are you up for a challenge?

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Liz01 said:
Im not sure if i didnt understand de meaning of your post, but after reading it i concluded that i dont like to be challenged. I dont like when someone put their goals on my life, i like to put myself challenges and acomplish them.

But i would like very much to be encouraged by my future husband to acomplish my goals. :)
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I think a lot of people have misunderstood, Liz. They think I am saying that we should push our goals onto other people or that guys should push theirs on us. I'm not saying that at all. :) I have no idea why this seems so difficult to understand...*scratching my head*
 
Hmm...maybe the others are right...

Guys, just scrap everything I've said in this thread.

If you ever find yourself dying while your wife is working fulltime to support the family and provide medical insurance coverage, raising your son almost by herself because you are too weak, taking care of the house by herself, running a farm with a little bit of help from your son, and driving you to the hospital for treatments 3 nights a week/4 hrs per night, don't ever tell her how much you love and appreciate her, or rub her feet until she falls asleep, or tell her how strong she is, or let her know that you can go to be with the Lord without fear because you trust her to raise your son in a godly way and in a godly home.

And if you ever date a widow, don't ever encourage her to go back to school so that she can support herself/her child and make the career change that means so much to a little boy who just lost his dad and is afraid of losing her too. And don't ever tell her that she is an amazingly talented dancer who should be teaching children to appreciate music and other things of beauty.

It's far easier to just ignore her and let her try and figure this stuff out on her own. I mean, hey, after all, if you give her any sort of encouragement whatsoever, you might have a fabulous marriage or she might just fall in love with you and remember how amazing you are for the rest of her life. That would be horrible, huh?

Thanks for clearing that up for me. :) What was I thinking???
 
"Encourage" = literally, to give somebody courage. Always an awesome thing. <3
 
Quick question for a confused reader--- is barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen as an aspiration an unattractive trait in a woman? I've understood feminists who aspired to do other things reject the above just because its what women were forced to do for so long. But I always figured that a lot of guys would be just fine to go the traditional rout.

I guess I'm asking because *if* I get married I intend to be a stay-at-home mother. Four kids at the minimum and they are going to be homeschooled as I was. I did also intend to paint, draw, and write on the side. Be involved at church(my favorite place in the world since I was a kid) and bake and bake and bake. I've never considered this dream to be too little and am a little put off that someone else would think so.
 
Jullianna: We'll all do our best to love, support, encourage, and help in any way we can. I don't hint anyone was arguing that point. We're just speaking different languages when focusing in the word 'challenge'.

Smudge: Many guys would give p a limb to have a traditional girl, and others wouldn't. No worries. More or less, there's always more than someone for anyone.
 
Jullianna said:
People complain so often about boring relationships. They complain about dating seemingly shallow people. Are you challenging the person you are with (in an ENCOURAGING sort of way, not a complaining or controlling kinda way)? Are they challenging you in some way?

I so often hear guys complain about women wanting the picket fence, kids, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with that (for some folks it's enough), but I think that many guys don't seem to realize that this is the stereotype women grow up with. This is what they are programmed to be so often. Not all women have someone around to encourage them and show them that there are other options and opportunities.

I have to say that when a guy challenges me to be a better person, it takes my respect for him to the max.

Challenging and encouraging one another to learn and grow is an amazing gift that is so vital in a relationship. And it's never too late to start.

Just something to think about...
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Great thread! I think challenging ourselves and others is a MUST of a Christian life.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessaloanians 5:11

I sometimes feel challenged by God to do something out of my comfort zone, and I feel we should encourage others to do the same. Of course the challenge is different for everyone, what it's a challenge for my sister or brother may not seem like a challenge to me, and what it feels like a challenge to me may not be a challenge for her, but that's the beauty of team work :). We can use our strenghts and weaknesses for good, and make a piece of art for God with them.

