Biblical Manhood

[JFSurvivor]

Hey this is JFSurvivor's BF. I wanted to get your perspectives on what it looks like to be a Biblical man.

I understand that the man is supposed to be the leader but the Bible doesn't give examples of what that looks like. Is a Biblical man supposed to be sensitive? Is marriage a heirarchy?

Hi JFSurvivor here. To answer my pookie's question men are supposed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. What does that look like though?

 

[Ugly]

To respect her and listen to her. To value her above all else except God. To be her teacher, but also willing to learn. Being a leader doesn't mean barking orders and listing demands. The best leaders lead by example.
And though you may have the authority it is not a dominance. Your wives needs and opinions should always take a high place in all decisions. Your authority is given by God to be a blessing to your wife and family, and God does not mean for the authority that HE gives to be wielded as a form of control but as an opportunity to be an example of Him.

 

[atwhatcost]

Hey this is JFSurvivor's BF. I wanted to get your perspectives on what it looks like to be a Biblical man.

I understand that the man is supposed to be the leader but the Bible doesn't give examples of what that looks like. Is a Biblical man supposed to be sensitive? Is marriage a heirarchy?

Hi JFSurvivor here. To answer my pookie's question men are supposed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. What does that look like though?

It looks like Noah and his wife.
It looks like Abraham and Sarah.
It looked like Lot and his wife.
It looks like Jacob, Leah, Hannah, Bilhah and Zilpah. (Thank God men no longer have to deal with more than one wife because that gets so messy. lol)
It looks like David, Michal, Bathsheba, Avital, Haggith, Maacah, Abigail (the one I liked), Eglah, and Ahinoam. (And you thought Jacob had problems. lol)
It looks like Joseph and Mary.

Mostly it looks like Christ and his church. (I so sympathize with the hubbies now. Anyone else noticing the wives, most of the time -- even the church -- were/are the ones who cause(d) trouble?)

For hubby and me, we're both after the same thing, which in itself causes problems. We're always after "What would make life easier for the other one?" You'd think that ought to work, but it doesn't. One time I came home and complained about my very-tough-day at work, so hubby told me to quit. I did. Boy! That was dumb. It was just one bad day at work, I really liked that job, it paid well, it was the kind of job I would have liked to have kept all my life, and, dumbest thing? To this day, I still don't know what I was so upset about. lol

Now, we're both disabled, and, if we lift anything that weighs too much, both of us pay for that later. Well, I don't want him to pay for it later, and he doesn't want me to pay for it later, so we both rush to lift the heavy things (usually related to grocery shopping) and BOTH pay more for it later.

It's complicated, doesn't always work out as planned, but as long as both sides truly listen, and truly try for 90% effort (because 100% all the time is unattainable, but we have a way to balance the scales in our favor, so 50/50 usually turns out to "I do 20% and you do 80%," so I figure if we go for 90%, then maybe we hit the real 50%.) But, as long as both sides listen and aim for God's will and consensus together, it works out most of the time. And, if consensus doesn't work, then hubby gets final vote. (Hubby loves wife, therefore makes that decision for both of their good.)

It won't ever look perfect in this body.

 

[JFSurvivor]

To respect her and listen to her. To value her above all else except God. To be her teacher, but also willing to learn. Being a leader doesn't mean barking orders and listing demands. The best leaders lead by example.
And though you may have the authority it is not a dominance. Your wives needs and opinions should always take a high place in all decisions. Your authority is given by God to be a blessing to your wife and family, and God does not mean for the authority that HE gives to be wielded as a form of control but as an opportunity to be an example of Him.

JF's BF here what do you mean by "teach"? Also in what sense is the husband supposed to lead?

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Hey this is JFSurvivor's BF. I wanted to get your perspectives on what it looks like to be a Biblical man.

Hey! Good to have you here.

I understand that the man is supposed to be the leader but the Bible doesn't give examples of what that looks like. Is a Biblical man supposed to be sensitive? Is marriage a heirarchy?

The examples are there, even if they're sometimes subtle.

Sensitive? You could say that, but that depends on context. I think kind, compassionate and forgiving would be better adjectives. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 outlines love, and any Biblical man should take upon those qualities especially.

The whole hierarchy thing is debated a lot. I don't have a cut and dry answer for this one other than "different strokes for different folks." Be respectful of one another, at the very least.

Hi JFSurvivor here. To answer my pookie's question men are supposed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. What does that look like though?

Pookie...

