big problem (please don't judge)

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JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
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So I have mentioned on here before how I struggled with homosexuality right? Well I have found myself being attracted to one of my good friends. No I do not want this. I am just as disgusted, if not more than you are. Please don't tell me how bad homosexuality is because I know. Please please be kind. I am looking for advice on this thread and some verses on self-control maybe. Also I know this isn't the prayer request forum but PLEASE pray for me!! And yes I have repented of this. I just want it gone. Help?

And yes I have a boyfriend which only makes me feel worse. :'(
 
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You got it. You'll be on my mind from now on, and He will hear about this struggle.
 
Praying for you. If you need to talk to someone, my inbox is open. I don't know what to say, but I am praying.
 
With the disclaimer that I have no expertise or background so forgive me if this is offensive or makes no sense --

Do you think it would make sense to employ the sort of tactics that are germane if a married heterosexual person finds himself or herself attracted to a friend who is of the opposite sex? E.g. avoid being alone together. Avoid one on one conversations on intimate/personal topics, as opposed to "safe" topics like work, sports, etc.

That might give you space to think and pray things through without the additional complications of "infidelity" (albeit to a SO who is not a spouse)
 
Well kiddo ... you're not loved any less by God (or by any of us) than you were an hour or so ago ... so that's a huge relief, no ? :) Temptations and trials come in many forms, some different for others than for ourselves. And if we say we have no sin, the truth is not in us. Your generation faces challenges like no other before it IMO. You guys/gals have been bombarded with information and material thru the media and entertainment channels from your very first steps. The more access, the more exposure to that which helps form us growing up, generally doing more harm than good. So accept God's forgiveness in Christ first ... and secondly, forgive yourself. God's grace and forgiveness isn't limited to only "certain types of sin". And don't walk alone or get ahead of yourself on this matter. One step with Christ ... one day at a time with Christ ... forgetting those things that are behind you and pressing on towards the mark. And pray for strength. I'll be lifting you up in prayer my dear lil' friend :)
 
Romans 8:34Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

God has already forgiven you! He does not love you any less.
Praying for you!
 
JFSurvivor said:
So I have mentioned on here before how I struggled with homosexuality right? Well I have found myself being attracted to one of my good friends. No I do not want this. I am just as disgusted, if not more than you are. Please don't tell me how bad homosexuality is because I know. Please please be kind. I am looking for advice on this thread and some verses on self-control maybe. Also I know this isn't the prayer request forum but PLEASE pray for me!! And yes I have repented of this. I just want it gone. Help?

And yes I have a boyfriend which only makes me feel worse. :'(
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I don't want to magnify this, so I hope to touch the surface by saying; I am so sorry that you think I am disgusted with you. The last thing I could possibly want for you to go through is your self-loathing. This is a horrible thing to go through. Remember I said I hope only to touch the surface; It is a natural thought that many think of; far more than would admit. I believe you are doing more harm than good to believe somehow that you are different. Just be careful what you do when you have thoughts that are naturally happening in most people at some point in their lives.
 
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at amazon there's this book that is one of the only, or maybe the only one, that helps some people with understanding and wisdom and freedom and strength simply and scripturally --
it was quite some years ago i came across it at a sale and perused parts of it and i think they had a good track record(of edifying helpful recovery in the body of Christ)....
(not with the public, but with believers desiring God's Way)..

as always, test everything... (by Scripture)

amazon dot
com/The-Transformation-Inner-John-Sandford/dp/0882705393
 
I think what you should first do is find someone you can talk to about this, who will listen before speaking. The second thing is to not be ashamed because of your feelings, because it sounds like you are trying to be godly in what you are doing - there can be no shame in that.

I was at a conference run by a group called Liberty Ministries, that seeks to minister to people who are same sex attracted. The guy who spoke at that was a gay guy called Wesley Hill - really swell guy, committed to celibacy, and had some good thoughts. I think he's a professor at an evangelical seminary, as well.I also know a guy who is same sex attracted, but is married with a kid, loves his wife, and has trained for the ministry. In some respects, I think being in a hetero relationship while dealing with same sex attraction is not that different to being in a marriage and having to guard against attractions you feel for other people of the opposite sex - there's no shame in the feeling of attraction, it's all about how you manage it.

Anyway, just know that what you're feeling isn't really all that out there, that there are others with the same feelings and struggles, and there are some smart people who've thought a lot about this kind of thing. There's no silver bullet fix, and God has not guaranteed to anyone that he will suddenly and magically reform your desires (same goes for same sex attraction as for general lust, as for chasing after money, etc). But if you seek him first, there's nothing to fear.
 
I'll pray for you.

Something you can consider in addition to prayer, Bible study, and asking others to pray for you is to pay attention to what you are doing with your thoughts. II Corinthians 10 talks about bringing thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Usually, people fall in love after staring at another person and day dreaming about how good that person is. You can ask the Lord to help you tame your thoughts and start paying attention to what you let yourself think about.
 
