It's funny how you can have a feeling of getting closer to the Lord only to fall off minutes after that sentiment. It not exactly funny; it is disheartening. Though I believe in it, the doctrine of perseverance of those who believe is a faulty confidence. How can one know if one is truly saved in the first place? Did not the man who said "Lord, Lord" also have a great assurance of his faulty salvation? You may say "well, I have examined myself and bear witness to the fruit of the Spirit." O, didn't the man who was cast into perdition also claim a life of great works? You may not like the use of the term "works" but in essence that is what you're basing your examination upon. I'm convinced then that our assurance can not be based on feeling of our own but in the work of Christ. Faith in that work alone, or should I say, a hope in what it accomplished. This is true in that although our works (or lack thereof) are telling indicators of our spiritual state, I can say from the "many" who say "lord" who don't know the Father, this method is prone to misinterpretation being liable to biased and an subjective sense of what constitutes as spirituality.