What do you think/feel Christ's love looked like during his time on Earth?

 

[Ugly]

Teach her spiritually. Lead reading the bible together etc...

Far at as leadership goes it varies from couple to couple to some degree. But overall it's being able to make decisions, following the direction God sends you in as a family, being the strength. Basically it's your job to do your best to go in the direction God sends you. Even if He tells you through your wife it's your job to take the reins and progress things in that direction.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

The Bible's in the shirt pocket.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Hey! Good to have you here.


The examples are there, even if they're sometimes subtle.

Sensitive? You could say that, but that depends on context. I think kind, compassionate and forgiving would be better adjectives. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 outlines love, and any Biblical man should take upon those qualities especially.

The whole hierarchy thing is debated a lot. I don't have a cut and dry answer for this one other than "different strokes for different folks." Be respectful of one another, at the very least.


Pookie...

What do you think/feel Christ's love looked like during his time on Earth?

Bf here his love was unconditional. He never gave up on people. When he corrected people he did it in a very sensitive manner.

JF here: couldn't you also argue that Christ was submissive by laying his life down?

 

[JFSurvivor]

Teach her spiritually. Lead reading the bible together etc...

Far at as leadership goes it varies from couple to couple to some degree. But overall it's being able to make decisions, following the direction God sends you in as a family, being the strength. Basically it's your job to do your best to go in the direction God sends you. Even if He tells you through your wife it's your job to take the reins and progress things in that direction.

JF's BF here: Does that imply that the woman NEEDS spiritual guidance from the man?

 

[Viligant_Warrior]

Hey this is JFSurvivor's BF. I wanted to get your perspectives on what it looks like to be a Biblical man.

I understand that the man is supposed to be the leader but the Bible doesn't give examples of what that looks like. Is a Biblical man supposed to be sensitive? Is marriage a heirarchy?

Hi JFSurvivor here. To answer my pookie's question men are supposed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. What does that look like though?

Hey, JFS/BF!

There have been some good answer on here, and I'd like to give you a few from the perspective of an addictions/marriage & family counselor who has seen enough bad examples to build a short list of what a good example looks like. Before a man can love his wife as Christ loves the church, he has some personal housekeeping to tend to.

1. A man controls his emotions and passions. Single or married, a real man tames his passions. He doesn’t in any way abuse women or children -- particularly emotionally, which is where most abuse happens, and which type is the hardest to recognize and the least reported. A real man protects those around him, and that means family, friends, and strangers alike. He keeps his hands off a woman who is not his wife. He treats his wife with love, respect and dignity. He keeps his eyes off pornographic images. He protects a single woman’s virginity and innocence. He’s not defined by his exploits below the waist. He’s a man with a loving heart, a reasonable head, and a clear conscience.
2. A man provides for his family. "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). These are strident words. When a man doesn’t work and provide for his family, he feels a sense of shame. His self-worth plummets, and though you will hear some say self-worth should be inconsequential to a Christian, it is realistically vital, as a man cannot see himself as salvageable if he does not think well of himself. A man who doesn’t work, who can’t keep a job, who moves from job to job, or who refuses to assume his responsibility creates insecurity in his wife and children. Every man needs to provide for his family, and that's not just a financial responsibility. He also must be willing and able to provide for emotional and spiritual needs. A father should train his children and prepare them to become responsible adults who know how to negotiate the swift and sometimes evil currents of the culture.
3. A man protects his family. Don't be this guy: You are lying in bed with your wife, and you hear the sound of a window being opened in your kitchen at 3 a.m. You shake her awake and say, “The last time this occurred, I was the one who took our baseball bat and investigated to see if someone was breaking into our house. Now it’s your turn, Sweetheart. Here’s the bat!”? No! Being a protector calls for more than ensuring physical safety. Proverbs 4:10–15 describes a father who protects his son by passing on wisdom, helping him build godly character, and teaching him to reject the lies and temptations of the world. This father protects not only his son but the generations to follow as the wisdom he shares gets passed on. A hero is not necessarily the physically prepared so much as he is the spiritually grounded.
4. A man serves and leads his family. Serve and lead may seem like a contradiction, but they are inseparable according to Scripture. Christ is the perfect example of leading by serving. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:23 that "the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church." That last part of the verse excludes the dictatorial husband and father and replaces him with the servant-king. The passage goes on to say that husbands should love their wives "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (verse 25). This paints a picture of leadership contrary to how the world views it. A man is called to be a servant-leader –- to take responsibility for his wife and children and to put their needs ahead of his own. He is called to demonstrate selfless, sacrificial love –- the type of love we see in God toward his children.
5. A man follows God’s design for true masculinity. He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Malachi 6:8)? The core of a man’s life should be his relationship with God. The man who walks humbly with God is motivated and empowered to step up and assume the difficult responsibilities that come his way.

