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dashadow
Guest
That you care enough to examine how you can improve your relationship with your children says a great deal. If your kids are anything like mine, like most actually, they may not verbalize their appreciation for your efforts. But it will leave an impression nonetheless. You're planting the seeds of Love and Faith. God will see them to fruition.
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HEstolemyheart
Guest
Although my husband and I are still married, and our two kids (boy, 3yr, girl, 6mo) are still very young, he recently confessed his worries and stress of how he was feeling about raising our children. He has a lot of the same fears you do, it seems. He had a very chaotic and confusing upbringing that left him more than unsure of how to have a stable relationship let alone raising children.
I will give you the same advice I gave him...
Spend less time worrying and more time doing. In the end, your children won't remember the nights you stayed up late worrying about things, what they remember is the things you did WITH THEM... the summers at the beach, the ball games played, tea parties and fort conquering, dances and dresses, and so forth.
Every minute you spend worrying is a minute that could be spent praying or playing for them or with them.
They are only young for a while....
I will give you the same advice I gave him...
Spend less time worrying and more time doing. In the end, your children won't remember the nights you stayed up late worrying about things, what they remember is the things you did WITH THEM... the summers at the beach, the ball games played, tea parties and fort conquering, dances and dresses, and so forth.
Every minute you spend worrying is a minute that could be spent praying or playing for them or with them.
They are only young for a while....
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zaoman32
Guest
That's a very good point, thank you. One thing that's helpful to (if I remind myself) is remembering that I pray for them everyday, and God can take better care of them than I can. If I put them in His hands why worry, you know? I also just need to remind myself that I'm not always going to be the good guy with them, and that they're going to grow up.
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HEstolemyheart
Guest
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iTOREtheSKY
Guest
Zao...you know I was married & don't have kids,but I can say this much from what I have seen of you on the threads I truly believe you are a man after God's own heart & he will guide you as being a witness to your kids. I think your are probabaly doing a better job than a lot of men in your position (christian or secular) I will keep you & your kid's in my thoughts & prayers. May God show you how best to exemplify the love & words of Jesus to your children. I truly believe that ADD OCD Autism,whatever the case is,Your kids can come to know Jesus in a true & lasting way. Trust in him & don't let satan keep trying to discourage you about all this...he's full of crappola! May God continue to fill & strengthen you, dude!!!!
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Powemm
Guest
The very fact your concerned about it and bringing that concern before others ,
Speaks volumes....
Speaks volumes....
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zaoman32
Guest
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sunnygurl
Guest
itorethesky...... well spoken, I agree 100% 
Powemm....... exactly
Parenting is hard work with the best heartfelt rewards one could ever be paid. "PRICELESS"
On a lighter side of that heres a joke ......
.... If parenting was easy it would never start with something called 'Labour'
Zaoman I believe all parents carry a certain amount of guilt in parenting. We are human, we are flawed, we make mistakes just us our parents and their parents and their parents ....... your getting the drift
- Each and every parent has made mistakes, (imagine how Mary and Joesph felt being responsible for Jesus)
however the focus needs to be on ALL the things we Do right in our parenting
Cause at the end of the day mistakes are part of learning through every stage of life!
I reckon if all we do in parenting is done in love, with faith in God's guidance along with humble prayers then we can have peace in our ability because we are learning from the heart of the loving Father and hey God trusted us enough to give us these precious children to guide into adulthood so if He reckons we can do it then I reckon we need to take faith in that
If you have the pleasure of raising daugthers (Just a little inside information from the land of women, I am a true believer that it's a key in self respect for girls)
- love them and treat them with a standard that you expect of their future husband so they will never be tempted to comprise themselves for anything other than God's best.
-Also never give her everything she wants - dont spoil her, give her everything she needs instead. (Needs according to the word of God)
Your children are at such precious ages take lots of photos and "selfies together", build heaps of happy memories, make playhuts, play in puddles, explore together, read together, talk together, laugh together, share together etc, etc,......... children grow way too fast, so enjoy every moment you ALL get to share together <3
Thier are some beautifully written bibles and books for children. My beautiful mother in law gave my boys a book called bedtime blessings which was an excellent resource along with the Bible. At the end of the day how we live our life in the presence of our children is our greatest testimonial to who God is them.
Have faith Zaoman yes as parents we mess things up sometimes, other times we are brilliant and even stun ourselves.
We need to have the same grace in our parenting as God has in our salvation.
Finally I close with the wise words of Winnie-the-Pool - "your smarter than you think, braver than you know and stronger then you believe"
Prayers going out to all parents, with an extra special prayer for those parenting solo
Powemm....... exactly
Parenting is hard work with the best heartfelt rewards one could ever be paid. "PRICELESS"
On a lighter side of that heres a joke ......
.... If parenting was easy it would never start with something called 'Labour'
Zaoman I believe all parents carry a certain amount of guilt in parenting. We are human, we are flawed, we make mistakes just us our parents and their parents and their parents ....... your getting the drift
- Each and every parent has made mistakes, (imagine how Mary and Joesph felt being responsible for Jesus)
however the focus needs to be on ALL the things we Do right in our parenting
Cause at the end of the day mistakes are part of learning through every stage of life!
