attraction

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angel1243

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i have been looking at some prospective husbands. however, i have been rejecting them as i do not find them attractive. is that a sin?
 
It is not a sin that I can find scripture to support, but you might be missing out on some great guys if you are discounting them on looks alone.
 
angel1243 said:
i have been looking at some prospective husbands. however, i have been rejecting them as i do not find them attractive. is that a sin?
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My thoughts on the subject...

Sin by definition is acting against love. In the case of attraction, I think it would be much harder to have a marriage relationship with someone that you weren't attracted to on some level. I know that I've been attracted to a girls humour, her loving/caring spirit, her looks, and her intelligence. Many of those were with different girls; it didn't take long to realize that I was attracted to them. Just on a psychological level, it would be very difficult, and stressful, to maintain a close relationship.

As christians, though, we get a great help in this, however. God is perfect love, and knows/understands each of us and the complexities of the world perfectly. He knows, though we might not yet, whether the loving thing to do is to love the person or to let the person go. Truly, holding onto someone gorgeous if it's not God's will is just as much sin as discarding an Ugly man when it is God's will that you marry him.

In the end, as hard as it may seem, seek God's will on the matter. He loves you, and without His love in your marriage, I would believe that you would struggle no matter what level of attraction was present.

God bless.
 
angel1243 said:
i have been looking at some prospective husbands. however, i have been rejecting them as i do not find them attractive. is that a sin?
Click to expand...
I don't think it's a sin. However, this could cause you to miss out on a great man. It is possible that once you get to know someone their inner beauty shines so greatly that you will accept and even grow to love however it is they look. They could end up looking beautiful to you inside and out.
 
I think all of us have similar thought and at some point in our lives, have been rejected or chosen to reject someone based on physical attraction (or lack thereof.)

One thing I always wonder about though... The Bible says we will reap what we sow. Does that mean if we reject others for superficial reasons, are we setting ourselves up to be rejected? Of course, we can't just accept anyone as a husband/wife and we were made to have our own personal tastes... But i also wonder what we are sowing spiritually when we think someone just isn't attractive enough for us.
 
Kim, I'm glad you brought that up. I was thinking when I read this...wow...who are we to discount someone as being unattractive? I'm sure that there are people out there who find us unattractive as well. :)
 
Jullianna said:
Kim, I'm glad you brought that up. I was thinking when I read this...wow...who are we to discount someone as being unattractive? I'm sure that there are people out there who find us unattractive as well. :)
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But Juli, would it be better if everyone found everyone else attractive? :P

What a mess that would be!
 
I have your solution

It would just be better if everyone else found meee attractive:D

Problem solved
 
I don't get to be the judge of who is attractive. I have been crushing on every woman I interact with lately seems like haha
 
angel1243 said:
i have been looking at some prospective husbands. however, i have been rejecting them as i do not find them attractive. is that a sin?
Click to expand...

The problem, as i see it, is making it sound like you're shopping for a man. As if finding a husband is a matter of sifting through the racks til you find one that suits you. I always find it a sad attitude when Christians adopt such a mentality about marriage. Finding a spouse isn't about having some checklist and digging though all the options to find the one you think will make you happy. If i were you i'd spend more time learning what being a good wife is, and making sure that you are going to be a good wife with a good understanding of what your role is, and what marriage is all about, and less time treating men like they're there for you to peruse through to find the one you want.
 
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