The journey of a Christian life is full of adventure, even if that doesn't mean going out to the jungle to preach the gospel. You can have an adventure by being a full time wife/mom, a student, an employee at starbucks, it doesn't matter. Adventure involves some risk right? Changing a habit, starting a new one, learning something new, helping others are risks...you are gettin out of your bubble to get into a new world. My goal is to be so used to get out of my bubble that everytime God calls me out of it I don't feel so strange in the outside world, just like babies feel when they are born and they are scared of their new surrounding. I'd love a friend or, if God wills, a husband that will encourage me to be Bubble-free :)
 
Smudge said:
Quick question for a confused reader--- is barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen as an aspiration an unattractive trait in a woman? I've understood feminists who aspired to do other things reject the above just because its what women were forced to do for so long. But I always figured that a lot of guys would be just fine to go the traditional rout.

I guess I'm asking because *if* I get married I intend to be a stay-at-home mother. Four kids at the minimum and they are going to be homeschooled as I was. I did also intend to paint, draw, and write on the side. Be involved at church(my favorite place in the world since I was a kid) and bake and bake and bake. I've never considered this dream to be too little and am a little put off that someone else would think so.
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Smudge, while your question is off topic, it is a great question. :)

If that is your dream and a "feminist" belittles you or gives you a tough time for wanting that, then they would be guilty of trying to hold you back in the same way as they complain men have done to them, wouldn't they?

If that is God's plan for your life and you find a guy who is able to find a job to support a large family that allows you to stay at home and care for your family and participate in activities you love, and you are able to prepare for every possible contingency, I think that would be awesome! :) Unfortunately, that doesn't happen for everyone. Life happens.

I have a friend who had that dream, who has loved and served the Lord all of her life. She was a stay at home mom with five children. She had never worked and had no education beyond high school. Her husband died. Her family struggled greatly while she worked her way through nursing school, and was finally able to dig her way back out by the grace of God.

It's not always about the dream. It's about living out God's will for your life through whatever life flings at you.
 
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By the way, that nurse friend (now retired) is the near-90 year old Sunday School teacher/mentor I was talking about earlier in this thread. I hope the Lord will use me and allow me to be half the blessing she has been to others in my lifetime. :)



Women know this concept is difficult for guys to understand. That&#8217;s why it seemed worth a shot.

A wise old attorney told me this a few years ago: &#8220;If you explain a thing twice and someone says they don&#8217;t still understand, they probably do, but just don&#8217;t like it, especially if it requires more from them than mere conjecture.&#8221; :)
 
I guess what threw me off was when I saw someone saying that guys thought the white picket fence dream was boring- I believe that was part of the opening for this thread.

Your friend is in her nineties and it wasn't uncommon for both men and women not to get an education and still succeed. Neither of my grandparents went to college and were able to raise four children who did go to school. But another factor in that is economics..

So if I understand what you were trying to say all along, you were saying that people shouldn't sit on their hands and expect everything to pull through. That they should, as the saying goes, Prepare for the Worst and Hope for the Best

If thats what you've been trying to say then I whole heartedly agree with you. People should think things through.


Although- part of my dreaming is that in ten years the economy will have improved. Maybe, maybe not... we will have to see.
 
Yes, some guys do think that's boring; but, as Asif and Zero said, some guys want that. :) We're all different and have different dreams/goals. Some women don't even want to get married at all. I didn't until I met someone and fell in love. :) And I'm most def NOT a feminist. :)

Yes, it's true that there was a time when neither men nor women needed an education to seek a level of employment that would sustain a large family. Jobs are harder to come by these days and anything that gives us an edge is a plus. If they raise the retirement age to 70 (as is being discussed), it will most likely become even more difficult to find a job.

Yes, absolutely. Discuss with your spouse/fiance everything thoroughly and plan for as many eventualities as possible. Kind of like the financial advice Zero gave the 22 year old young man recently who just graduated from college. We all have dreams. We all have plans. Curve balls come. Plans change. Dreams are delayed or altered. We go on living until we die. We adapt. We trust God. We do what we have to.

More to the point of this thread, it's incredible when you have someone in your life to cheer you on/make suggests/give you direction and challenge you to stay in the race, not just throw your hands up, fall into depression and keep going around the same whiney mountains time and time again.

You seem like a very bright lady. I pray your dream comes true and that you and your family enjoy a blessed life in Christ. :)
 
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