Being on the outs with family

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Noel139

Noel139

Senior Member
Jul 1, 2013
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I know I'm not the only one who suffers from this. It just breaks my heart and the pain is hurting my relationship with GOD. I have this issue where, if I think about GOD I think about my family drama and not just think about it, obsess over it and I try to distract myself, but no matter what I do I always end up dwelling on it anyway. I am on the outs with my entire family, minus three: My mom and two of my brothers. My sister hates my Christianity and she is the one that I am having the hardest time with. She treats me like I'm a dog; like I can't have an opinion that differs from her's. Any opinion. Religion, music, TV, diet, etc.. Basically, I can't have a personality. I never did anything to her and she has always tried to replace me. Like I'm the bad guy. Even before I was a Christian, she didn't like me. Right now I am a month from moving away from her. The reason I am even where she is is because GOD told me that she needed help because she is a single mother with two babies. I helped anyway I could until she blew up on my mom and since I am with my mom (who is also a strong believer) I got lumped in with her. My problem is I can't leave without talking to her, but I can't talk to her because I'm afraid. To be honest, she scares me and I don't know why. She gets in my face when she's angry, but that doesn't really bother me and neither do her cruel words. Or... maybe they do and I am just afraid that it'll show. I don't know. I am so angry at her for treating me like dirt and it's because I love her that I can't just walk away without saying anything. I shouldn't have this hard of a time with confronting my own sister! GOD told us that she would be saved, but I just can't handle the hoping anymore. I break very easily even though I don't show it. I'm just not that kind of person likes to feel vulnerable outwardly. I feel weak when I cry and I always cry when I'm upset which means in talking to my sister I will probably end up crying and I don't want to do that. Especially not in front of her. Whenever I cry she makes me feel pathetic and stupid. I just don't know what to do. I know she has pent up pain that she is not dealing with, but that is no excuse for her behavior. Unforgiveness has to be dealt with. In myself as well.
 
I haven't faced that kind of rejection from my family of origin, but I have some idea of the pain from other circumstances. Jesus didn't promise the removal of pain, but strength to walk through it. You are not responsible for your sister's choices, and you are not required to remain close with her if she is continuing to cause you pain. Tell her the Gospel in simple, clear and concise language, and leave her be. Then pray for her. You will have done your duty with that. If and only if you sense the Lord telling you to continue relationship with her, then do so. Otherwise, she is treating you abusively, and there is no need to receive that.

I understand that you may not want to forsake the relationship, but the alternative is to continue being hurt. Truly, you are better off leaving her to her own decisions. You are not responsible for her, her children, or her lifestyle.

I'd strongly recommend that you take in some of the YouTube videos featuring Patrick Doyle of Veritas Counseling. His method would be helpful, I believe.

Otherwise, continue to seek the Lord for strength, peace, and direction.

Blessings,
Dino
 
Dino246 said:
I haven't faced that kind of rejection from my family of origin, but I have some idea of the pain from other circumstances. Jesus didn't promise the removal of pain, but strength to walk through it. You are not responsible for your sister's choices, and you are not required to remain close with her if she is continuing to cause you pain. Tell her the Gospel in simple, clear and concise language, and leave her be. Then pray for her. You will have done your duty with that. If and only if you sense the Lord telling you to continue relationship with her, then do so. Otherwise, she is treating you abusively, and there is no need to receive that.

I understand that you may not want to forsake the relationship, but the alternative is to continue being hurt. Truly, you are better off leaving her to her own decisions. You are not responsible for her, her children, or her lifestyle.

I'd strongly recommend that you take in some of the YouTube videos featuring Patrick Doyle of Veritas Counseling. His method would be helpful, I believe.

Otherwise, continue to seek the Lord for strength, peace, and direction.

Blessings,
Dino
Click to expand...

Do you have a specific video of his in mind?
 
Dino246 said:
I haven't faced that kind of rejection from my family of origin, but I have some idea of the pain from other circumstances. Jesus didn't promise the removal of pain, but strength to walk through it. You are not responsible for your sister's choices, and you are not required to remain close with her if she is continuing to cause you pain. Tell her the Gospel in simple, clear and concise language, and leave her be. Then pray for her. You will have done your duty with that. If and only if you sense the Lord telling you to continue relationship with her, then do so. Otherwise, she is treating you abusively, and there is no need to receive that.

I understand that you may not want to forsake the relationship, but the alternative is to continue being hurt. Truly, you are better off leaving her to her own decisions. You are not responsible for her, her children, or her lifestyle.

I'd strongly recommend that you take in some of the YouTube videos featuring Patrick Doyle of Veritas Counseling. His method would be helpful, I believe.

Otherwise, continue to seek the Lord for strength, peace, and direction.

Blessings,
Dino
Click to expand...

I was watching a video where he is talking about hard hearts and I agree fully with him. I actually came to the revelation that I am using the situation with my sister to mask the problems with my own heart. Maybe not knowingly, but I believe that is what I am doing. Maybe I am so afraid to confront my sister because I haven't even dealt with myself. I know I have things in my life that I have not dealt with and I have always known about them yet I always put everyone else's bad choices on my shoulders. It's so ridiculous really. I need GOD to help me and that's how I help myself.
 
Sounds like your sister is verbally abusive, to say the least. There's a line in helping someone when they are needing it, but then there's a time where one needs to back away when the person isn't appreciative and takes advantage of one's vulnerability and support. Going back to take more punches is giving them that pass and sometimes one does have to stand up and say that enough is enough. It's not equivalent to stop loving her as your sister.
 
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