And that could be the 'root of his problem ! She obviously needs sex and he does not ! what kind of marriage would that be ....with any woman ?
Can't accept my girlfriend's past
- Thread starter Paulie
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And that could be the 'root of his problem ! She obviously needs sex and he does not ! what kind of marriage would that be ....with any woman ?
D
Depleted
Guest
Surprise! The guy who already read a whole lot of other people's opinions, and sought out other people's opinions instead of asking God, has yet again found other people's opinions unsatisfying. (BTW, 31 posts all about you on this one topic is a bit more than "a few post I made on a website.")
Clue to other posters: Neither person in that relationship were Christians.
You might want to show her some scripture that shows the need for her to ask God for forgiveness.
1 Corinthians 6:[SUP]15 [/SUP]Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.[SUP] 17 [/SUP]But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.[SUP] 18 [/SUP]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.[SUP] 19 [/SUP]What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?[SUP] 20 [/SUP]For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 Corinthians 7:1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.[SUP]3 [/SUP]Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The why for repentance is to avoid being left behind at the pre trib rapture event.
Galatians 5:[SUP]19 [/SUP]Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,[SUP]20 [/SUP]Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,[SUP] 21 [/SUP]Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP]5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP] 6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP]7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.[SUP] 8 [/SUP]If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.[SUP] 9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.[SUP]10 [/SUP]If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
So it is about abiding in Him in maintaining that proper fellowship by walking in the light as He has done, otherwise, if any saved believer does not repent of the iniquity for which they have done, then they need to go before that throne of grace and ask Jesus for help to see why she should regret it and why she should ask for forgiveness as well as His help not to do that again until she is married.
Now... if she is not a saved believer in Christ... you are kind of putting the cart before the horse there. Preach the gospel. Only by having Jesus Christ in her does she have any hope of seeing fornication as a sin to ask Him for forgiveness for and to lean on Him to keep her from that sin and to see marriage as a way to avoid fornication.
But that's the problem. She has not asked God to forgive her for those sins. If she has no regret, then there is no repentance. Certainly does not sound like she had asked God to forgive her.
And Paulie is wanting to be equally yoked and not have a different mindset about how to raise their children in marriage. Paulie wants to be able to say abstain from sex until you are married to their teenage sons & daughters without her saying the opposite, bragging about some romantic sexual fling that she has no regret for having it.
He loves her as God does too, but her not asking God for forgiveness is one thing and not having regret is another. Fornicators can have regret for having that sexual relationship with somebody because of that person and yet still not ask God for forgiveness, but for a saved believer to not regret having done that at all, certainly shows she was not in need of asking God to forgive her then.
Although we are saved, we are called to repentance to abide in Him and have that fellowship as we ought. The past is the past but having no regret for what she has done is not showing a sign of repentance nor of ever having a need to ask God to forgive her for that sinful lifestyle.
As for your signature....
John 8:[SUP]10 [/SUP]When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?[SUP] 11 [/SUP]She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.[SUP]12 [/SUP]Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.....[SUP]8 [/SUP]He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Heb 8v12: "For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."
If God does NOT remember her past sins, WHY do you!
I believe that you may have stated the real reason for the agony this guy has. Now, if she did have sex, and only with him, would he still expect her to repent of her sin? Would he repent of his sin? The problem may indeed be jealousy, and possibly envy.
P
P3nnywise
Guest
I'm trying to understand what her past has to do with you though.
If I were you, I would be more concerned with her testimony of the word of God than I would about who she has had sex with. It's like worrying about a leaky faucet as the Titanic is sinking.
P
P3nnywise
Guest
Hahaha, I mean no disrespect brother... what do you expect then? I think you know what you need to do, the real question is will you actually do it? You say you "can't" let her go, but I think it's more accurate to say you "don't want to let her go."
If you stay with her, you have no right to give her grief over her past. You knew she was not a Christian...
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P3nnywise
Guest
You shouldn't leave her because of the past- no one can change the past. But you should leave her if she is not remorseful for her sins. Sounds like unequally yoked to me. Do you really want to marry someone who doesn't have a conscience? There would be many problems, and possible future children entangled in that.
H
heartofdavid
Guest
Make Jesus your number one.
Make her somewhere down the line in your life and get away from her.
I married one of these narcissists and got trapped.
Go ahead and marry her...you will find out.
Make her somewhere down the line in your life and get away from her.
I married one of these narcissists and got trapped.
Go ahead and marry her...you will find out.
My first wife was a bit of a narcissist too. I too felt trapped until the day came when she left me. Now I was free.
Paulie:
Everyone at one point in their life has something/choices that they made and are not proud of because as we age we have many experiences. My question to you is this, would you want someone that loved you to hold your past against you...something that you cannot change? We can either move forward in our lives or dwell in the past by building walls or we can build bridges....
Everyone at one point in their life has something/choices that they made and are not proud of because as we age we have many experiences. My question to you is this, would you want someone that loved you to hold your past against you...something that you cannot change? We can either move forward in our lives or dwell in the past by building walls or we can build bridges....
R
RBW8
Guest
Can't force an apology that she isn't willing to give. You either let her past be her past or end the relationship if it's something you can't get past.
It sounds like even if she did apologize it's something that you won't be able to get over. I mean, do you expect her to make you apologize for your all of your sins? Whatever she did I'm sure you had sex before marriage also. We can't be hung up on our "significant other's" past. Worry about how she treats you now.
It sounds like even if she did apologize it's something that you won't be able to get over. I mean, do you expect her to make you apologize for your all of your sins? Whatever she did I'm sure you had sex before marriage also. We can't be hung up on our "significant other's" past. Worry about how she treats you now.
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RBW8
Guest
Not directed at you I just saw the quote but to the OP: you can't let loneliness keep you in a relationship that isn't good for you.
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pottersclay
Guest
Truth be told.....it's not her it's you....you see her only in the physical. Time to move on, nothing but heart ache and jealous thoughts.
B
bigjohn
Guest
i am going to be blunt , and i hope you will not be angry with me. as a christian your supposed to forgive others their trespass....it says it right there in the lords prayer. maybe we all need to stop just reciting that prayer and try actually praying it.
she didn't even trespass against you, it was in the past. to paraphrase a fairly well known,,and pretty smart guy, cast that stone, only if your sinless.
she didn't even trespass against you, it was in the past. to paraphrase a fairly well known,,and pretty smart guy, cast that stone, only if your sinless.