I reckon if all we do in parenting is done in love, with faith in God's guidance along with humble prayers then we can have peace in our ability because we are learning from the heart of the loving Father and hey God trusted us enough to give us these precious children to guide into adulthood so if He reckons we can do it then I reckon we need to take faith in that
If you have the pleasure of raising daugthers (Just a little inside information from the land of women, I am a true believer that it's a key in self respect for girls)
- love them and treat them with a standard that you expect of their future husband so they will never be tempted to comprise themselves for anything other than God's best.
-Also never give her everything she wants - dont spoil her, give her everything she needs instead. (Needs according to the word of God)
Your children are at such precious ages take lots of photos and "selfies together", build heaps of happy memories, make playhuts, play in puddles, explore together, read together, talk together, laugh together, share together etc, etc,......... children grow way too fast, so enjoy every moment you ALL get to share together <3
Thier are some beautifully written bibles and books for children. My beautiful mother in law gave my boys a book called bedtime blessings which was an excellent resource along with the Bible. At the end of the day how we live our life in the presence of our children is our greatest testimonial to who God is them.
Have faith Zaoman yes as parents we mess things up sometimes, other times we are brilliant and even stun ourselves.
We need to have the same grace in our parenting as God has in our salvation.
Finally I close with the wise words of Winnie-the-Pool - "your smarter than you think, braver than you know and stronger then you believe"
Prayers going out to all parents, with an extra special prayer for those parenting solo
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sunnygurl
Guest
Kids are resilient.
So true MissCris more than we ever believed when they were first placed in our arms.
God knew what He was doing designing them that way
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Lavenda
Guest
Being a parent is a big role. I have full control over how my children are affected. Knowing God is the one watching me keeps me relying on Him. If I let my heart get full of sin again, I see the damage I can bring on my children. I raise mine full time and it makes me realize how grateful I am. I don't feel equipt, but God is preparing me. that's the journey u are on too.
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Gantrn
Guest
i am in the same situation, not divorced but concerned about past actions; however i lean on teach a child the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. Proverbs.
moat important Don't beat youeself up as i have trust in the Lord.
God Bless. Praying for you and yours!
moat important Don't beat youeself up as i have trust in the Lord.
God Bless. Praying for you and yours!
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SeekingJC
Guest
Hey Brother.
i have 3 kids 7, 4 and 2. I'm also a child of divorced parents when I was 5. I know your hurting and I'm sorry man. The advice I give you from the kids perspective is this: you may have limited time with them but they will remember every moment of it believe me I did. My dad always felt guilty and tried to make up for it with things, toys trips etc but my best memories with him as a child were doing the simple things. Washing the car, going to the beach, etc.
I guess my point is as long as your there for them you're "doing" what u need to. Every good parent worries that they're gonna mess up and we do from time to time no ones perfect. I think I mess up on a daily basis but my kids love me and that says all to me.
from the little I think I know about you, your kids are very blessed to have you as their father. God bless you and your family you're in my prayers brother.
Oh btw my son love the action bible. It's like the bible in comic book super hero format.
i have 3 kids 7, 4 and 2. I'm also a child of divorced parents when I was 5. I know your hurting and I'm sorry man. The advice I give you from the kids perspective is this: you may have limited time with them but they will remember every moment of it believe me I did. My dad always felt guilty and tried to make up for it with things, toys trips etc but my best memories with him as a child were doing the simple things. Washing the car, going to the beach, etc.
I guess my point is as long as your there for them you're "doing" what u need to. Every good parent worries that they're gonna mess up and we do from time to time no ones perfect. I think I mess up on a daily basis but my kids love me and that says all to me.
from the little I think I know about you, your kids are very blessed to have you as their father. God bless you and your family you're in my prayers brother.
Oh btw my son love the action bible
. It's like the bible in comic book super hero format.
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zaoman32
Guest
Wow, I thought this thread was dead already, but apparently not. Thanks for all the wisdom and encouragement.
I am not married and I have no kids but I have been leading the 0-5 kids service for 4 years. They absorb a lot but I find that getting them involved in the story really helps. This month we are talking about Daniel and yonight we did the story about the king whose name I can't spell's dream. it is a fairly long and complex story for a younger group but by asking them questions and making up actions they did learn it. games help too, I made up pictures for jesus walking on water and once I told them the story asked them to put the pictures in order.
anyhow, if need any ideas I have a massive amount of those lol.
anyhow, if need any ideas I have a massive amount of those lol.
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SeatBelt
Guest
As you know, Z-man, Our situations are somewhat different.
For those that don't know, I'm in the "still pending" phase of a divorce that's gone on for over a year now. She left me. And the Kids. And the church elders agree that it is best to let her go. It's messier than that, much messier. I'd rather spare you the details.
Point Is: I Feel Much The Same I feel the burden of being Both parents to my kids, and despite doing my best, praying my best, following God my best, and Striving Daily to make my best something better than what it was yesterday... Despite all that I do, all the opportunities I have to Directly influence my kids, I still struggle with the question of What can I do better?" The Question, "How can I improve the long term outcome for my children?" The dark cloud of, "In 10-20 years, how will they feel about me because of the choices I am making right now?"
I find that Some of that is a healthy part of being a parent.
I find that some of that is a burden that I take on unnecessarily that I must set down at Christ's feet and walk away from.
Same, but different.
In the end, Not Alone.
Glad you care enough to worry about your kids.
Wonder if my "ex" will bother to see the kids at Mother's Day.
Wonder which would mess them up more, her seeing or not seeing the kids.