Those are some of my observations, JFS/BF and JFS. God bless.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Bf here his love was unconditional. He never gave up on people. When he corrected people he did it in a very sensitive manner.

JF here: couldn't you also argue that Christ was submissive by laying his life down?

When he corrected people, he did it in a loving but rebuking manner that came from a heightened sense of righteousness. These instances were kind in that He was instructing people on how to be better people, but probably not kind in the way some people may define the word, as He did sharply reprove.

And yes! He was submissive to the will of the Father and the greater good of things. There's your example of a leader; a Biblical man.

JF's BF here: Does that imply that the woman NEEDS spiritual guidance from the man?

Who doesn't need spiritual guidance?

 

[crossnote]

Bf here his love was unconditional. He never gave up on people. When he corrected people he did it in a very sensitive manner.

JF here: couldn't you also argue that Christ was submissive by laying his life down?

JF, Christ's submission was to the Father.

 

[crossnote]

JF's BF here: Does that imply that the woman NEEDS spiritual guidance from the man?

Spiritual guidance from a man who has submitted to Christ.

 

[oldthennew]

at certain and most times, I most definitely need Spiritual guidance and confirmation from my husband, (and where my trust comes from,
is living and experiencing His total Love and commitment to His Lord and Master.

so yes, I do defer to him, for I know his heart and it totally belongs to His heavenly Father, and he always goes to
Him for guidance and proper behavior.
yes, I am truly blessed among women!

 

[atwhatcost]

at certain and most times, I most definitely need Spiritual guidance and confirmation from my husband, (and where my trust comes from,
is living and experiencing His total Love and commitment to His Lord and Master.

so yes, I do defer to him, for I know his heart and it totally belongs to His heavenly Father, and he always goes to
Him for guidance and proper behavior.
yes, I am truly blessed among women!

That's so true. I have worked hard all my life to think and act from my brain, not my emotions. But I am a woman, so sometimes the emotions win out. It is good to have a hubby who can both duck (from my tirade) and then get me under control again. (My control, but he talks me off the ledge... figuratively speaking.)

 

[JFSurvivor]

Spiritual guidance from a man who has submitted to Christ.

JF here (my bf is at work): Why? Why does a WOMAN need spiritual leadership from a man? Are women not smart enough?

 

[oldthennew]

atwhatcost,

we are opposites, for my Father has made me a woman of pure emotion -
what we do have in common, is, I pray, that we honor what our Father has blessed
us with and will act according.

God Bless you Sister.

 

[atwhatcost]

JF here (my bf is at work): Why? Why does a WOMAN need spiritual leadership from a man? Are women not smart enough?

Smart? We're plenty smart (or not, but we range in intelligent levels about average with men. lol) Emotional! We're very emotional beings. Like I said, I fought hard to be rational, but I can't do rational like a man, anymore than I can carry a 200 pounder from a car wreck like a man.

That "weaker vessel" thing isn't wrong. Take a thin crystal goblet and a coffee mug of equal volume, and both hold the same amount. We can carry like a man, but we can't take the same pressure as a man. And, next time you get a chance to hold on to one of those thin wine goblets, check how much pressure it can take. We're not weak. We can take pressure, just not as much as men. We're not men. Simple fact.

And when you're in a two person relationship, what happens when consensus isn't reached? Never make a decision or decide who gets final decision when all else fails? God took what he knew of man and what he knew of woman and made a reasonable (downright perfect) decision on who gets final vote. And, again, the vote is so related to "love her" that it does make for an even handed vote.

To me, it feels like taking a long trip in the car. Sure, I can drive, but I can relax a bit, if I know he's driving. I still have to stay awake to help find the next exit or keep him awake. I'll even take over if he needs to relax, but I'm comforted in knowing he's in control, even as we're taking this trip together.

 

[Eva1218]

A man of GOD is a man who first and foremost has accepted JESUS as his LORD and SAVIOR, lives a Christlike filled life knows to Repent and is willing to humble himself when needed. Understands that he must submit to GOD is a man of one wife or is allowing himself to be prepared by GOD to become a husband to one wife. Is upstanding a man of integrity leader guides wife and family to submit to him with love and commitment. Is willing to make mistakes and not consider them failures. I can go on and on but to sum it all up a man of GOD biblical man is one who is committed to GOD even with all his flaws.

