Hello, folks...
With the recent talk here in the singles' forum about whether or not we are in love and what we should do about it... I was wanting to hear everyone's stories about how they can look back at situations in their lives now and realize they weren't really "crazy in love"... but... just kind of caught up in the moment or operating out of a fear of not wanting to be alone.
I was thinking about the fact today that in my own life, I made the awful choice to spend pretty much all of my time from ages 17-29 in three and a half really, really bad relationships. (I say "one half" because it was a 6-month long-distance dating situation in which the guy refused to commit... the other situations were long-term deals that literally sucked away years of my life.)
They always say that hindsight is 20/20...
Looking back now, I know I wasn't "crazy in love", I was downright crazy. How do I know? I put up with things such as:
1. Spending more time, money, and effort raising a man's kids than he was.
2. Finding his booze bottles hidden all over his mother's house (where they lived) and around mine after they came over (even years after we broke up, I still found them hidden under my shed, buried in my yard in various places, etc.)
3. Having the mothers of these significant others try to control my life, manipulate my actions, and/or state that I was "evil" (well ok, maybe I can admit to this being partially right at times
).
4. Facing situations that compromised my values, morals, health, and safety.
I wasn't just "garden-variety" crazy to put up with all that, I was "nuts-dropped-off-the-tree-a-long-time-ago, total-greenhouse-effect, can't-save-the-rainforest" crazy!!!
But, I tell God... if sharing my experiences will help anyone else avoid the awful mistakes I made and maybe even encourage them to stay strong and avoid or leave a bad situation, I'll be thankful it wasn't all in vain.
How about all of you?
What are your examples of things you did, said, put up with, etc. that you can now see were NOT because of "love", even though you may have believed that at the time?
With the recent talk here in the singles' forum about whether or not we are in love and what we should do about it... I was wanting to hear everyone's stories about how they can look back at situations in their lives now and realize they weren't really "crazy in love"... but... just kind of caught up in the moment or operating out of a fear of not wanting to be alone.
I was thinking about the fact today that in my own life, I made the awful choice to spend pretty much all of my time from ages 17-29 in three and a half really, really bad relationships. (I say "one half" because it was a 6-month long-distance dating situation in which the guy refused to commit... the other situations were long-term deals that literally sucked away years of my life.)
They always say that hindsight is 20/20...
Looking back now, I know I wasn't "crazy in love", I was downright crazy. How do I know? I put up with things such as:
1. Spending more time, money, and effort raising a man's kids than he was.
2. Finding his booze bottles hidden all over his mother's house (where they lived) and around mine after they came over (even years after we broke up, I still found them hidden under my shed, buried in my yard in various places, etc.)
3. Having the mothers of these significant others try to control my life, manipulate my actions, and/or state that I was "evil" (well ok, maybe I can admit to this being partially right at times
). 4. Facing situations that compromised my values, morals, health, and safety.
I wasn't just "garden-variety" crazy to put up with all that, I was "nuts-dropped-off-the-tree-a-long-time-ago, total-greenhouse-effect, can't-save-the-rainforest" crazy!!!
But, I tell God... if sharing my experiences will help anyone else avoid the awful mistakes I made and maybe even encourage them to stay strong and avoid or leave a bad situation, I'll be thankful it wasn't all in vain.
How about all of you?
What are your examples of things you did, said, put up with, etc. that you can now see were NOT because of "love", even though you may have believed that at the time?
