know better than to do things like that but i did any way. I'm a Christian and a Youth leader in my church. Heres my problem I hooked up with him and thought it was a one night kind of thing. He in the military so i haven't seen him since but we talk and we had an understanding that it was no strings attached now he's talking about relationships and marrage and stuff like that. I don't even want to like him he is nothing like what i want in a guy he isn't even a Christian yet I'm very much attracted to him. Why I don't understand any of it why does he want a relationship, why is he still holding on? Why am I?

First of all, i am going to put all judgement aside for now...

Here's what I see:

1) He is attracted to you and wants a relationship
2) You are attracted to him but dont want a relationship with a non-christian man

I personally believe Corithians 6:14 is a warning to prevent christians from being influenced by spouses of other religions or non-believers. Notice the word UNEQUALLY.[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:.."

I think that if you feel your faith is strong and you feel you won't be influenced by his unbelief then maybe you should give him a chance.
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[QuestionTime]

Never Ending, I would probbaly say to you as I would my son who made the same mistake. The Father's Love doesn't stop because you made a bad choice, it does however seperate us when we sin.

I have to disagree with this comment. We are no longer under the Law the Bible says, therefore what is sin? If you are no longer under the law of sin and death, what sin are you guilty of?

It's time to get away from believing that we can do anything to bring ourselves closer to God or further away from Him. God finally brought me to this realization a few days ago, after living for 17 years as a miserable defeated "Christian" trying to keep God's law. The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus automatically takes over once we leave the law of sin and death. Then faith takes hold and we trust in Jesus in increasing measure, and that living faith in Him will change us. This is my experience so far and this experience has been echoed by many thousands over the years.

The reality is that our closeness to God can never be altered by our actions, because Christ died for us while we were still sinners, not while we attempted to reform ourselves.

Quest

 

[pinkie]

only God is allowed to judge us.

this person is seeking advice.....not criticism.

if we were God and perfect like only HE is then we may be able to discipline someone else.
please be kind. Even Pastors look at porn and sin and im sure even the pope isnt perfect. so please refrain from being judgemental. i am telling you this as a sister in Christ because we are all the children of God and here to help one another in our suffereing. kind regards.

Still, although he isn't a Christian. You will both be very emotionally attached to one another. Having sex together will always give away a part of you to him, and that is why God is so strict with it that we should wait till after we get married. It isn't just something you do for fun, though nowadays many people can see it like that. It is a serious bond making between you and the one you experience it with. One can sure make mistakes, but still it seems like you just thought it was fine to be doing this one time with him? Being a Youth Leader I thought you knew better then?

 

[Kuroko]

Hi Never-Ending ^_^
There's a lot of courage in you and I'm glad that courage lead you to posting here.
I think what he is experiencing is a bit of army fever, and I call it that even though it's similar to any circumstance where you may be taken away from your day to day life. He has probably spent some time thinking about how his life was and it's common to think of the different ways it could go.

It's flattering that he is thinking of you but what he's doing the most is thinking about things that are different than the army.
There is nothing to say that he isn't genuine about what he would like but the obvious advice is to make sure he has time to get to know you first, he might find over time some personal things which he himself can't overcome though obviously you've made a good impression on him already ^_^

I think the real question is what would you like?
There are a few sides to this and one of them is the christian side asking what the right thing to do is and I think again that speaks a good volume about how much the lord means to you. The religious side and the personal side (and the social side etc.) will always wrestle with each other as to what each one wants but for advice to the personal side (the part that is still attracted to him) I suggest putting some breaks on him and let him know marriage is a serious thing to you and it means a lot personally. The reason why I suggest this is so that you can give him time to re-adjust himself after the military life should the two of you decide to continue with a relationship, give him time to re-adjust that dream of his as well (which is where getting to know you and you getting to know him come into it).

You also asked why you yourself are attracted to him and that's probably the hardest personal question to ask but the easiest one to get confused with the answer, the time you spent together I'm betting you felt loved and that beyond all else is a wonderful thing. It's not a sin to enjoy love, loving or being loved yourself. But be careful because to truly love some one is to know them and to love everything about them, a child can love a toy 100% before they actually have it and play with it but it was not the toy they loved 100% it was the idea and thought of playing with it (I bet that just explained a lot to people with children or even explained our own childhood a bunch ).

For the religious side I would let every one elses posts be the final word but I want to explain one thing, beyond all else god is love and Jesus told us to do just one thing and that was to love as he did, it was a moment where you didn't love the other person above yourself because as you said you didn't do it with the intentions of it lasting.

No one should love you less or judge you in the least for doing it but you have to understand why it was wrong in order for you to understand what you are asking to be forgiven for, if you don't decide to pursue a relationship with him that is entirely the thing you will be asking him to forgive you for ^_^

Be warm with love and always consider others
<3
Rob