Great examples of biblical men:
Abraham
Noah
Isaiah
David
Paul
Peter
Boaz
Zechariah
The Book of Proverbs teaches males the perspective of becoming and walking into manhood as a Christian also Paul gives great examples such as when I was a child I spoke as a child 1 Corinthians 13:11

It is important that we do not bash men with the standards but allow GOD to do a great work within them and as parents, guardians, family members and friends we are to help in teaching, guiding and preparing them at a tender age.

Blessings!!!!!!!

 

[Jason0047]

Hey, JFS/BF!

There have been some good answer on here, and I'd like to give you a few from the perspective of an addictions/marriage & family counselor who has seen enough bad examples to build a short list of what a good example looks like. Before a man can love his wife as Christ loves the church, he has some personal housekeeping to tend to.

1. A man controls his emotions and passions. Single or married, a real man tames his passions. He doesn’t in any way abuse women or children -- particularly emotionally, which is where most abuse happens, and which type is the hardest to recognize and the least reported. A real man protects those around him, and that means family, friends, and strangers alike. He keeps his hands off a woman who is not his wife. He treats his wife with love, respect and dignity. He keeps his eyes off pornographic images. He protects a single woman’s virginity and innocence. He’s not defined by his exploits below the waist. He’s a man with a loving heart, a reasonable head, and a clear conscience.
2. A man provides for his family. "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). These are strident words. When a man doesn’t work and provide for his family, he feels a sense of shame. His self-worth plummets, and though you will hear some say self-worth should be inconsequential to a Christian, it is realistically vital, as a man cannot see himself as salvageable if he does not think well of himself. A man who doesn’t work, who can’t keep a job, who moves from job to job, or who refuses to assume his responsibility creates insecurity in his wife and children. Every man needs to provide for his family, and that's not just a financial responsibility. He also must be willing and able to provide for emotional and spiritual needs. A father should train his children and prepare them to become responsible adults who know how to negotiate the swift and sometimes evil currents of the culture.
3. A man protects his family. Don't be this guy: You are lying in bed with your wife, and you hear the sound of a window being opened in your kitchen at 3 a.m. You shake her awake and say, “The last time this occurred, I was the one who took our baseball bat and investigated to see if someone was breaking into our house. Now it’s your turn, Sweetheart. Here’s the bat!”? No! Being a protector calls for more than ensuring physical safety. Proverbs 4:10–15 describes a father who protects his son by passing on wisdom, helping him build godly character, and teaching him to reject the lies and temptations of the world. This father protects not only his son but the generations to follow as the wisdom he shares gets passed on. A hero is not necessarily the physically prepared so much as he is the spiritually grounded.
4. A man serves and leads his family. Serve and lead may seem like a contradiction, but they are inseparable according to Scripture. Christ is the perfect example of leading by serving. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:23 that "the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church." That last part of the verse excludes the dictatorial husband and father and replaces him with the servant-king. The passage goes on to say that husbands should love their wives "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (verse 25). This paints a picture of leadership contrary to how the world views it. A man is called to be a servant-leader –- to take responsibility for his wife and children and to put their needs ahead of his own. He is called to demonstrate selfless, sacrificial love –- the type of love we see in God toward his children.
5. A man follows God’s design for true masculinity. He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Malachi 6:8)? The core of a man’s life should be his relationship with God. The man who walks humbly with God is motivated and empowered to step up and assume the difficult responsibilities that come his way.

Those are some of my observations, JFS/BF and JFS. God bless.

I agree with all of them except number 3 (in part). Yes, we are to protect the ones we love to the best of our ability. I agree with that. But using physical violence was never advocated by our Lord Jesus Christ and or by the apostles under the New Testament. In fact, Peter was rebuked for taking up his sword. For when Jesus told them to buy a sword, he was talking about the Word of God (or the two edged sword that is able to divide asunder the soul and spirit). So I would see a man of God for the household in being willing to suffer as Christ had suffered. For all who live Godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. Does that mean I am against war? No. God carried out wars to His glory in the Old Testament; And I believe Jesus Christ will return and execute Judgement upon the remaining nations in the End Times. But for now, we obey our Lord and Master. If he says stop. We stop. If he says go, we go. We are not above our Lord.