Praying for you, Dont worry you are among Friends and more than that you are our Sister. Galatians 5 has always helped me with Temptation.


as always your servant in Christ
Tony
 
just remember, it is not a sin to be tempted. so, just do not let temptations turn into actions. the above posts are all great advice.
 
JFSurvivor said:
So I have mentioned on here before how I struggled with homosexuality right? Well I have found myself being attracted to one of my good friends. No I do not want this. I am just as disgusted, if not more than you are. Please don't tell me how bad homosexuality is because I know. Please please be kind. I am looking for advice on this thread and some verses on self-control maybe. Also I know this isn't the prayer request forum but PLEASE pray for me!! And yes I have repented of this. I just want it gone. Help?

And yes I have a boyfriend which only makes me feel worse. :'(
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No offense, but if you're attracted to your friend and at the same time digusted [if that's even possible :confused:] you're clearly not gay. I mean, I've been attracted to friends myself and NEVER been disgusted. Can't give you any advice though, in a way I'm trying to making sense of my feelings in the light of scripture myself, but I'm not that learned. What can I say: there's so much going in my own life, so many emotions, but I've learnt that not everything should be taken as seriously, not everything is as important. Find out what matters most, and that's clearly the love for you bf, and accept that you can also have feelings for your friend. Don't hate yourself for it though, just let it go. :)

 
My thoughts:

If I were drawn to a male friend it is probable that I lacked social and affective interaction with a female friend or a girl friend.

One of my brothers told me, a couple of years ago that he met, online, a Canadian man who "wanted to marry a man or a woman..." and that happened while he played 2nd life and what that man said was real, if he had the chance... To me, our souls, are greatly exposed to honesty (and risks) if we´re deprived from loved ones.
 
secularhermit said:
My thoughts:

If I were drawn to a male friend it is probable that I lacked social and affective interaction with a female friend or a girl friend.
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Lol, I have tons of female friends, more than most guys my age actually, and I'm still "drawn to male friends."

Now worries, judging from your avatar you will never be "drawn to a male friend," more the extreme opposite. :p
 
I understand..no other 'sin" is so accepted, praised, exalted, paraded, exhibited and honored in our society. Do you ever hear of 'coming out of the closet" thieves, adulterers, etc? In fact...the world will be happy for you if they knew that you have a boyfriend. I, as a CHRISTIAN, cannot condone homosexuality. I have it within my own DNA family. Yes, I love the person, but I hate the rut that my kinfolk have found themselves stuck in. Satan knows our weaknesses and it seems that no other area is so plaqued by his presence. Please never blame GOD for this condition, nor believe that JESUS wants you to remain in favor of allowing your life to be infected with this delimna. I have struggled myself with this issue, due to a childhood molestation, making me feel less of a male. After decades of hiding the fact that I was a victim, I finally admitted to my church family last SUnday that I have been struggling with this issue. NO, I am not an adamant gay rites advocate nor have I ever had a boyfriend, but I have had extreme tempatations and have put myself directly into the firing range of satan's darts. To be totally honest with you, I discovered that 'gay' is a sweet worldly term for a demonic influence that permeates a person into believing that their sexual pleasure and choices are ok, as long as it is kept to a minimum or a 'mutual understanding' between same sex partners. The feelins you have expresses only show that GOD has not finished with you yet. He speaks through your conscience and you do feel 'guilty' because, deep inside, you know it is not GODLY nor blessed nor annointed. I would encourage you to read the testimony of Dennis Jernigan who was delivered from this. THIS chatroom also has several past addicts of this lifestyle that have helped me and prayed with me. I am delivered from this, after too long of a time, but now, I can look back and see that GOD is going to use me to help those in the same boat. You are loved by GOD and HE knows your heart. Keep JESUS close and please allow the HOLY SPIRIT to search your total mind, body and spirit and begin a healing process, for that is what it takes...more like an exorcism to rid you of this evil. GOD bless, brother..and you now have a prayer partner!
 
lumberjack said:
Lol, I have tons of female friends, more than most guys my age actually, and I'm still "drawn to male friends."

Now worries, judging from your avatar you will never be "drawn to a male friend," more the extreme opposite. :p
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Where you judging me by that?

Ha! Ja!
 
I'm glad that there's someone who's quite honest about that issue. If you can admit your struggle, it simply means that you're heading on the right direction unlike many who have chosen to allow Satan to deceive them by making them believe that it's normal. One thing that you should keep in mind is that the last thing you can do is to give in. The reason is that it's one thing to give yourself over to sin, but it's something entirely different to get out.

But, I strongly recommend you to stand firmly on the full inheritance of the Lord's death on the cross. There's power in the death of Christ, in His blood, and in His name to make you overcome sinful impulses. You job is to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit by putting to death the misdeeds of the flesh (Romans 8:13). You do that by submitting yourself daily to Christ's Lordship and authority over your life. Keep in mind, the Holy Spirit is One giving us self-control. Since He's the one sent by God in order to empower us to resist sin in order to live holy lives, you have to rely on Him to guide you.
 
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